Vice Versa

Alice skipped through a cobbled path, wooden shingled houses flying past her with a whoosh. Orange sand started to fill in the cracks between the cobbled bricks and soon covered the path completely. Alice looked up to find that she was in a desert. Hot wind swished around her, making her blonde hair float in the wind.

Wait, she had blonde hair. She pulled her hair to her face. It was definitely her hair. She looked down to herself to find that she was in her own petite body. Tits and all. She was dressed in a plain white dress that billowed around her knees. She grinned in joy. She finally had her own body. Everything was like home. It was just as if she had a long holiday away from her body. She skipped and spun around in delight, basking in the feel of her own body.

She stumbled to a stop to find that she was nose to nose to a strange man. He was wearing a brown tweed coat and a bowler hat. He had dark bushy eyebrows and a handlebar moustache. It was such a sight because they were in the middle of a desert. An enormous gust of wind blew off the strange man’s hat. His dark brown curls fluttered in the breeze.

He was still silent, observing Alice. He paid no attention to his lost hat.

“Hello?” Alice asked the peculiar man.

“You need to eat your chicken wings. I must go now.” He announced before turning his back to leave.

“Wait!” Alice yelled, trying to stall the man. However he faded into the sands in the wind. Alice sighed in despair. She was all alone in this empty arid place. What would she do now?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Alice searched around her frantically. What was this strange beeping noise?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Alice cracked open her eyes. The first thing she saw was the plain white ceiling in Brian’s room. She could feel Michelle’s arms wrapped around her torso. She glanced down to her body. She groaned in disappointment. Great. She was still in Brian’s body. She had hoped she would return to her own body after the dream.

“Can you please turn off the phone?” Michelle’s muted murmur sounded from Alice’s chest. The beeping was from her vibrating phone. She groaned as her hand scrabbled blindly to the bedside table before picking up her phone. The screen said “Envy”. Alice rolled her eyes.

“Let me get up. I have to take this call.” Alice grunted to Michelle. The sleeping woman made no response. Alice slid out from the bed, careful to not waking up Michelle. She accepted the call.

“Oh my God. Where the fuck are you?” Envy’s frantic voice panted. Alice gasped. She had completely forgotten her best friend since she first met up with Brian.

“Chill, I’m alive. It’s not like I’m lying dead in a ditch.” she replied.

“Who are you?” Envy sounded apprehensive. Alice forgot that she also sounded like Brian.

“It’s Alice. I’m still in Brian’s body.”

“Oh! Okay… well, it had been two fucking weeks.” Envy’s voice was sharp with sarcasm. Yep. It was two weeks since the initial body swap. A week since Zacky’s announcement about the tour. Alice couldn’t believe how time had gone past so quickly.

“So…?” Alice said.

“So?! You should have swapped back by then or something.”

“I tried seeing the person who switched us. She said that we had to figure it out ourselves. No breakthrough.”

“That’s shit.”

“Way.”

“Who are you talking to?” Michelle’s voice piped up in the background. Alice turned around to face the woman in the bed. Her body was swaying on the mattress, the sheets shifting.

"I need to arrange some shit.”

“Sure.” Michelle raised her eyebrow. Alice sighed. She was persistent.

“Alice’s friend is gonna come over for a bit.”

“Oh… okay.”

“Hold on a sec, okay?” Alice raised her large hand to Michelle. She was starting to get good at acting as Brian. Alice strolled out of Brian’s room, reattaching her phone to her ear.

“Sorry about that, Envs. It’s Brian’s wife.” Alice apologised.

“Does she know about the body switch?”

“Um… no.”

“Well, shit.”

“Yeah…” Alice zoned down to the floor after she heard a scuttle of claws against wood. Here came Tholomew. He screeched to a stop and sat in front of Alice. He craned his head up to her body. Suddenly his eyes became as wide as saucers, seemingly horrified before scampering off. He made retching sounds. Alice was confused.

“What was that?” Envy murmured through the phone.

“It’s the cat.” Alice quickly replied.

“Brian has a cat?”

“No. He has a dog.”

“Whoa, wait. Does he have a cat but doesn’t have a dog?”

“No, no, I mean he has a dog, but not a cat.”

“But you said it was the cat in the background.”

“It was a cat. But it wasn’t Brian’s.”

“Whoa, whoa. Don’t you dare go flashing my crown jewels to the world.” Brian’s high voice piped. He stood at the end of the hall, his slender arms folded and eyebrow raised. Alice looked down to see that she was indeed naked. It must have been the reason of Tholomew’s reaction.

“That voice sounds more like you, Alice.” Envy said from the phone. Alice was confused by the influx of attention from both Envy and Brian. She stuttered to sort it out.

“Brian, just wait, I need to sort out some shit.” Alice said directly to Brian who shrugged acceptingly. Alice redirected her attention to her phone.

“Come over my house, bitch. And we will sort out this.” Envy demanded.

“Fine, slut. Actually, it’s better if you come over here.”

“Fine, whore. Address?” the woman in the phone asked. Alice answered with Brian’s address and they ended the call. She turned to Brian, who was leaning on the doorframe with a bored expression on his face.

“You talk to your best friend like that all the time?” he said.

“Yeah. We insult each other, describe our bowel movements and decide which guy has the biggest dick.”

“Don’t remind me.” Brian grimaced. What Alice said made him remember the conversations the girls made at the spa. He utterly wished that he could forget what they were talking about. He had decided he never needed to know what girls say to each other.

“Despite that I like looking at my own beautiful body; can you please put some pants on?” Brian finished. Alice quickly glanced upon herself before disappearing in Brian’s room in search for a pair of pants and to get ready for Envy.