"You Can't Stay a Saint in This City"

Amber isn’t picking up and it’s the third and last time I’m trying. She’s never missed one of our Skype sessions. The familiar image of Amber asleep on her sofa as the phone rings and rings crosses my mind. Of course, she’s just jet-lagged. She deserves her rest. It must be all the work she’s been doing with her collection and everything that’s going on that’s wearing her out. I guess there’s always next time.
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“We had dinner,” I say as I inspect my hair in the mirrored surface of my desk.

“Oooh” Greg says as I inspect my hair. I’m going grey at an alarming rate, by my late twenties I’ll probably have to go in for weekly dye jobs. It also doesn’t help that my hair is falling out fast enough that I could make a toupee from whatever’s in my hairbrush. I’m probably going to have to get a wig or a weave or something.

“TMZ is a buzzin’ with your newest relationship with Mike Richards.” Jeff says. Bravo has decided that the conversations Jeff and I have are too good to cut out so he’s basically allowed to talk whenever he wants now.

“Wait, let me see.” Greg says opening up a window on my Macbook.

“Well they also said he played for the Sacramento Kings which shows you how reliable their information is.” I say as I take a bite of my chocolate croissant. I haven’t had one since I brought Milan one to cushion the fall when I told him I wasn’t gay.

“Oh look they have a poll. ‘Definitely clicking more than friends’”

“I’m not dating him, Greg” I say as I close the window.

Jeff raises his eyebrow “Would you like to?”

“Dinner was actually really nice” Mike wasn’t as bad as I thought he’d be, he was actually nice. I can’t remember when someone actually looked like they cared when I had something to say. Certainly not Milan who just pretended that he didn’t hear me when I was talking.

“Oh Amber,” Greg says shaking his head. “Haven’t you learned that boys and girls can’t be just friends.”

“You mean like-”

Greg takes a sip of coffee “Amber, Jeff is married and I’m gay. I really don’t think that applies.”

I’ve never been one to plan ahead. Hell, I decided that I was leaving home and moving to LA all in one week. “Greg I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”

“I hope you have as much time as you think you do” Jeff says as I rumble up my napkin and try to toss it into the garbage can. I miss, of course.

Greg “Amber, I think you should see a doctor about your premature balding. Maybe he can give you some sort of hair growing medicine”

“There’s no actual bald spots. My hair is just falling out.” To be honest I have plenty more to go before anyone actually notices. I’ve never been happier to be born with extremely thick hair which takes me at least two hours to dry.
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The cable guy wasn’t coming until Wednesday so I decided that I could keep Mike company. I also brought the Season 10 box set of South Park which happened to have my favorite episode, Stanley’s Cup. It’s the one where the Detroit Red Wings beat the Colorado Avalanche 32-2 to win the Stanley Cup. Basically that’s why it is my favorite episode.

“I’ve been thinking Ambrosia…” Mike says as we watch the fancy flat screen in his living room.

I’m starting to like the way he says my name. “What is it Mike?” I ask.

“You’re famous now. Why don’t you trade up from some guy you were stupid enough to date in high school?”

I pause and think about the reverse. What if Milan was the one who was more famous and pulled in more money? Under normal circumstances he would be and I’d be devastated if he left me as soon as his first NHL paycheck came along. “Because we’re good together.”

“Just because you can make it work doesn’t mean you have to.” Typical guy mentality.

“I know you hockey players have a tendency to forget the women who stuck by you during your junior years but the reverse isn’t true.” I can’t help but remember when I first saw Brittany; after the Bruins had won the Stanley Cup. All blonde and pretty. Obviously that was exactly what Milan needed to forget me.

“I mean you could date Sidney Crosby.” Mike says it like it’s every Canadians girl’s dream, essentially it is.

“Are you kidding me? He doesn’t want to date me?” And I don’t want to date him.

“Why wouldn’t he? You’re pretty hot…in your own special kind of way” Special good or special bad?

“I’m famous because my workplace is a gong show. I don’t think he’d want to a part of that.” I don’t think anyone would really volunteer themselves for that. I’m lucky I even have a boyfriend.

“Maybe a little excitement is just what the NHL needs. I’m only thinking for the good of this sport.”

I can think of a million reasons why we shouldn’t be together “My favorite team is the Red Wings. I cheered when Johan Franzen gave fucked up Crosby’s knee during the 2009 Cup Finals and cried when the clock ran out in game 6.” Just to name a few.

Mike laughs “Oh I get it, you don’t want to date someone who’s prettier than you.”

I roll my eyes “Yes Mike it is.” I say sarcastically. “I can’t believe my secret is out”

Mike laughs “Did you have any long term relationships in high school?” I ask remembering how Milan literally had a new girl every week but I guess you can’t paint all hockey players with the same brush.

“I did but … I don’t know I guess we just grew apart and wanted different things.” Mike says

“What do you mean?” I ask as Arnold joins us on the couch.

“I don’t know, I just started feeling smothered by her. We were living in Philly and she’d girl up the apartment with vanilla scented candles and these frilly pillows.” Mike explains.

“Really?” I ask. Looking down at the ring on my finger I can’t help sympathize with Mike. “I once lied and said I was dating Steven Stamkos” I’m met with Mike’s laughter and proceed to tell my story.