In A Chokehold

Elena was Elena, as simple as that. There was no right way to describe her, because she was her own person. Once meeting Elena Marshall, it was impossible to forget her blond hair and icy cold blue eyes. Some would even go as far as to say that her eyes were just as cold as her heart was.

There was one person that Elena let in. She let them see past her makeup and blue eyes. He was her best friend - her everything. Usually, Elena was a selfish girl, but for him... she'd do absolutely anything.

He knew her better than she knew herself. He knew what made her tick, what made her smile, what made her happy. He knew just how to break down her walls and he knew how to get through to her. No one else was capable of that, except for John O'Callaghan.

The twenty three year old had been friends with Elena since she had been born, when he was three. He was there for her through everything. He was there when her parents divorced when she was nine, he was there when her favorite animal died when she was ten. He held her hand at the funeral of her grandpa when she was twelve. He was there when her mother passed away, when she was fourteen. He was there for her when her brother killed himself when she was sixteen. He was there when her father kicked her out of the house when she was seventeen.

Through everything, John was there.

When her parents divorced, he bought her ice cream and sat with her while she cried. When Spot died, he helped her with the 'funeral' for the animal. When her grandpa died, he sat with her for hours in her tree house as she relived moments with him. When her mother died, he stayed at her house, cuddling with her as she cried her eyes out and turned into a complete mess. That was the night he realized he was in love with her, despite the three year age difference. When Carter killed himself, he comforted her as best he could - which turned into both of them losing their virginity to each other, after flying all the way from New York to Arizona, since his band had been on tour. And when she got kicked out, he convinced his parents to let Elena move into the house.

He loved her more than words, but he knew they could never be more. After losing her brother, Elena went straight on a down spiral. She lost control and the only time she was sane, was when John was around. Since his band, The Maine, was gaining in popularity, he wasn't around often, due to the tours he went on all the time.

To try and do something to fix her, John convinced his band to bring Elena on tour with them. He knew he needed to watch over her and this was the only way he knew how. Something was seriously damaged in Elena, and he wanted to fix it.

"Elena, can you get my guitar?" Kennedy Brock, guitarist for The Maine, asked her as he tried to hook up the cord for the microphone. He glanced at her, just in time to see her nod her head and stumble off. "Thanks!" he called after her.

Once he knew she was out of ear shot, Kennedy glanced at his friend, who was trying to hook up his microphone. "Damn it," John cursed, groaning as he dropped the cord. He had gotten into a fight with Elena prior to walking into the venue in Nashville, so he wasn't in the best of moods.

"Hey bro, have you talked to her yet?" Kennedy questioned. John shook his head in response. "Don't you think you should? You know if you don't, she's just going to go hook up with some random guy here, like she always does."

Instead of replying to his statement, the twenty three year old just glanced at the drummer, Pat Kirch, asking him to go grab a new microphone from the equipment trailer. "I can't handle it anymore, Ken," John finally said. "I can't handle any of it. I love Elena and I'd do anything for her, she knows that, and she uses it to her advantage. I can't take it. I need... I just need to stop feeling like this towards her. It's not right... right? The only reason I put up with all her shit, is because I love her so much."

"Ken, I couldn't find your green one, but I found the red one!" Elena said loudly as she walked back towards the stage, appearing a few moments later. She stopped short, sensing the tension in the area. "Um... John, can I talk to you? It's important...," she trailed off.

Wiping his hands on his jeans, he nodded and began to follow her into the back room. Once there, he sat down on a couch, pulling the blond girl's small body onto his lap. Even though he was upset with her, he still felt the need to be close to her. He was all she had left. "What's up, El?"

"I'm sorry," she said honestly. Elena never apologized to anyone, but John. He was the only person that meant that much to her, that she felt the need to apologize. "I don't... I don't mean to be such a pain in your ass. I just... I don't know what to do, John. I'm so used to you telling me what to do and how to do it, and when you told me that you didn't know what I should do about Blake, I just lost it. I need you telling me what to do with my life."

His hands pulled at her waist, shifting her on his lap. "I know, but love, I'm not always gonna be here. I can't hold your hand through everything. We've been through some tough shit together and I get that you need me, because I need you too, but I just, I can't do everything for you." She nodded slowly. John held his pinky finger up, waiting for her to lace her own with his. "Promise me that you'll try to handle things on your own. I don't mind you coming to be sometimes, but not all the time. And promise me that you won't go crazy on me again."

Elena smiled at him. "I promise."

Leaning forward, she kissed him, like she often did. To Elena, it was just a friendly kiss. She didn't know that it meant so much more to John, or at least that's what he thought.

"Why do you do that?" he asked her softly. "Why do you always kiss me? You don't kiss anyone else."

Shrugging, she kissed him again. "Because you're everything to me, John. I don't kiss anyone else because I've never kissed any of them before. We've had sex, and not just once. We're way past that whole just hugging or kiss on the cheek thing." He nodded his head, saying that he understood. "And... I love you. You know I love you."

"I love you, too, Elena."

That night, while watching the show, Elena had far too much to drink. By the time the boys were all off stage, she had been extremely wasted. Usually, she wasn't extremely sloppy drunk, but she was that night. She was bad and she knew that, but it was too late to change it.

"Did you like the show, Elena?" Pat asked, just as he did every night.

