Caught Like A Fly

I had woken up insanely early. I was having a nightmare about a zombie apocalypse and I woke up when one of them tripped me and started chewing on my leg. Of all the things in the world, zombies scare me the most, and zombie apocalypse movies are the bane of my existence. It was six thirty in the morning. I tried going back to sleep, but the echo of that nightmare wouldn't let me.

First I made coffee, and when that was done brewing and I had a cup on my small table I started cleaning. My apartment was a small studio; my bed was over by the window to the fire escape by the back right corner, my kitchen was the back left corner, a short hallway led to the bathroom on the left wall also had a stacked washer and dryer, and my two pieces of furniture. My recliner and my futon took up the rest of the room. I didn't have room or money for a TV, so my guitar and old amp sat where it should have gone. By eight o'clock my laundry was in the washer, I had two cups of coffee, I finished the dishes and I was sitting in my recliner, bored out of my fucking mind.

It was a little early to be playing guitar, and I had dishes fingers anyway, so I decided it was time to clean out my contacts. Since we had been signed, we met a lot of people and most of them had no business being a contact. I was just fine until I reached the J's, and that name was staring up at me, tempting me and luring me in. Jacky Vincent. It had his Facebook picture as the little icon, and my heart started beating a little faster. What was he up to? Where is he? Did he remember me? I didn't even hear Connor come through my front door with offerings of coffee and bagels. I slid open my phone, sent a "Hey Jacky, it's Andy, what's up?" as fast as my fingers would type on the tiny keyboard and slid it shut. I jumped when I saw Connor. I already had the mocha in my hands, and it worried me how well my brain tuned him out when I was thinking about Jacky.

"You cleaned," he said after he set down the bagels and took a seat on the futon. "Wow."

"Yeah, I had another zombie nightmare and I couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided to do something useful," I said, taking a sip of my mocha. Connor was such a good boyfriend. I checked my phone and nearly jumped when I saw Jacky had replied immediately.

Not much. On Warped Tour. I was just thinking about you, actually, what are you up to these days?

"Someone's jumpy," said Connor with a sly smile, nudging my shoulder. "I think we should do something today. Just you and me." He took one of my hands and kissed it. I filled Jacky in on our new label, about my zombie nightmare and that I kind of missed him.

"Actually, I made plans with my mom this morning," I said, doing my best imitation of a sad face. Truthfully, I made that up, but I did want to see my mom. "I'm supposed to leave as soon as I get ready."

"Can I come with you?" he asked, still not discouraged.

"No, it's going to be a mother-daughter kind of thing," I said, shrugging. "She hasn't seen me in a while, and we're about to leave on tour again. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"What about practice?"

"I'll practice at my mom's," I said, and now he looked like I ruined his day. "We've been rehearsing for weeks. I think we all need a little break." The word 'break' seemed to hit him especially hard.

He only stuck around long enough to use my toaster and eat my cream cheese. Him, Dakota and Vinny were going to go to a movie and now that I said I was going to my mom's, I decided I should call her and tell her I was going to show up. Her and my dad lived in Las Vegas, and it was going to be about a five hour drive from my apartment. She didn't answer when I called, so I figured I'd just go there and if she wasn't home, it was Vegas after all, and Rachel still lived there. While I was packing my guitar in its backpack case, my phone started ringing in my pocket. It was Jacky.

"Hey," I said, straightening my clothes and fixing my hair and then feeling embarrassed because he was only on the phone.

"You have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice," he sighed, and he really did sound like that was how he felt.

"Aw, shucks," I said, smirking. "I missed you, too."

"It's refreshing to get away from the madness," he said, and I heard creaking in the background like he was lying down in a bed. A blush rose to my cheeks when I pictured other reasons why he would be in a bed...

"Madness?" I asked, packing and talking at the same time.

"Ronnie and his new girlfriend that he's proposing to, Mika and his new girlfriend that he's obsessed with...they're both on tour with us, now--"

"Wait, Vivian is getting married?!" I asked incredulously, almost dropping my mocha. "She's like, un-marry-able."

