Caught Like A Fly

All of the bands were stopped at a big park about three quarters of the way to the next town, meaning we had another six hours to drive, and the sun was going to set in the next couple of hours. We were the last band to show up, and I had to fight the urge to run to Andy when I saw her. She was attempting to throw a football and failing miserably. Strangely enough, Connor and Ally were nowhere to be seen. I waved to Andy, who was beaming and being as radiant as ever, making it even harder for me to resist that eager yearning in my chest. No, I had to find Connor first. This needed to be done.

"Alright, you ugly prick, where are you...?" I mumbled to myself, wandering from the field to the clusters of trees. I wasn't exactly stealthy, but when I heard voices I crouched down and stayed as still as I could.

"Ally, please," that was definitely Connor. "Don't go."

"You keep going back to her," said the rainbow girl. My heart was thumping so loudly in my head I almost missed their conversation. I had a feeling this was going to be important. "Why can't you just let Jacky have her? He actually wants her." My stomach started doing flips. This was a very coincidental situation.

"No!" he shouted, turning back towards her. "You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't," she retorted, folding her arms. "Enlighten me."

"She's beautiful, she's talented, she is my best friend...I can't let her get away."

"Then you're letting me get away," she said, sounding hurt. "I fucking waited for you, Connor, ever since we met on your last tour. This isn't fair."

He didn't say anything and started kissing her instead. My heart stopped thumping and dropped to the ground. Connor was cheating on Andy, and has been since their last tour. Things between Ally and Connor started getting heated, so I found my way back to the field.

I couldn't decide whether I was excited, sad or disgusted. I was excited that Andy was pretty much within my grasp and I could do whatever I wanted to her without a drop of guilt. I was sad that she was being cheated on, and that I didn't find out sooner. I was disgusted at how they talked about her like she was some kind of toy or trophy, something to be thrown around and dealt with, not a person with feelings and a life.

She was where I left her, throwing a football much better than she had been earlier. She sloppily tossed the oblong ball to a guy I didn't recognize and swayed over to me, grinning as wide as ever.

"Hey there," she said, her hands going to my chest and trailing up and down my sides. "You look...thoughtful." Where her fingertips touched were lines of fire, and I was reminded of the days of unintended abstinence, which only made matters worse. She kept up her seductive little antics for a few more minutes and that was it for me.

"I can't fucking take this anymore," I growled, and pulled her face to me and started kissing her like I did when we were alone. She managed to get me far enough away to frantically try squirming away.

"What the hell are you doing? We're in the middle of the fucking park and everyone is staring at us--"

"I don't care."

"Jacky--"

"Shut up, please," I said, and stopped whatever she had to say with my lips. She was tentative at first, but it didn't take long to convince her that everything was going to be okay. She didn't know it, but I was going to make sure she was treated properly, like a human being, not a thing.

* * *

Word of me and Jacky's episode in the midst of every single person on tour traveled quickly. Connor refused to look at me, and for some reason Jacky was extremely pissed off by that. Ally just asked if he was any good in bed or not, and I just ignored her like I usually did. I hadn't talked to Connor, but I assumed that it was over. Not that I was sad about it, but it made things awkward when I gave Ronnie his scarf back and my neck sported two or three hickies at all times.

Despite Connor being a complete buzz kill, Jacky was happy. We kissed in public all the time now, and it wasn't until the last day of tour when I decided it was time to settle things with Connor for good. I found him sitting alone outside next to our trailer and sat down next to him.

"What do you want?" he asked glumly, tossing the pebble that was in his hand.

"I need to know what's going to happen after tour," I said bluntly, and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Stop fucking glaring at me, asshole. What about the band?"

"You've been fucking Jacky Vincent and you're asking me about the band?"

"Yeah, it's kind of important," I said, ignoring the rude tone in his voice.

"After everything I've done for you, and this is how you treat me?" he asked, completely ignoring my question about our band. "I knew about it for a while. Oh, I definitely knew, especially after you started wearing that scarf."

"Drop it, Connor!" I shouted. "This isn't about me and Jacky, this is about the fucking band!"

"How can you even talk to me?" he asked, standing up now. "You don't feel dirty or guilty at all?"

"Connor--"

"Stop," he seethed, a pointer finger right in my face, "fucking saying my name. You lied to me, you cheated on me and you're flaunting it like the filthy whore you really are." Well, that hurt. I felt my eyes well up as he stood there and stared at me with absolute hatred. What was worse was that he was right. He was absolutely right.

"Have fun writing music without me," I said, forcing my voice to remain calm when it wanted to waver and crack. I didn't let him see any tears.

We played our show and pretended like nothing happened. He even went as far as to kiss me on stage, and I could practically feel Jacky's fury radiating from the side of the stage. This was the last show of the tour, and I knew that this would be the last one I played for this band.

Even though I appreciated Jacky being supportive and hating Connor, but to me it seemed like he was overreacting a little. It was me who fucked it up, and it was me who deserved to pay for it. I gave Jacky a lingering kiss before he went out on stage, and then I left. I needed to get away from the flashing lights, the screaming fans...I needed to get away from the music.

You see, when your life is music, it's still relaxing and it still saves your life, but every single one of my problems right now revolved around music and I wanted some quiet. I Googled the walking directions to my apartment in L.A. and started off in that direction. I was cute enough that someone would pick me up, but I didn't want to count on it. This venue was in Seattle, WA. I had a long ways to go.

It was freezing outside, considering it was December, and it was going to start raining at any moment. I was yearning for the desert when the drops starting falling and soaking my jacket in a few short minutes.

I must have been at least four miles away from the venue now. My phone had been ringing nonstop, but I didn't even bother to see who was calling. It was going to either die or stop working from all the moisture. I couldn't feel my hands and feet anymore. I wasn't dressed for this kind of weather. Just keep walking and never look back.

My thoughts were fuzzy, and I felt warm now. I knew this was bad, but it's not like there was anything I could do about it now. I heard a honk from behind me and a large, old truck pulled up behind me, the headlights blinding me for a moment.

"Miss? Are you lost?" asked a young man's voice and I was walking towards it before I could stop myself. "You're freezing and you're wet. Please, get inside." He helped me into the passenger seat and handed me a couple of thick blankets.

"Th-th-thanks," I stuttered.

"Those won't really help," he said, and when he closed the door behind him, I noticed that he was in his mid-thirties, good-looking and dressed in a collared shirt and jeans. "Where did you come from?"

"Well, I'm from L.A., but my band is at the El Corazon," I said as he cranked up the heat.

"That's not far from here," he said and patted my shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting way, but he just seemed awkward. "What were you doing walking in this weather?"

"Thinking," I answered honestly. "Not about the rain, obviously." He chuckled and passed a car going below the speed limit.

"Well, I don't know if this will help you at all," he said, turning into the venue parking lot. Falling in Reverse's bus was gone and so was my band's van. Lovely. On top of that, I hardly walked far at all. "If you can't figure out the puzzle, take a step back so you can see all of the pieces." I thanked the kind man and trudged to the empty venue. Well, I thought it was empty.

"Adelaine whatever-the-fuck-your-middle-name-is fucking Westfall, I swear to some fucking massive higher power out there that if you ever do that again, I'll kill you!"