She nodded, pulling on John's hand. She called to the boys that they'd be right back. Elena led John through a hallway and to a back room. Once the door was closed, she threw herself at John, kissing him as hard as she could. He deepened the kiss, pulling her thin body flush against his. Her hands went to his upper chest, pulling on the shirt he had on, trying to undo the buttons.

"What... what are you doing, El?" John asked, trying to pull her hands from him.

She let go of his chest, satisfied with the un-done buttons, and moved to his jeans, starting to pull the belt from it's loops. "John... just relax," she murmured to him, letting the belt fall to the floor. He tried to push her away, but she was making him feel good and he couldn't find it in him to make her stop. "You know, I know that you're in love with me. I hear you and Kenny all the time. I... I'm flattered, John."

John sighed as she pushed his jeans down. He knew she was drunk. Despite her ability to talk completely normal while completely drunk, John still knew. "Elena... this isn't right."

She ignored him, slipping her pointer finger under the waistband of his boxer briefs. "You should know that I'm so in love with you, John. You're the only one who gets me and that's why I need you... because I love you so much."

Falling to her knees, Elena licked her lips. She looked up at him through her lidded eyes, smiling. "You... you're in love with me?" he asked, watching as she tugged down his briefs. The nail of her finger scraped against his length, making him shudder and moan. John watched as she nodded, which made him stop. "Elena, stop."

"Stop?" she asked, laughing. "John, stopping me is the furthest thing from your mind."

He shook his head. "This shouldn't happen this way. Just... just stop."

Quickly, Elena stood up. As she did, John pulled his briefs and jeans back up. "You're pathetic, John," she hissed. "You think I'm in love with you? You're so wrong. I needed a quick fuck and you're the closest thing. You wouldn't have sex with me any other way."

Hurt crippled all through John, shattering his head. "You don't mean that."

Shrugging, she made her way to the door, leaving the room.

~

"She hasn't called yet?" Garrett Nickelsen, bassist for The Maine asked, glancing at John.

He shook his head, looking down at his phone once more. "God, I'm such an idiot to let this happen. I should've known. She's been acting different and this is just the topping to it all."

"Ken says that she does this often... John, what all is wrong with Elena?"

Sighing, he moved to sit on the curb of the empty road. Garrett followed his actions, checking the time on his watch. He knew that Max would be pissed that they would miss bus call, but at the moment, none of them cared if they were late to the next venue or not.

"She went through a lot as a kid. Her parents divorced when she was young, her grandpa died and she was really close with him. Then her mom died. Then her brother committed suicide. Elena was really close with Carter. He was the only person she opened up to, besides me. Once he died, she lost it completely. Her dad kicked her out a year later," John looked down at his hands, sighing again. "She struggles with alcoholism, drug abuse, anorexia, bulimia, and depression. She's supposed to take her medication, but since she drinks so much and does drugs a lot, she doesn't take her meds when she should, so she gets depressed. When she gets depressed, she drinks even more. When that happens, she becomes this... this entire different person - the girl she was tonight and the past few days.

"Kennedy is right, she's done this before. The whole thing - even the seducing me part. She doesn't get that it hurts me, because she doesn't see it as doing wrong. I should've noticed that she hasn't been eating and if I do get her eat, she goes to the bathroom after. She's not well, Gare. Don't get me wrong, she's not a complete psycho, she just has problems and with everything she's been through, it's understandable."

At his confessions about Elena, Garrett's eyes widened. He knew bits and pieces, but he didn't know the full extent to everything. It amazed him that someone like Elena, was so broken, but always appeared so put together. "I feel like if I can't find her," John continued, "she's might do something crazy."

He stood up again, glancing around the corner. "We'll find her," Garrett said.

"You're right," John replied. "Who am I kidding? This is Elena we're talking about. She... she'll be fine."

Around four in the morning, Garrett convinced John to go back and check the bus, to see if she was there. It took awhile, because John was convinced that Tim would call if she got back, like he was supposed to.

When they got there, they found out that Elena, in fact, was back on the bus. She had begged Tim not to call anyone, so he didn't. To be honest, she looked like a complete mess.

Upon seeing John, she burst into tears, flinging herself at him. She repeated that she was sorry, so sorry. His arms wrapped around her body, holding her close while he told Garrett to call everyone else and get them back so they could hit the road.

"I'm so sorry, John," Elena cried into his chest. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

As she repeated the words, he told her that it was okay - that it was alright. "Elena, it's okay," he murmured again, setting her on his lap once he sat down.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't do this by myself, I need you."

Nodding, John kissed the top of her head. "I'll help you figure everything out, okay? 'Lena, it's you and me, alright? We'll get you through everything. Through the drinking, the drugs... all of it."

"How?" she asked softly, letting her forehead fall to his neck as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I can't be fixed, John, I'm too broken."

"Never, love. We'll start with cutting down on drinking and no more drugs, alright? Then we'll tackle eating and after that, we'll continue with your depression. I'm not leaving you, not ever. We can start all over, from the beginning."

She nodded at his answer. "I love you, John. I really, really love you. I lied earlier when I said I didn't. I want to be with you."

After placing a soft kiss to her lips, John smiled. "After we fix you, we'll work on us, okay? We'll work on being together. But right now, we need to help you. A new start...." he said.

"It feels like coming home," she laughed. "Like when you come home from tour... a new start on us, on everything."

"On everything," John repeated.