"Don't tell her, she doesn't know yet," he whispered. "I helped him pick out her ring. I still don't know how he pulled that money out of his ass."

"Wow," I said, a little dumbstruck. If a girl like Vivian can manage to get married, I felt like my chances were much higher than I once did. "That is definitely some madness."

"Yeah," he said and sighed again.

"There's a lot of sighing coming from you," I noted, and at the mention of it he did it again. "You're depressed."

"What?"

"It's a sign of unhappiness," I informed him, and this time he cleared his throat.

"That's ridiculous," he said, and I smiled.

"No, just true," I said, and he didn't argue. "What's really going on with you, Jacky?"

"It's not important," he said, and I could almost see him shaking his head. "I just wanted to talk to someone."

"Well, you're sighing more than you're talking," I argued. "I can't read minds."

"Marianne broke up with me last week." Silence. "She waited until she thought I was going to ask her to marry me, and ended it."

"Um...ouch."

"Yeah. Ouch."

"Do you think it was vengeance for moving to the U.S.?" I asked quietly. Even though my little conscience was jumping for joy, I felt really bad for him.

"That was part of it," he said. "She said I changed and that she thought she didn't mean as much to me anymore."

"I'm sorry," I said, and I heard him shrug.

"It's not so bad anymore," he said, and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We really should get together sometime after I get off this tour."

"Definitely," I said, my small backpack full of clothes and toiletries and ready to go downstairs with me. "I go on tour in two weeks, but it's a short tour." He laughed about something, and at first I thought it was about someone else.

"This is so weird," he said, and this time I could hear his smile. "Making plans around a girl's tour."

"You better get used to it," I retorted playfully. "I'm one of those annoying people that never go away."

"I hope so."

"Stop it, you're making me blush," I said, waving my hand at nothing. "Hey, I'm off to Vegas. I can't really talk on my phone on my bike."

"You're riding a bicycle all the way to Las Vegas?" he asked, his voice amused.

"No, my motorcycle, you jerk."

"That's hot."

"What did I tell you about the blushing?" I asked, and he just laughed. "I have to visit my mom to get away from my boyfriend for a little while."

"Wait, boyfriend?" he asked suddenly, and I realized I shouldn't have said anything.

"Um...yeah," I said slowly, quickly thinking of a way to approach this. "Connor. But I uh...um, I don't know if...oh God, I get all tongue-tied when I talk to you...I didn't, no, um, I--gah!"

"It's okay," he said, stopping my rambling. "I would've felt bad if you waited around for me."

"I never said I wasn't waiting around for you," I protested, and clapped a hand over my mouth. Such stupid, stupid words! In the words of Lindsay Lohan, I had word vomit. "Ugh, someone should sew my mouth shut."

"Well, I know better ways to stop you from talking, but you know..."

"Is it bad that I get chills remembering those days?"

"Kind of, yeah, especially with that boyfriend figure," he said, his voice filled with amusement again. He thought this was funny.

"Does being a fan-girl justify any of that? Because sometimes I forget we're friends and spaz out with my girlfriends at the bar when a Falling in Reverse song comes on."

"Only a little," he said, chuckling. "And I want to see that one day."

"Okay, I really should go," I said, laughing nervously. "It was, um, really nice talking to you."

"Same," he said, in a much better mood now than when our conversation began. "And just to warn you now, I'm going to try and steal you from this Connor."

"I could always just dump him."

"Don't ruin my fun!"

"Okay, okay," I said, my ego swelling to the size of a hot air balloon. "I'll text you when I get to my mom's house."

"I'm waiting." We said our goodbyes and I stuffed my phone into my backpack. My face was hot so I went to the kitchen and splashed cold water on myself. I hovered above the sink, drops of water falling from my nose and down the drain. A lot of things were said, and I wasn't sure if I meant all of it. Things between Connor and I were different now than they were when I met Jacky. I loved Connor. Yeah, he irritated me sometimes, but did I want to throw all of that away for some rockstar that may or may not like me? A drive to Vegas alone was going to do me a lot of good.