The Misadventures of Padfoot and Prongs

"Lyra," a voice spoke from the sixth-year's pocket. Lyra pulled out the two-way mirror and gazed down into the grey eyes of Sirius Black.

"You both outside?" she asked as dessert appeared on the table.

Sirius nodded, cheeks flushed at the impending embarrassment that would soon come.

"Alright, we'll get everyone's attention," Lyra said, motioning for Peter to go to the doors.

"When we call your names, strut, don't just walk, into the Great Hall. Sirius, you are going to climb atop Hufflepuff's table and James you are to do the same for Gryffindor."

"Make sure they have their knickers on underneath," said Remus. "No one wants to see that!"

"Sirius, do you and James have something on to cover your...uhmm," Lyra cleared her throat and pointed down to her lap.

"Our willies?" the Ravenclaw blushed and nodded, causing Sirius and James to explode in laughter. "Yes! Yes, of course! The bloody hell you think we are? Perverts?"

Lyra just blushed a deeper red, saying, "Just be ready for when Peter announces you." And with that the connection of the mirror was cut off.

Once everything was ready, Peter placed his wand to his throat and said, "Sonorus," taking a deep breath, he then yelled out, "MAY I PLEASE HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION?!"

The entire hall stopped talking and turned to the boy at the doors.

Peter's face flushed for a second, but one look at Remus and Lyra, his confidence came back with a force.

"From the masterminds of Gryffindor's Quidditch Captain and Ladies' Man, I present to you James Potter and Sirius Black!"

James and Sirius burst through the doors at that moment, each going to their designated 'cat walk' and began strutting. The entire tables of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff errupted in laughter and applause, along with three quarters of the Ravenclaws. The Slytherins just gawked at them, their mouths open, until they started hysterically laughing.

However, two Slytherins in particular did not join in with their Housemates.

One was sulking at the sight of the two boys in drag. It wasn't but a few months ago that Potter and Black embarrassed Severus Snape by turning him upside down using Levicorpus, showing the world his underpants. It didn't seem fair that here they were, making a mockery of themselves, and yet they still managed to get positive attention.

The other was a fifth year named Regulus Black, brother of the boy in the striped dress. Regulus, although used to feeling ashamed of Sirius, had never felt so much disdain for his older sibling than he did in that moment. Unfortunately, all he could do was sink in his place on the bench, cover his face with his hands, and hope this would all be over soon.

"As you can see here," said Peter, voice still loud as ever, "James Potter is sporting a very dashing pink dress with what Muggles are calling 'Goo-Goo boots'-" a few students sniggered at the mispronunciation of the shoes.

James did a little twirl, the edges of his skirt flying up slightly. A few ladies cheered, including Lily Evans, who couldn't help but get into the spirit of things. She had known that something was up with the Marauders, but never in her wildest dreams had she imagined something quite like this.

Peter continued to talk about James' fabulous make-up, then switched over to Sirius, "Sirius Black is looking fierce today in a multi-toned striped number and black boots." The grey-eyed boy traipsed up and down the tables, trying his hardest not to fall from the unfamiliar sensation if walking in heels.

After a bit more strutting from James and Sirius, and obnoxiously worded commentating from Peter, the boys finally took a stand at the end of the table closest the faculty, facing the student body.

"Any last words for our audience, ladies?" Peter said, glancing at his friends.

"Well," James began in a high pitched voice, "I'm not sure I can measure up to Shirley's eloquence and grace. And what a beautiful lady she makes!"

Sirius threw him a glare, and then smirked.

"Jasmine," Sirius said, in a high pitched voice as well, "certainly has some great qualities about her as well. For instance, look at those womanly legs! And that slender form! I wish I could be as womanly as you, Jasmine."

James now glared at Sirius for a second before turning to the audience, waiting.

"Now, Remus and Lyra will pass out some ballots for you to vote for which one of these fine ladies will win this beauty pageant," the young Gryffindor spoke.

Lyra and Remus complied, and began to magically pass out ballots. Almost immediately, students started grabbing the small slips of paper and were marking down their choice. There was excited murmuring all throughout the Great Hall as they filled out the ballots. Once everyone had finished, the ballots flew into the air and zoomed overhead back to Remus and Lyra.

