I will die in this place.

Sick! sick! Gerard you son of a. . .AHHHGGGgggg. I hate you. I coud't begin to explain my anger! I was so mad! so MAD! why did he have to do that HE KNEW I HATE HER HE KNEW IT! But it made no difference she did the same thing to every guy. Put her little spell on them and wait for results. GOD I HATE HER! HEAR THIS SAMI I HATE YOU! (A/N: not really Smai I love you I would never hate you. Its just. . .MOre drama you know.)

I kicked some dirt in the street and plunked down under an sad looking apple tree. I saw Gerard come down Sami's gargantion drive-way. I turned my head and picked an inocent dandilion from the uncut grass. twirling it in my finger and throwing it on the ground and squashing it. Fuck you dandilion.

Gerard stood in front of me towering like a giraff. His hair ligered over his face brushed by the wind. staring right at me. I looked away again.

"Yah you done getting your nap you little hippogrit."

Hearing his feet shuffled and evetually he sat uncomfortably close to me, little bastard trying to butter me up. His clothes were wet his black skinny jeans were wet his black jakect was wet his Distillers T-shirt was wet, and his shoulderlangth black hair was drenched just enough so the hair was becouming a curly wieghted mess. But even when he was soaking wet he looked amazing.

It had to be a vison thing because no one looks good in the rain, well almost no one. Cuz gerard deffiatly looked hot in the rain.

NO! YOUR MAD AT HIM! God I hate fighting my self cuz i know I always win. Curse you self curse you!

Gee was wringing out his hair. God I wanted to touch it run my fingers through it. He'd let me yah know, Thats what he'd want. . .But Im only being 'friends' with him for my own benifit of actually getting to know a guy. So there will be no touching of hair or any other disterbing thoughts. not yet. . .

"I'm sorry."

"You should be." I needed to keep up the act even though i was thinking much deeper then that now.

Gerard shrugged. And picked at his chucks. (A/N: I know that sounds pervy but its his shoes, you all own em!) "Well I thought she was being alright,"

I rolled my eyes for dramatic affect. "Yah for a beaver." I actually had no idea i was that bad at comparisons, a beaver? Come on.

"IF it doesn't bother you by me saying exactly why do you 'hate' Sami?"

This was like a slap to the face. I had a reson, I did. I just. . .lost it over the years. Grudges can be pointless things. After a while you no longer have evidence that anything ever occured between anyone. And your not going to say anything because you still believe what she did is totally still there now.

"We have a bad past okay!" I really wasn't up for this discution. I knew he would find some way to get me back in that house aplogize for being bitchy and then leave. Yah right.

Gerard shrugged again, he was really into the shrugging. He scooched alittle closer to me and put his foot alined with mine.

"Were the same. . .you and me just well different people." He eyed his foot that was equivelent to mine on the wet grass. It had been raining hard but we only got small droplets under the tree. Leaves sheltering our bodies. With the only exeption for a blue mooned rain drop to sit on my head.

I had No idea what he ment by this somthing metophoric or smart, deep that would make a poet jump to paper. So I played along.

"We are different you know, I mean I couldn't as well walk around in your skin and still be called Holly could I?"

Gee chuckled. "No I supose you couldn't, But we like thne same things, like parties and music and well black stuff. . ."

"Yah," I had to say 'I only liked parties for my friends' But that would just ruin simple evidence.
"So. What are you saying?"

"Well I'm saying I had a bad grudge agist somone. . . It's pretty reisent, But I was mad at him. I guess he had somthing I could never have, But then after what I heard and saw It sounds like he never really had it. So I was pretty much wasting time of living."

I was speachless I almost wanted to put his words to song and sing them back to him.

"What did he have?" i asked nervousley.

Gerard looked back up to the poring sky bucket of tears thrown on the face of the earth. Star tears. "Love. . ."

He had said the word so perfictly casual. That even I was almost taken aback he said it. Wern't guys suposed to be these sex greiving freaks who were just looking for girl friends to quick fuck and find the next living pray? Wern'T THEY!? Maby they all were exept this one. . .

"you wanted somthing like that?"

Gerard nodded. "People are suprised that I'd say somthing like that."

"I was," truth. "I never actually knew you when we saved you." That made Gerard turn right around to face me. the subject felt so far away as if we hadn't talked about the first time I saw him for years. "Your brother Mikey just felt so much concern and well, Love for you It kind of startled me. I've never really cared like that for anyone I know. Thats why I kissed you. To show you I did have compasion I had concern I cared! I wanted to show some one I can be better that I'am worthy of being loved and to love a being" Wow I should sirousley start writing songs Im good at this tell it like it is , Emotionaly, thing. And what made it even better was that it was the truth.

"Thats a good reson." Gerard smiled and looked back up at the sky. Still poring like crazy. Drop by drop soffening the earth. "Holly?"

"Yah Gee?"

"I don't think I've ever met sombody like you."

"Ditto, But you say were the same."

"Well its awkward meeting yourself. . ." He scratched his ear, Think . "I like you."

"I like you too. Gee." I could see invisible weight lift off his shoulders and a smile again trickled across his smeared face.

"We make a pretty good team, Dont we?" He was smiling great. His lips were small and stretched across his wide mouth.

I nodded. "Even though we still haven't found your brother."

Gerard nodded. "He'll show up some where, were just not looking in the right spots."

"I guess you were right about the getting layed thing." I laughed at what i said.

Gerard laughed back. "Yah I guess so, I was still suprised he had the guts to stalk her though."

I laughed, Sborted so loud I was sure Gerard would turn in discust but he snorted too. It was totally by accident and we both laughed or heads off.

"Okay lets find the little brother." I said benieth dying laughter.

"Alright, Here use my coat." Gerard handed me his coat.

I pushed it right back at him. "Gerard don't pretend to be a fucking gentelmen, I know I hate 'em and that means you hate 'emn too. Were the same just differnt people." Throwing the quote back at him too.

Gerard gave me a short You-no-it, look.