Vice Versa

Tholomew silently slinked around the furniture in the spare bed. It was night, so every nook and cranny was shrouded in shadows. He reached to the dark bed. He vaulted himself upon it. The cat could see Brian’s slumbering face. He slowly padded to his face, circling it. Brian gave an enormous sniff in his sleep. Jimmy pressed a paw to his face, attempting to wake him up.

Sleepily, Brian waved him away before turning around in the bed. Jimmy wasn’t going to be discouraged, so he relentlessly walked all over Brian’s face before he angrily sat up. He started at the cat sitting next to him, his petite nostrils flaring in anger.

“Why don’t you fuckin’ wake me up at a better fuckin’ time?” he hissed.

“It’s 4am. We need to talk.” Jimmy sharply replied, already had enough with Brian’s fluctuating temper.

“Talk, then.”

“You need to make up with Alice. No excuses or exceptions.” His voice was stern. Brian groaned.

“She doesn’t deserve the forgiveness. She fucking embarrassed me in front of everyone!”

“I know. But technically, she was embarrassed. Everyone saw you as Alice, not yourself. She will have a lot more to deal with when she is back in her body. Also, this won’t solve unless you forgive her.”

“You mean I won’t be in my own body if I don’t hate her?” The human raised his eyebrow.

“Yep.” Jimmy nodded. “You would be in that body forever. I mean forever. Until you die…”

“Not if I shoot myself.”

“No! Don’t! This won’t help the situation either! Your souls are trapped, no way out but this one.”

“But you said-“

“I meant that when you both die! I don’t want you to die! I’m here to help, not fucking urge you to kill yourself!”

Brian looked down at the darkened duvet, depressed. He shook his head slowly.

“Everybody hates me. My own wife is giving me the squinty eyes every time I’m around. I’m in the wrong body. My vagina is bleeding and god knows how long until it stops. I have every-“ he murmured before being interrupted by the talking cat.

“Talk to Alice. You both need it.”

“Do I have to…?” Brian stretched out the last word, rolling his eyes in a pleading manner.

“Yes. Besides, your period finishes tomorrow.”

“How do you even know that shit?”

“I’m a fuckin’ magical talking cat. Don’t ask.” Jimmy leapt off the bed and led Brian to his actual bedroom where Alice and Michelle slept. Brian opened the door as quietly as he could and peeked around the door.

The curtains were fluttering in the slight breeze that the partially opened window offered. The moonlight illuminated the bed where two lumps on it lay. They were as far apart as the bed would allow them. Brian thought it was great for a number of reasons. One, he wouldn’t have to deal with accidentally waking up Michelle. Second, Michelle was his wife. He didn’t like seeing her with someone else. Lastly, he reckoned that Alice deserved the total wrath that Michelle had brandished.

He crept to the bed and poked at Alice’s side. She squirmed on the bed, making it wobble a bit. He froze, his eyes moving over to Michelle’s sleeping form. She didn’t move. He proceeded to his mission. He shook Alice once again, thanking the heavens that he didn’t buy a waterbed.

“Wake up, goddamn it. Jimmy made me do it.” He hissed in her ear, jerking her awake.

“You’re talking!” Alice sat up on the bed, shocked that Brian decided to drop the silent treatment. Brian hushed her, eyes flicking to Michelle who hadn’t stirred a bit.

“We need to talk. Jimmy made me do it.” Brian whispered.

“I know, you said that.” Alice finally lowered her voice.

“Let’s get out of here. I don’t want to wake up Michelle.”

“Okay.” With Alice’s final word, they got set to getting out from the bedroom. They climbed downstairs and went outside. Brian was still itching for a smoke. He would feel so much better when he had a Marlboro in between his fingers. He voiced his wish to Alice. But to his dismay, he was responded with a tight-lipped shake of her head.

“Why? Your - my - your lungs are just as black as this!” Brian gestured around him, indicating the pitch black night scenery outdoors.

“This is why I don’t want mine to match yours or end up singing depressing country songs in the cancer ward with you.” Something about her comment made him laugh and that melted away his steeled armour of rage against her.

“Aw… you wouldn’t go with me? Can’t hurt with a friend with me when I’m all hairless.” Brian said with a joking voice and he gave a smile. Alice tentatively gave a small smile back.

“I’m sorry for showing you up.” She said meekly.

“Apology accepted. I just want this over, y’know. I know you want this over as much as I do.” Brian dismissed her apology and settled back down on the porch chair. Alice followed suit as Tholomew scurried from behind them and leaped on the couch.

“Kiss and made up yet?” he gave a feline smile, panning his head from Alice to Brian.

“We made up.” Brian shrugged.

“I want you to kiss and make up.” Jimmy shook his head, his tone persistent.

“Ew, kiss Alice?” he crinkled his face.

“Oh for fuckin’ devil’s sake, just hug.” The cat rolled his eyes. Alice flicked her eyes to Brian.

“Do it.” Jimmy added. Alice shrugged and stood up, offering her arms to Brian. He stood up and accepted her hug. It felt strange, hugging his own body. It was large, muscular and tall. He was used to hugging smaller people. However the change was peculiar, for some reason, he liked it. He liked the outside perspective he had. He liked seeing how people react to his body, despite that he was so often ignored during the swap. A little holiday from myself couldn’t hurt, he thought.

Alice in turn, felt her own fragile body against her large borrowed body. That, as being borrowed, it felt almost like her own. She was becoming so used to it. She never knew that being somebody else could offer her so much. She met more people, saw more places, learnt more things, apart from herself. At her home in Long Beach, there wasn’t much for her to look into other than herself. Now, she wanted to break free and actually go out into the world, like she was supposed to be.

Suddenly, within their embrace, a jolt of electricity surged through them. They broke apart, mystified on what happened. They stared at each other, trying to spot what was different. They saw nothing. So their heads turned to Jimmy. He was still nestled on the porch couch. But he had a large smile, the meaning mysterious and secret, however jubilant and proud.

“What was that?” Brian quirked an eyebrow.

“What was what? Nothing. Just get to bed.” Jimmy dismissed, still keeping the enigmatic grin. The two humans rolled their eyes and drudged back upstairs to bed.