A Dream to Remember

(Los Angeles, California)

A beam of sunlight from the otherwise dark room fell upon my face. The warmth and light were comforting at first, but soon became annoying as the intensity grew greater. The freezing air shocked me as I abandoned the warmth from under the battered quilt. I scrambled to pull on a pair of jeans and hoodie before I became frozen solid. I slipped into my sneakers and grabbed my bag for school.

Beer bottles and smoke filled the living room. My mother was passed out on the couch, a bottle of gin in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I sighed and pulled the covers over her. She must have been freezing, though the alcohol in her system probably kept her warm. I looked around for the cause of the freezing house. It was the middle of October in LA. Cold was not part of the plan. I found the AC had been pushed all the way down. “Shit…” I muttered and bumped it up to a nice temperature.

My stomach growled like the unwelcome friend it was. My eyes subconsciously went to the refrigerator. I knew it was empty, but I hoped to find some food. It was empty as I expected. A freezer of alcohol was all I found. I sighed and walked out into the sunshine. I smiled the second the light in my face. I looked back at the black hole I called a home. If only it didn’t constantly suck me in from this perfect, beautiful world. I made my way calmly to the bus stop trying to forget my life.

“Well, look who we have here.” I shifted my bag and smiled at the man leaning against the stop sign that indicated where the bus would pick me up for school.

“Hi, Mr. Williams.”

“Ugh, I wish. Dude, what are you even doing going to school. Don’t you have better things to do? I mean I told your mom she needed to pay up.”

“She’s been busy.”

“Listen, Sky, if it weren’t for you, your mama woulda been out on her ass a long time ago. I like you. You’re a good kid. You stay outta trouble and study hard despite the cards you’ve been dealt. But…I haven’t got my money in six months. I gotta feed my family, ya know?” I nodded.

“I’ll let her know.”

“Listen kid, if your mama don’t pay up, I’m evicting the lot of ya. But here’s where I’m gonna be the nice Christian man that I was raised to be. That happens, you can come live with me and the family. I know you love your mama, but boy, that woman is supposed to be takin’ care of you, not getting piss drunk and bringing the wrong lot around. You ain’t supposed to take care of your mama.”

“Sir, I can’t leave her. She…she’s sick.”

“Damn, Sky…how old are you?”

“Just turned sixteen yesterday.”

“Hm…what’d your mama and her old man get ya?”

“Nothing sir. She…she, uh, didn’t remember.” I shifted my eyes wishing for the bus to come and take me away. I loved Mr. Williams. He was the only landlord that ever let us go so long without paying rent. He also always let us come back when my mom got beat up by her boyfriend and she had nowhere to stay. He was a good man, but I couldn’t stand that he called the police on my mom so much to get me taken away. I knew he had good intentions, but sometimes people need to just butt out.

“What’d you eat?”

“My friends took me for pizza.” Mr. Williams shook his head. My stomach growled and I hugged myself hoping he hadn’t heard.

“Sky, you wanna work for me? You can help me out. Just paint some walls and hammer some nails. I wanna help you out.”

“Thank you.” He handing me a brown paper bag as the bus pulled up. The smell of breakfast tacos wafted out to my nose.

“Here kid.” I smiled and thanked him before boarding my bus.

I found a seat in the back, ignoring the snickers and whispers of the others on the bus. It wasn’t really a mystery that my mother was a drunken addict. People laughed that I only had two changes of clothes and always was getting handouts. It was really messed up, but I always kept a smile on my face. It helped me through a lot. How can you be sad when you’re happy? I never felt that having the newest gadget or whatever was that important. What was important was that I had a house. I had friends. I had people who wanted to see me succeed beyond my means.

“Skyla!” My best friend Sasha sang as she boarded the bus. She had her bright pink and green hair pulled into two pigtails. Her punk look was so perfected she even made herself sleeves of tattoos out of the temps. Her parents refused to let her get real ink until she was eighteen. “How’s my girl?” She asked hugging me. “Little Skyla’s gotten some tacos I see. Don’t mind if I do.” She grabbed one. I laughed.

Sasha and I met in kindergarten. She had snack, I stole it. She had markers, I took those too. I took so many things from her and was always getting in trouble. It was the main reason the cops had found out about my mom. I was in foster care for two years before I was able to be back with my mom. She had fulfilled her end of the bargain. There were in total five times in the last ten years I was put in foster care. I hated foster care. I’d rather take my mother drugged out or drunk or see her getting fucked by whatever guy she was with at the time than be passed around.

“Mr. Williams is going to evict us.” I said taking a bite from my taco.

