"You Can't Stay a Saint in This City"

It started with the sound of a car. A car blaring ridiculously loud Bruno Mars. That’s what woke me up. Then I heard his door slam and the crashing of what sounded like a chandelier. I tip toed over to my guest room and looked out the window to check if Mike was alright. I wouldn’t want someone getting murdered at the house next door, I heard that seriously decreased the property value of your house. I kid, I kid.

I didn’t really see anything when I looked outside.

It was like three o’clock in the morning and the street lights weren’t much help. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. But I then I saw the light in one of the bedrooms go on and I see shadowy figures. The street is quiet so I can also hear some muffled speaking. I’m still not sure what’s going on but then my jaw drops. The speaking turns into moaning and the shadowy figures have left the lights on. It doesn’t take too much imagination to read between the lines. I want to leave but I’m too shocked. THEY’RE HAVING SEX LIKE NEXT DOOR. The girls’ name is Ashley as in “God you’re so fucking hot, Ashley” but I could’ve gone without knowing/hearing that.

I can assure you that I never had this issue with the Hendersons. I finally get over it and turn away back into my room. It’s just sex. Everyone does it. Well not really. Not me. At least not regularly. I crawl back into my bed and stare at the ceiling feeling a little more … frustrated. I can still hear the two of them although I can no longer hear words. I just hear noise. It really could be anything. Anything if I didn’t already know. The noise kept constant although the volume varied. I tried everything from stuffing my ears with my noise cancelling Heartbeat by Lady Gaga earbuds to burying my head under the feather pillows and.

I finally gave up and decided that four hours of sleep would be enough for me tonight. Besides the fridge at work was stock full of Red Bulls. It has to be four in the morning when I wake Dolce and Coco to take them out for a run. I’m surprised they haven’t been woken up already because I have been for the last half hour.

I got in my running gear and we ran around the neighbourhood. There weren’t any sidewalks here. I found that really strange at first but I think Greg informed me it was because they were trying to discourage pedestrians from walking around in the nicer neighbourhoods. Half an hour later I came back and the streets were just as quiet as they were before. As I pass his house I wonder if Mike and Ashley are cuddling away on the other side of one of those windows. With the lights on.
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"Oh my god, did you know they’re casting for Real Housewives of Vancouver like right now, I should totally audition” I tell Jeff as I read the Vancouver Sun on my iPad.

“Yeah, except you don’t live in Vancouver anymore” Jeff says as if I do can’t see that from the smog outside my window and the lack of mountains in the background.

I shrug and begin to doodle a hockey player my iPad.

“Coffee?” Juliet, another intern asks as I stencil in Milan’s name on the back of his jersey, right above the 27. In my mind he’d always wear that number.

“You going for a Starbucks, run?” I ask absently as I finish off my doodle.

“Yeah,” Juliet replies smoothing out her skirt, that’s what I love about interns, they’re always eager to impress.

“No but can you get the production crew some Americanos.” I tell her handing over my still-scratch-free American Express Black card from my amethyst colored Prada wallet.

“How many?” she asks taking the card gingerly, as if it isn’t made of titanium.

I try to recall everyone, faces and names “let’s say twenty,” I say but then I realize that there is no way Juliet can carry twenty coffees by herself. I may be demanding but I’m no Anna Wintour. “Bring the other interns everyone needs some fresh air.” I add as Juliet leaves my doorway.

Jeff whistles. “What?” I ask knowing fully well what his whistling is regarding.

“Miss Ambrosia Li, Black card holder” Jeff says with admiration “No offence but how’d you get that?”

I roll my eyes “Do you have any idea how much a year my expenses are? I spend like several tens of millions a year on furniture for my clients.” I reply

“You also probably spend several million a year on clothes and haircuts to keep up appearances.” Jeff replies “but honestly this is mind boggling.”

“What?” I ask “Running a small business is expensive.”

“Do you honestly see yourself as a small business owner?” Jeff asks.

“Of course” Why not? I’m not exactly running a corporation.

“Nice to know that everything is basically a tax write off here.”

“Just things like coffee filters and staplers.” I say, I don’t like to freeload off of people. Especially not American taxpayers.
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“I like the way my jersey looks on you” Milan says.

“Aw thanks” I reply giving him a twirl.

“Are you not wearing any pants?” He asks.

“No, I’m not wearing any pants” I tell him, the jersey practically goes down to my knees. I try to get us back on topic before he suggests I take it off “So why’d you give me this jersey in particular?”

“Because, during that period of time was when I missed you most. I honestly thought about you every day and I wished you were there. It was finally real to me. That you and I were no longer going to be part of each other’s lives.”

“I’m glad that’s changed.” I whisper to him as if it’s a secret.

“Me too.” He says and I’m not sure how much longer I can take of this. I want him. I need him. I’ve never been this codependent but I guess there’s a first for everything.