Caught Like A Fly

After our little "coffee date", things dwindled fast. I didn't know what Jacky thought he was doing, going there with me when there was someone else. It was bound to end. Lucky for me, L.A. wasn't the kind of place you just ran into somebody. Jacky and his band left for Warped Tour, and we stopped talking after that. Connor could tell I was bummed about the entire situation, especially when I stopped arguing with him.

"Are you feeling okay? Like, mentally?" he asked me as we drove to the nearest Denny's. We had just finished our rehearsal with our new guitar player and drummer. Halloween was drawing closer, and we always had a gig to play on Halloween. Even though I had mixed feelings about Falling in Reverse these days, I knew they were playing their last show of their fall tour in Vegas right now. That meant they were coming back to L.A. soon.

"I guess," I said, my head resting on the window. "I think my soul is gone, though."

"That's a really dramatic reaction to a guy you don't even know," he snorted as he took the exit and merged onto the main road. "I heard he wasn't coming back to L.A. anyway."

"No guy is that important, you idiot!" I snapped, glaring at him. "I just don't feel right. Is that not enough for you?" He regretted speaking at all, you could tell, but he wasn't getting away with that. He pressed his lips into a flat line and looked at me thoughtfully, saying nothing while we were at a stop light. "Typical."

"Whatever," he scoffed, stepping on the gas with more force than necessary, almost causing a wreck.

"Yeah, and smashing your car to bits is going to solve everything," I retorted, my arms folded tightly over my chest. "Who told you he wasn't coming back to L.A.?"

"This is so unfair," said Connor as he turned into the parking lot. His voice didn't sound angry, but it did sound hurt. "I'm always here for you, Andy, and you never see me. Can you even imagine what it feels like to hear you care more about Jacky?"

"Connor, I do car about you," I mumbled, taking off my seatbelt and following him into the restaurant. "You're my best friend."

"And you break my heart every single day."

I said nothing and stared at the back of his head as he held up two fingers to the waitress and she seated us at a clean booth. He ordered us both coffees and fixed mine the way I liked it--one cream, half a sugar packet--and stirred it before pushing it to me. He offered a wide smile, but it was forced. His eyes were a chocolate brown, his hair blonde and shaggy and his skin tan from being outside all the time. If he took off his shirt he'd be so white you could lose him in a blizzard. He had a following of girls that were in love with our band, but he was never interested. I felt worse and worse with every good memory I relived with Connor. I took a few drinks of my coffee to collect my thoughts, watching him watch the other people in the restaurant.

"Connor," I said, and looked right back down at my coffee when he turned to see what I wanted to say. "I'm sorry."

"What?" He looked genuinely confused, which only made this worse.

"I'm sorry that I keep...avoiding you," I forced myself to look into those innocent eyes. He knew exactly what I was talking about. "So, fuck it. Let's do this."

"Are you being serious?" he asked, his lips tightening at the corners to stop a smile. The waitress, who was very pretty by the way, came to take our order, her shirt buttoned lower than I remember it and flirted shamelessly with Connor as she wrote on her pad of paper. He didn't even see her. She left in a huff and I watched her stalk to the cook line and put our order up on the wheel.

"Yes."

* * *

My life was almost perfect. Epitaph Records finally signed our band to their label and we had gone on a short tour with Alesana as their opener. Connor and I actually started getting along and our band was better because of it. We had skyrocketed into popularity and people stopped me in the streets to get my autograph. Before we knew it, it was summer time in California again. We missed getting on Warped Tour again, but I didn't mind. It was notorious for drunk band guys with smelly balls.

"Vinny, come on," I said, waving my hand to our other guitar player, our guitars in hand. We were playing at a skate park to raise money for the Children's Hospital, and it was time for us to play. Connor was already testing his mic and stopped to give me a peck on the lips before continuing. Dakota was backstage, twirling his drumsticks, his kit ready to go.

"Your phone went off," he said, pointing at it. I had left it here with him when I practically ran to the restroom. I had lots of coffee this morning, and it was still making me piss like a racehorse. "A few times, actually."

"Thanks," I said, and unlocked the touch screen.

"Guys, we're ready!" shouted Connor as she skipped over to us. He started hopping in place and kids started gathering in front of our stage. "Put that thing away." He took my phone from me and set it back on an unused speaker. Whoever needed to get a hold of me could wait, but I was curious who would try texting me when everyone I could think of knew I was playing a show today.

I loved playing shows. I couldn't say it too many times and I couldn't do it too many times. I would always love it, no matter how old I got. My curiosity had bested me when we left the stage and I went straight to my phone the moment our tech took my guitar. It was Vivian, the girl that made me my knife. I had met her in Vegas when I went to visit my friend Rachel.

Hey, I thought I saw you at Warped Tour today, but then I realized it wasn't you, so I thought I'd check up on you. Haven't seen or talked to you in a while. I scoffed and texted back.

Unfair! What are you doing on Warped Tour?

My boyfriend made me go. He's in Falling in Reverse, so he thinks he can get whatever he wants. I snorted with laughter before my heart wanted to fall through the stage beneath my feet and beat on the grass.

Band guys are like that. My band opened for them about a year ago, how are they doing? I couldn't help but ask, and my knees started to feel weak.

Well, Ronnie is still Ronnie. He's with me now, so he's gotten better. Mika and Rachel got together, which is awesome. Ryan and Derek are nerding out in front the Xbox right now and I'm not really sure where Jacky is.

I kept a casual conversation and let her talk most of the time, sending little more than conversation-killers, and had to force myself to ignore Jacky's phone number that was literally screaming my name. I went to meet with some of our younger fans to distract me from the temptation.

* * *

Andy wasn't in bed when I showed up at her apartment, which was really weird for her. She never woke up early, but there she was in her recliner that she had cleaned off, scrolling through her phone. It had been about a week since our last show and we were going to go on tour with Thursday in less than two weeks from today. I had her favorite mocha in my hand, but she ignored me and kept her eyes focused on the small screen.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and she jumped as if she hadn't seen me come in.

"Cleaning out my contacts," she said with a monotone voice. She was hiding something, because she had stopped scrolling and stared even more intently at the phone before flipping it sideways and sliding out the keyboard, typing quickly before snapping it shut and standing up to take her coffee and kiss me. "Sorry, I had a hard time finding my mom in my phonebook last night, but I fell asleep before I could do anything."

"Right," I said wryly and setting the white paper bag of bagels on her kitchen counter. She received a text back quickly, and hid her shock poorly. I decided to ignore her. It could have been anyone. A beautiful morning spent with Andy couldn't possibly be anything but perfect like they always were.