I will die in this place.

Wow. What was her name again? Oh yah Samantha right? I think so. Okay so i was kinda in a bad state to talk to some chick right now. I mean there was a little to much of all those huge pills they made me swallow to 'ease the pain'. Yah right i dont think i've felt this bad since the time Mikey F***ed-up my Samich! God i still have yet to kill him for that.

"So your the imfamse Gerard aye?" She was checking a bottle. I think. Godness couldn't see anything.every thing i saw came totally out of perspective. Blured and eventually went blank. My room was well off. In other words its where the doctors put 'special' patients. I sware these drugs don't kill my stupidity and they don't need to treat me like i don't no what the word 'special' meens. Like when your mom says: "Honey, every bodys special." And then uyou say "YAY! Im gonna tell all the kids at school i'm special!" And later on in life you find out special means you have mental issues.

I tried to move to the side of my bed more comforable. "I guesssssss-ssoooooo" My mouth felt like jelly guess the meds. were really kickin' in.

"I hear from your files,you have a drug recored is that true?" My smile faded, oh crap. She was on to me, wait a sec not on to me! Knew i was a drugie CRAP CRAP CRAPY F***!

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllll Immmmmmmm NOts Exxxxxactoly-" I was cut off by her fast toung.

"Hon, I can totally under stand if your on so meds." Oh! but im sorry it wasn't like that. My face got hot. Unfortunatly I felt to week to move my hand to my fore head. I could feel the sweat invade my breath. my hand were shakey, i tried to run them through my hair but I could she was staring right into my soul!

"Yahhhhh sumtin wike dat." I mutterd. Still smiling, she licked the tip of her old fashion caligraghy pen and put it to her notebook.

"so....What was it?" her eye's were pleading but God what could I say? They only people I Ever told was Mikey and well Maby Frank found out on his own. But still wasn't about to tell anyone knew.

I tossed to my side making sure to look inocente, "Domt wememba quit was ya noo." The docter behind her made incurageing state ments to try and get me to counger up my forgotten drugs.

Finally she rolled her eyes and turned to the doctor,
"mabey he will tell us later, yah know after he is home with his.....brother and um, the other, um girl." She was whispering but i could hear every word. She turned extremly fast with a "super-fake" smile on.

"All right Sweets your allowed back home!" I could feel the tention wipe me clean of the heavy regret of lying but come on every one has that. I hope?

She put her mango smelling hand benith my armpit and helped me rise up from the plasic bed, that didn't smell good at all, more like that air plane smell.

I stuffley moved to the wheel chair they assined me, " No F***ing wayu putten mey in therrrrr." I would not! wait ...Will not! ride in a wheel chair no matter haow damn F***ed up I am!

"Come on Hun its only a wheel chair!" Her voice was between her teeth like a snkes would be.

" Yes now mr. Way we must be adatable men, you survived after all an-" I rudley cut him off, with some terrmainal advice.

"SHUT-UP I ain't gossin' Iw usb a Kruntch if i Goata." They looked at me funny. "A Kruntch!"

"OH crutches! yes dear we do that! of course we can do that gosh why didn't you think of that Henry?" She turned and glared at the Doctor like it was all his falt.

"wisstn....jus jus, gemma kruntch k?" God! hate novicaine! there only spose to use it in the dentist world but i guess they stoped that law!

* * * * *

After a long wait I finally had my crutches. I was gladly able to move better in a wheelchair but i had way to much pride for that. I was taking my steps with care my legs were still weak. Step by step thats how that neal guy did it and thats the way I'll do it.

I came out of the hall way and saw Mikey he smiled at me, I smiled back. A long silence beheld this moment in time. He ran twords me and hugged every once of living being out me. I hoped from foot to foot to hold my balance as i let the crutches fall so i could hug my brother.

I felt a couple tears slip out of my eye's, the moist tril left by my salty tears gave way to mikeys butter sand hair. I kissed the top of his head and hugged him tighter.

"I'm oday noo Miksey, aww oksay." He looked up there were tears in his eyes too. we hugged some more and then after what seemed like hours Mikey said somthing.

"Your not bad Gee never ever Bad." As if he was reading my thoughts, I smiled and cried broke down into the least manly tear I've ever seen. I couldn't containe my self. Me and Mikey there in a Hospital and I'm Crying not in pain but in Joy, Happieness that my brother knows me knows my ever thought be fore i think it.