Invisible Scars

I got up early- well okay about like 9:30am, i had a hair dressers appointment, because tomorrow was the first day of high school and i wanted my hair to look good. i'm not feeling well when i first wake up, but thats just because its "that time of the month" again. anyways other then almost being late everything is going good. we get into the hair dressers and my mom explains to them that i had gotten lice for a little while but it was gone now. because its a hair salon they have to check my hair so just in case i dont infect anyone. They find a white speck(dandriff) but think its a lice so they say they cant do my hair. mom is furious.

we buy a shampoo (for $20 damnnnnn!!!) then we left, before we walked out of there i thought to myself 'let the hell begin', and it did. my mom kept telling me "dont worry about it, everything will be fine, no need to worry" but she was really only saying that to herself, to keep from exploding; which i guess didnt work... She told me she was stopping at bob's and she was just returning something- then she said we would go to another store so i could pick out a top for school (which i hate shopping so i knew it wouldnt be fun) when we got to bob's the hell started. i asked if i could just wait in the car- so then we could to the other store. she screamed "no your coming in here whether you want to or not you will do what i say. i cant believe you embaressed me like that at the hair dressers, you know its all your fault" i didnt understand how- one speck of dandriff i mean common everyone has one speck... anyways i said "how is it my fault i didnt have dandriff b4 we started doing the treatments for the lice!"(which was true. i didnt have any bc i always picked at my head til it bled so there was nothing left to cause it, it was kinda like my version of cutting, without the blade, and no one could see it on my head because i was so tall) anyways i start to walk towards bob's my mom screams "kimberly look at me" i yell back what, forgetting i was in public, people looked but didnt stare. i ignored her til we got into the store to save myself some embarressment. when we got in she told me to go look for some shirts- i couldnt hold back the tears any longer, i was crying and tired to act normal. i cleaned myself up a bit and stood against a wall, i just stood there. and didnt move, luckily i had backpacks next to me and one caught my eye, i figured finding a backpack might get her off my back for a little while.

** skip to after i find a shirt- thats not really where the hell is***

we get home, my brother told me to look in his desk- theres a note- telling me how proud he is of me- i dont know if it was just bc i was already sad or bc im just a sappy person, but i started crying while reading it, then i wrote a poem about it, i put it online, and mom started yelling at me again. she was screaming.... i cant- or maybe i dont want to remeber the words she used, but she said "im out i give up on you, you suck" she slammed the black door closed, and i stood outside- i went down the steps of the porch and sat down, i started to uncontrollbly cry. i couldnt help it, i could sware she hated me. after crying for about 30min i just sat there and thought about what i did to deserve this, i didnt understand. 30min later she came back outside, acted like nothing happened, and ....

**I'M SORRY, I CANT SEE THE KEYBOARD- MY EYES ARE GETTING BLURRY, IM CRYING, I'LL FINISH THIS HOPEFULLY TOMORROW, SORRY. I JUST CANT WRITE ANYMORE*** ='(