Sequel: Our Lady of sorrows ›
I will die in this place.
some things are to beautiful to see with your eyes
I looked at my watch 8:00.pm I was getting bored of the local Cd store and i was all bound up from the movies i watched with some college buddies a few days before. I sat on the bench that seemed, to me, in the middle of nowhere. I felt for Mikey and Gerard I really did but latley it seemed they cared nothing fo me.
My feet shuffled over the concreate in circular motions. "I wasn't ready for this" I told my self. Sure, I know you see these stroies every day on the news where somone just killed themselfes and the reporters rack thier brains to figure out what trigered such an event. But really it isn't that hard if you think it through simply. Its probably that if they can't figure out their life,or life in general. Theres only one way to truly find out what it is but is that the only way.
To me I beleive every one dies for a reson, but then again my theory can be wrong too. Why does God put us here on earth, only to wounder why we even exist. Or what if it wasn't God at all? Was i wrong to Question anothers existance.
I must be crazy. or metaly ill. I looked up at the old 1940' Recoreds and Runways store. Seemed to me every one in this place was seperate from the outside world and maby thats how New Jersey is supose to feel. However i feel so lost how can people just exept their perpose? What if we have no perpose?
God I was thinking to deep for my own good. It would probabley be best to forget it and just accept that not every one can live to the life expactancey. Is every one this F***ed-up? I sure hope so.
I felt like Mikey right then. Mikey, My good buddy, always seemed so lost in life. I felt like Gerard a second later. Even more confused about life and to top that off obsessing of death. It was all alittle morbid to me, but then again mabey Gee and Mikey were normal. What if people like them are actually the 'real' people and we are all just the prototypes. I mean it has to take alot of testing before creating the perfict human.
I sighed to myself. I looked into the sky that was now turning a shade of indigo that i wish i could paint with music. I was having a deprssioninal moumet were it seemed like nothing was truly real. But during this time i somehow made the best tunes. Strange how life moves under your very toes without you knowing. But i felt bad, Mikey and Gee were olny thinking best for me. I was the youngest and so that automaticly puts me in the "most imiture" section of the band.
"I'm sorry Gerard, Sorry Mikey," I said Quietly to the appering stars. "If you knew what choices i had to make you would forgive me." I put my hands in my pocket of my tan like trench coat and began walking away from the bench. THis time I closed my eyes. Some things are to beautiful to see with your eyes open.
My feet shuffled over the concreate in circular motions. "I wasn't ready for this" I told my self. Sure, I know you see these stroies every day on the news where somone just killed themselfes and the reporters rack thier brains to figure out what trigered such an event. But really it isn't that hard if you think it through simply. Its probably that if they can't figure out their life,or life in general. Theres only one way to truly find out what it is but is that the only way.
To me I beleive every one dies for a reson, but then again my theory can be wrong too. Why does God put us here on earth, only to wounder why we even exist. Or what if it wasn't God at all? Was i wrong to Question anothers existance.
I must be crazy. or metaly ill. I looked up at the old 1940' Recoreds and Runways store. Seemed to me every one in this place was seperate from the outside world and maby thats how New Jersey is supose to feel. However i feel so lost how can people just exept their perpose? What if we have no perpose?
God I was thinking to deep for my own good. It would probabley be best to forget it and just accept that not every one can live to the life expactancey. Is every one this F***ed-up? I sure hope so.
I felt like Mikey right then. Mikey, My good buddy, always seemed so lost in life. I felt like Gerard a second later. Even more confused about life and to top that off obsessing of death. It was all alittle morbid to me, but then again mabey Gee and Mikey were normal. What if people like them are actually the 'real' people and we are all just the prototypes. I mean it has to take alot of testing before creating the perfict human.
I sighed to myself. I looked into the sky that was now turning a shade of indigo that i wish i could paint with music. I was having a deprssioninal moumet were it seemed like nothing was truly real. But during this time i somehow made the best tunes. Strange how life moves under your very toes without you knowing. But i felt bad, Mikey and Gee were olny thinking best for me. I was the youngest and so that automaticly puts me in the "most imiture" section of the band.
"I'm sorry Gerard, Sorry Mikey," I said Quietly to the appering stars. "If you knew what choices i had to make you would forgive me." I put my hands in my pocket of my tan like trench coat and began walking away from the bench. THis time I closed my eyes. Some things are to beautiful to see with your eyes open.