“What?” I stared at me with sympathetic eyes. “You can live with me. My parents love you, Skylar.”

“Thanks, but I can’t leave my mom.” Sasha kicked the empty seat in front of her and glared at her boot.

“Fuck it, Sky. She doesn’t care about you. When will you understand that you deserve so much better than that woman? When will you understand that the world gets people like you so very rarely that when you come around, you don’t need to deal with that.”

“Sasha, my mother loves me. You should see the way she cries when the police take me away.” I knew it was a lie. She usually was too high or drunk to even comprehend it. She would usually say something along the lines of ‘take the little fucker’, but I wasn’t about to tell anyone that.

Sasha looked out the window then back at me. “It’s because you’re gay right?”

“What? What’s that have to do with my mom?”

“Well, all guys love their mom. Gay guys love their mom even more.”

“That’s a stereotype.”

“Where do you think stereotypes come from? The truth! If you don’t want to admit it, fine. But you are coming over tonight. You’re spent your birthday with awful people. I mean sure, me and the posse took you out, but it’s not enough. You are coming over tonight.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Fuck that! She’s not gonna fucking care! She’ll be too stoned or drunk to remember anyway.” I sighed.

“Fine.”

“Sweet! I can’t wait! This is going to be the best weekend ever! Joel says he can come too!” She smiled and hugged me tightly. “I’ll have my dad stop by your house so you can get your things.”

“Okay.” I felt bad leaving my mom, but it was only for a couple days. She wouldn’t even notice I wasn’t there. I still couldn’t help but to wonder who would cover her up when it was cold or who would make her food or who would clean up the mess.

The bus pulled up to the school and Sasha and I hopped off. We found Joel sitting on the fountain reading a book. His dark purple hair fell perfectly around his face. His slender, fit body filled out his black jeans and shirt perfectly. “What are you reading, my love?” Sasha asked as she plopped next to him.

“Just a book.” He smiled at her and looked up at me with his big, blue eyes. “Are you coming tonight, Sky?”

“Yeah.” I hugged myself and smiled. I had a huge crush on Joel. He was so cute! He never talked about people he liked and though he was my best friend, I didn’t know if he was gay or straight. I felt something wet hit my back and heard some jerks yell homophobic comments. Sasha jumped up and started yelling.

“Hey asshole, you want to mess with my best friend, I’ll mess you up!” She ran toward them. I just stood there scared to know what they’d thrown at me. I was holding my breath. Joel took my hand and led me to the bathroom. The second we got in, I looked at Joel.

“What is it?” He glanced at the sink then at me.

“Don’t worry. It’s only chocolate milk this time.” I breathed a sigh of relief before letting the first tear fall. Joel brushed the tear off my cheek.

“I don’t have a change of clothes. I don’t know why people do this, Joel. I don’t do anything to anyone!”

“I know. People are assholes.” He wet a paper towel and started cleaning my back. I brushed the tears away and put my smile back on. Life was too short to worry about douche bags. Joel stared at me with this funny look on his face. I’d never been kissed before, but he looked the way people do before their first kiss. That sort of nervous, yet excited look, eyes filled with affection. I felt the butterflies dancing in the pit of my stomach. My heart started to pound and my palms go sweaty.

“You ready to go to class?” I nodded a little let down. I wondered what it’d be like to kiss Joel. I wondered if he was a good kisser. He probably had soft lips.

The only person I had ever kissed, which didn’t count since we were eight, was Sasha. We were playing house and we were getting married. I wished things were as simple as they were when I was little.

Sasha stared at me as Joel and I walked into class. “You okay?” She asked as I sat down behind her. Joel took his seat at the front by the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said not taking my eyes off Joel. He was laughing at something the girl behind him was saying.

“You like Joel, don’t you?”

“What? No, of course I don’t like him.” I forced a laugh and wanted to shoot myself at how fake it sounded.

“I think you guys make a cute couple. Go for it.”

“It’s not that easy, Sash.”

“I went for it plenty of times.”

“Well you know what, it’s not easy for me to just go for it. You can go after any guy you want without having to worry if you’re going to get hit. You can look at anyone without risking being beat up. You don’t understand how hard it is for me to just go for it. The worst thing that can happen to you is you get rejected.” Sasha sighed.

“Do you really think Joel’s going to hurt you if he’s not into you? I mean nobody knows what Joel is. Hell, he could be asexual for all we know. It’s not some random guy, Sky. It’s Joel. He loves you.” My eyes wandered back to Joel. He was so perfect. He smiled at me. I smiled back.

“How do you go for it?” I whispered to Sasha. She smiled knowing at me.

“I’ve got something up my sleeve.” She turned around without saying another word.