Caught Like A Fly

Andy didn't come to the hotel with Mika and Rachel. Mika looked furious and Rachel wasn't much happier than he was. I didn't have anything on my phone and she went to go find Viv as he walked over to me.

"Where's Andy?" I asked, and I should have known I was an idiot for believing it would be something stupid, like getting something from the store before heading here.

"On her way to L.A., and she didn't say why," he said, his lips almost curved into a snarl. "You know, Jacky, I hate to say this, but maybe you should consider finding a new girlfriend."

My stomach churned and wanted to fall past my feet and through the floor. The wedding was in less than two weeks and she was going to L.A.? There was only one reason she would go there, and it only made me feel worse. I didn't know where my feet were taking me; I didn't care.

"Jacky, wait--!"

"I have to go," I said to the air in front of me, not letting Ronnie's plea stop me from getting into the empty cab in front of the hotel. I wanted to sit in the back of that taxi until the end of time. My driver must have seen people like me before and didn't ask me where I wanted to go and simply started driving. Oddly enough, I didn't feel like I should cry; in fact, it was the opposite. I didn't know what to feel.

My driver stopped back at the hotel after making a large loop and didn't ask for payment. I thanked him and let my feet take me to the swimming pool that was roped off for wedding guests only, but no one was here yet. I sat down in one of the many empty sun chairs and stared at the still water.

Viv didn't do things like this to Ronnie. Rachel definitely didn't do this to Mika. Why was Andy doing this to me? Alright, so Viv got herself tied up with the Vegas mob, but look what it got her. She knew what she was doing and she wasn't hurting Ronnie in the process. What was the purpose of going to L.A. to see Connor? She could have at least asked me if I wanted to come with. Or at least called me. No, it's just like Andy to leave me in the dark and do her own thing until she gets back and tells me about it when there's nothing I can do. I can't believe I thought she might actually say yes if I asked her to be with me forever.

Well, all chances of asking that in the first place were tossed out of the window. I left the pool side and headed back up to my room. If she wanted to get a hold of me, she could come find me. This was bullshit. At least the beds were comfortable. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend like Andy wasn't in L.A. and that she was just shopping or doing something girly that she was embarrassed to admit she liked.

It seemed like the moment my head hit the pillow, my phone rang. Strangely enough, it wasn't Andy.

"Hello?" I asked, not recognizing the unfamiliar phone number on the caller I.D.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call earlier," came Andy's voice, and as irritated as I was with her, it made every muscle in my body relax. "You're probably pissed."

"Pissed would be right," I confessed, and she sighed.

"Ally called me because Connor wasn't waking up, so we're at the hospital," she began. "My phone kind of, um, fell out of my pocket on the freeway somewhere. Or it's in my purse that I left at the hotel. I'm not really sure." Ugh, I couldn't stay angry with her!

"Is he okay?" I asked, not really caring about Connor, but I wanted to hear her voice. I loved how she was talking so nonchalant about that douche bag, even when he was lying in a hospital bed, like she was forced to be there.

"That prick drank too much," she snorted. "He probably realized his band sucks without me and Ally is a shitty replacement girlfriend. If that's the case, I can't blame him for trying to kill himself." Her sense of humor was appalling sometimes.

"When are you getting back?" I asked, groaning as I rolled onto my side and tried stretching my back to pop it. Nothing happened.

"I'm leaving as soon as he wakes up, even if that happens to be at two in the morning," she said, her voice saying that she would probably leave before then. "They invented 5 Hour Energy and coffee for a reason. I miss you already." Now that's what I wanted to hear. We exchanged goodbyes before hanging up and now that my mind was at ease, I figured it was a safe time to go back downstairs.

* * *

I hung up the hospital guest phone that was in Connor's room and turned my body so I could look at his unconscious form. They pumped his stomach in the emergency room and it turned out he took a bunch of pills of some kind. They took some of his blood to run tests and samples of his stomach acid, and I wanted to throttle Ally. She sat quietly in another chair further from Connor's bed, her face still white. She was a mess, which in my opinion was appropriate.

"He's still in love with you," she piped up from her corner. I turned my head slowly to glare at her. She swallowed before continuing. "He was moping around for the last couple of weeks, going through pictures of you and stuff. It was like self-torture. He broke up the band the day before yesterday for no reason." I had a snide remark ready and everything, but I bit my tongue.

"Why didn't you help him?" I asked, and she looked down at her lap.

"I tried everything, and nothing was good enough," she said, almost angrily. "I brought him breakfast every morning, I stayed with him constantly, I sang him to sleep--"

"No, those are things I did for him when we were together," I interrupted. "Minus the singing. I would play my guitar for him instead."

"Well, that's what he was always complaining about!" she exclaimed, this time looking at me. "'Andy did this, Andy did that', constantly!"

"You aren't me," I snapped. "You should have called me before he tried killing himself." She took in a deep breath before talking again.

"It was so easy to get him away from you," she said in a taunting tone. "I mean, you didn't really care about him in the first place. He was the one who stood by while you blatantly slept around with someone else, watching as his relationship fell apart. I was the only one he could talk to, since your drummer and bass player were on your side because they wanted in your pants, too.

"Now look what you've done. You sit here and you blame me for not helping him when he did it because he missed you. Like you said, I'm not you."

I didn't stay to listen to anything else that little slut had to say. It wasn't my fault she didn't know how to keep Connor alive without calling me. This wasn't because of me. It wasn't. Was it?