I will die in this place.

So I fallowed Holly to meet some of her Rocker friends that were tight through highschool.

"So, Jared is it? You like art right." This girl was asking me. I looked at her face that was saverly covered in black eye shadow. She was blonde, but her hair looked like it had been therough sex.

"Yah um...I think arts pretty cool. I do, well I wish i could go into the comic busieness." This was the truth. But i wasn't about to argue how to pronounce my name proberly. Just because it would take all day. And this girl looked really uneducated.

Out the corner of my eye i saw Mikey travel away from the food court. He looked happy enough. And i wasn't about to spend my whole night trying to get him to talk to girls again. Because that was just stupid. I kicked a can near my foot just thinking of how lame this party was. Then looked at Holly she seemed to be having the best time of her life. I had to smile. 'Maby this was all she knew' I thought 'to be at a party bringing in new friends...' She was a friend wasn't she? Wasn't she?!

"Or we could be more."

"What couldn't hear you Gee?" Oh CRAP! she heard me I must have said it aloud! s***! S***!!

"Uh, uh I wan't alittle more....Beer! Yes beer would be good. where can i find it?" Holly looked at me funny as if i had a worm in my pants.

"Ah, Gerard you feeling okay yo look red. maybe its to hot in here, come on I'll take you out side." Oh no! I put my hand to my cheek was I blushing? CRAP! F***ing CRAP! But hey we get to go outside,....alone.

Holly told her 'friends' that we needed some air. Or just cause she thought i was embaressed to be around her, 'friends'. We walked at a fast pase but i could still keep up exept i had to push through a couple of really burly guys and there ho friends.

Holly reached this amazing balcony with a beautiful rose bush on the left side of the deck. she turned to me touching my forhead gently, checkeing for any trace of a fever. I could feel myself sweat under her touch just the thought of being sick right now scaredd me. My hands shakley clasped together thinking it was better to keep my whole body still.

The night was cool and the moon was of a cresent behind the eirie clouds in the sky. There were no sightings of any stars. Or people. But you could still her the sutle links of laughter and hard rock music that sounds like a roiting group.

She removed her hand and backed away. Looking me over as if i needed to pass inspection. I looked at her concentrated face. And each line and how it made a perficley undecifered expression.

She looked up with violet eyes the moon hitting just the right point to be called beautiful pools of purple. Her face tilted so I was able to see half in moonlight and the other shroded in mysterious shadows. A face so pale like the paper I draw on, Just like the people I draw.

Holly put her elbowls on the balcony rim resting her wrists over the side. Facing the garden, there was a swimming pool. It glimered by little light it had. As If maby it was drinking the moon. Taking small sips from it. and making the moon smaller with each swift drink.

"You know you don't have a cold or anything." Still faceing the garden she made a non-efort head bend twords me.

I was twitching i felt a strong buzz within my body tingle and reach my toes not, a disturbing feeling but one that could not be ignored. I closed my eyes and took a breath. And before I found what i was saying, I had said it. My toung was blacked by the words. Not bad words but differen't. They wouldn't normaly come form a mouth like mine. No, not the swear kind of words the...loving kind of words, And I for one was not in favor of it in any way.

"So what made you kiss me?" Straight from the place i had stored every thing bad. Is where it had sprung from my lips. I stared at Holly her expression didn't change but her whole baody moved roughly to the side of the balcony.

"Was I not supose to." She said shamefully. "It was more....point of the moment yah no." She picked a rose from the bush. Still avoiding my eyes. She patted the spot next to her and curled her finger. I walked noncielontely over to a spot i had been staring at. Then a silence long. Longer in your mind then it ever was in real life. This is a time when I searched my mind for answers but couldn't find them.

"Did you like it?" Hollys gaze moved to me quickley in a stare into your soul, kind-of-gaze. Her voice was sutle and inocient. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Oddly i had felt the same feeling i had felt, when i was deep with in my own thoughts.
The kiss of the angel.

Still staring deeply into my eyes, still drilling small wholes into my sad exuse for a human brain. I could feel an undeniable urge with in me. I kissed her. Lips hard against hers. I could feel her open her mouth for me. my toung tosled with her's until mine prevailed. Her kiss was wounderful. my head was filling with the taste of chocolate and punch. a tase so bettersweet I needed to have more. I could feel the addicton brewing in my mouth.

I could feel her fingers running through my hair. gentaly tossing it from sid eto side. My hands slid to her waist but were stopped by the same hand that had moved my hair into the most monful ways.

"Gerard This is wrong." Holly was staring at my not having to catch her breath or anything just sitting there seirious as hell itself. I was trying to catch my own breath and withdrew from the hold.

"What makes this so wrong." I said still trying to catch air.

"If you knew the things I did you wouldn't be doing this." Angd just like it never happened she walked right into the party and well, partied. And I was left alone to my thoughts. And how much I hated confronting my thoughts