Status: I'll try to update at least every day or every other day :)
Fortune Cookies
an unfortunate turn of events.
"Sweetheart?"
"Yes mumma?"
"Would it be possible for you to place your tush at the kitchen table?"
"I dunno, mumma. My tush feels quite comfortable on my beanbag."
"Baby, come down. Now."
Oh crabcakes.
"But mumma, I've only got three more chapters!"
"Yes, and I bet those three chapters are the size of Mount Everest. So, tush, down, now."
"Ugh, mumma!"
I'd slam open my door, but I'm not entirely sure how that works. I'm much better at the opposite, you know, slamming it shut. So I settled with stomping down the stairs like an African elephant.
"Snookums, you're not an African elephant, so would you please stop stomping down the stairs?"
What?! How did she know?! Garr, mother's and their supposed psychic powers. Dangnabbit, I want psychic powers. Then maybe I could avoid all those -
"Ah, there's my little African elephant. Come, sit baby."
I shoved my tush into the chair she'd pushed out for me and pouted.
"Oh sweetheart, all I want to tell you is good news! Don't pout, you're much too adorable when you do!"
A wave of smugness swept over me and I lessened the poutiness.
"So, do you remember way back when, when we used to live up in the apartment building in Brushwood?"
"We still live in Brushwood mumma."
"Well, yes, but on the outskirts now..."
"What? Mumma I can't understand your mumbling."
"Oh, it's nothing, but do you remember?"
"Yes, mumma."
"Remember Mrs. Cooper?"
Eh? Who's Mrs. Cooper? Sounds like an old lady with loads of cats...or something.
"Mrs. Cooper? James' mum?"
Eh? Who's Ja- Oh gods. Oh no. Oh please no. Please don't let -
"Ah ha! I knew it. I knew you'd remember little Jamesie!"
"What?! I have no idea what and who you're talking about!"
"Oh come on Cay, you remember James? You two were the bestest of friends! So cute together, you two were."
Stop sighing like that, garr! James. Yes, fine, I remember James. We were the bestest of friends and he lived next-door, and I had the biggest-arse crush on him.
He's now probably one of those kids in school who shove me into lockers, stick my head in the toilets, and throw their chocolate pudding at the back of my head because they just feel like it.
Oh, I remember James.
"Isn't it the best thing, Cay?"
What? "What?"
"That they're moving back here! Just across the street in fact! Oh, I was so ecstatic when Lucy called, I -"
I never swear but... Fack. (Oh, it's close enough!)
"Yes mumma?"
"Would it be possible for you to place your tush at the kitchen table?"
"I dunno, mumma. My tush feels quite comfortable on my beanbag."
"Baby, come down. Now."
Oh crabcakes.
"But mumma, I've only got three more chapters!"
"Yes, and I bet those three chapters are the size of Mount Everest. So, tush, down, now."
"Ugh, mumma!"
I'd slam open my door, but I'm not entirely sure how that works. I'm much better at the opposite, you know, slamming it shut. So I settled with stomping down the stairs like an African elephant.
"Snookums, you're not an African elephant, so would you please stop stomping down the stairs?"
What?! How did she know?! Garr, mother's and their supposed psychic powers. Dangnabbit, I want psychic powers. Then maybe I could avoid all those -
"Ah, there's my little African elephant. Come, sit baby."
I shoved my tush into the chair she'd pushed out for me and pouted.
"Oh sweetheart, all I want to tell you is good news! Don't pout, you're much too adorable when you do!"
A wave of smugness swept over me and I lessened the poutiness.
"So, do you remember way back when, when we used to live up in the apartment building in Brushwood?"
"We still live in Brushwood mumma."
"Well, yes, but on the outskirts now..."
"What? Mumma I can't understand your mumbling."
"Oh, it's nothing, but do you remember?"
"Yes, mumma."
"Remember Mrs. Cooper?"
Eh? Who's Mrs. Cooper? Sounds like an old lady with loads of cats...or something.
"Mrs. Cooper? James' mum?"
Eh? Who's Ja- Oh gods. Oh no. Oh please no. Please don't let -
"Ah ha! I knew it. I knew you'd remember little Jamesie!"
"What?! I have no idea what and who you're talking about!"
"Oh come on Cay, you remember James? You two were the bestest of friends! So cute together, you two were."
Stop sighing like that, garr! James. Yes, fine, I remember James. We were the bestest of friends and he lived next-door, and I had the biggest-arse crush on him.
He's now probably one of those kids in school who shove me into lockers, stick my head in the toilets, and throw their chocolate pudding at the back of my head because they just feel like it.
Oh, I remember James.
"Isn't it the best thing, Cay?"
What? "What?"
"That they're moving back here! Just across the street in fact! Oh, I was so ecstatic when Lucy called, I -"
I never swear but... Fack. (Oh, it's close enough!)
♠ ♠ ♠
skdljfsakfjd; thoughts?