Lyra murmured a single spell causing all the ballots to fall in a pile in front of her. She waved her wand over the pile and the tiny slips of paper suddenly exploded in orange sparks. The glittering bits of color swarmed in the air and came together to form a single word. The name "Sirius" glowed in the air, causing a large number of the student body to cheer loudly, including one of the boys standing on the tables. The other, however, looked incredibly disappointed.

Sirius Black looked at the orange letters and his heart sank. Not only did he now owe Potter seven Galleons, but he would have to manage getting close enough to McGonagall to attempt to kiss her. He felt like he'd rather battle a dragon.

James raised his wand to his throat and repeated the spell Peter had used while introducing them. "Well, it looks like I wasn't pretty enough to gain all of your votes," yet he didn't seem all that disappointed. "As many of you know, Sirius and I like to have these... little wagers every now and then. Well this one was one of them. See, Mr. Black here claimed that I could very well fit in with the Harpies, due to my supposed feminine looks. Of course I countered this by pointing out that he was in fact much more of a girl then I!" James grinned at Sirius.

"You can see the result. Now it's time for you to pay up, Sirius," the boy in the striped dress cringed. "You can give me the galleons later, but the other part of the bet-"

Sirius, wanting to get the whole damn thing over with as quick as possible, turned and made his way to the staff table. All the professors looked at him curiously, trying to figure out what he was doing. Throwing away his dignity, Sirius Black jumped up and over the table and grabbed a very shock McGonagall by her hand. Bring the woman to a standing postition, Sirius then dipped her and gave her lips a very forced and harsh kiss, before he lifted her back up and ran out of her reach, jumping up behind James, hiding slightly.

The entire hall seemed to explode in laughter.

"What the- I'll have you- What-" McGonagall couldn't form a coherent sentence, but kept wiping her mouth off. "Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin and Lyra Sumner, follow me to my office immediately!" She raged, walking down the aisles of the Great Hall, dragging the two best friends off the table by their ears.

Once the six of them were out of the Great Hall, McGonagall let go of them and stormed ahead, her heels making sharp clicking noise in the emptiness of the corridor. When they finally reached her office on the 7th floor, she walked behind her desk an rounded on them. "Never in my time as a teacher have I met students as disrespectful and rowdy as you lot," she was still visibly angry and her right hand was itching to reach for her wand. "Sirius Black, you will have two weeks detention, effective immediately!" James looked slightly sympathetic, but then turned scared as McGonagall rounded on him. "And you, James Potter, don't think you're off the hook. You will serve one week of detention," she now turned to the remaining three. "I am gravely disappointed in you three for playing along with their charade. Especially you, Remus," the prefect looked down, hanging his head slightly. "The three of you will recieve three days of detention, each."

No one dared to question McGonagall's decision. They took their punishments and were dismissed. They waited until they were far away from the Deputy Headmistress' office before any of them spoke.

"I can't believe I just did that," said Sirius quietly.

"I can't believe you just did that either," said Lyra, looking at Sirius with a sort of amazed confusion. "So that's what you meant when you said that only McGonagall would be caught in the crossfire?" Sirius only nodded in the affirmative, unable to speak anymore. He looked horrified with himself. "Honestly, I'm sort of... impressed," she said, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion over why she found this impressive.

"How so?" James asked, looking at the two. Remus was still looking down, disappointed with himself. Peter was slightly cheerful at the fact that he was getting in trouble for breaking the rules with his friends.

"Well, I mean, that took guts, didn't it? He had to actually get up there and kiss McGonagall, for Merlin's sake!" she said.

"So you don't think less of me?" Sirius asked, his lips starting to lift into that signature smile.

"Of course not! It was bloody hilarious!"

As it turned out, the vast majority of the other students shared Lyra's sentiment. When class continued that Monday, he recieved many nods of approval and people he had never even spoken to before stopped him in the hallway to tell him how great they thought what he and James did was.

"It was bloody brilliant, mate! Good on you! I'd never have the nerve to do something like that!" one Hufflepuff who he didn't even know by name told him while they were in Potions.

Seated at the Great Hall, the four Gryffindor boys and the spirited Ravenclaw girl discussed the attention they were now getting.

"I think this was the greatest thing we have ever pulled off," said James, nudging Sirius, causing him to nearly choke on his food.

Remus spoke up beside them, "By far the greatest thing I have ever had the pleasure of participating in!"