Caught Like A Fly

"ANDY! What took you so long to call me?!" Jacky demanded the moment he answered. "I have the best news of the century!"

"Whoa, hello to you too," I said, smiling that he was excited to hear from me.

"No time for hello," he said, and took a deep breath before letting it out in a long string of words. "Falling in Reverse is going to be headlining a tour that collaborates with the tour that you're on and we leave next week to meet you and when your tour is over the label says that you're joining us!"

"Wait, what?" I asked, and he growled at me in irritation. "Slow down." I heard him breathe in and out slowly before continuing.

"You aren't even an opener, you're playing right before us," he said, more excited than I had ever heard him be. "Oh yeah, and don't tell them I told you, they're supposed to call you tomorrow."

"This is going to be so much fun," I said sarcastically. I had been nearly as excited as Jacky for about ten seconds until I realized we were touring together. With our bands. With Connor.

"Why aren't you happy?" he asked, his voice wondering.

"Think about it, Jacky," I said quietly. "Connor is going to be there--"

"Forget Connor."

"I can't just forget Connor, he's my lead singer."

"He can't follow you all the time," said Jacky suggestively.

"Oh, I wouldn't underestimate obsession," I argued. "You won't be even be able to hug me without him hearing about it."

"But I can steal a kiss or two," he said huskily, sending chills down my spine. "If you think he can catch us, you can always tell me no."

"That's not going to happen," I muttered, my cheeks burning again. "You are turning me into a horrible girlfriend."

"Maybe I'm just showing you what you really want."

"Stop your one-liners. You hang out with Ronnie too much," I snapped, trying to sound angry, but I was far from that. Quite the opposite, actually.

"Are they working?"

"Perhaps."

"Then I will do no such thing," he chuckled, and I could almost feel him reaching through the phone to touch my face. "I'll let you get to your screaming fan boys."

"Speaking of fan boys," I said, smiling. "They uh, gave me a stick of lipstick. Blood red. Do you think you have anything to do with that?"

"Me? Never," he teased.

"I have a trademark now," I said, biting my lip. "Red lips instead of autographs. I kissed a lot of boys today."

"So does Connor have a bone to pick with them, too?"

"I don't think so, they're my fans," I said, smirking. "You're actually trying to make him single, they aren't."

"You really think that?" he asked before laughing. "If I were him, I would be more concerned if I couldn't see the red lipstick on me."

"JACKY!"

"Okay, okay," he said through his laughter. "I'll stop. I'll see you soon, Andy."

"Looking forward to it," I said, and we said our goodbyes before hanging up.

"Still talking to him?" I heard Connor's voice say from a patch of darkness in the hallway. I dropped my phone in surprise and hurriedly picked it up and stuffed it in my pocket.

"He's my friend, Connor," I said, perhaps too defensively.

"A friend that you made out with a couple of times?"

"That was a long time ago," I snapped, beginning to feel angry with him. "And you might want to start getting used to it. I'm getting a phone call tomorrow from Epitaph and we'll be on their headlining tour."

"Lovely," he said irritably, and instead of stalking away like he usually did, he dropped to the floor and covered his face with his hands. "My nightmare continues."

"Hey," I said, squatting down next to him and playing with his hair. "This is exactly what the band needs."

"I'm not talking about the band, you know that," he spat bitterly. "Ever since you came back from your parents' house I could feel you slipping away from me."

"Connor..."

"Don't lie to me, Adelaine," he said, his voice down to a whisper. "I'm trying so hard to make you happy. Please, can you help me? We never talk anymore unless it gets this bad." That sickly, slippery feeling of guilt was back again, and I sat down next to him and set my head on his shoulder.

"I don't even know who I am anymore, Connor," I mumbled, but I knew he could hear me. "It isn't fair to you that you have to suffer through me finding myself all over again."

"But I want to be here for that," he said, his voice starting to crack. "I've been here for everything else."

"I know," I said. That's why ending this is going to be so hard. "Don't take this as a bad thing, but I feel like I lost my best friend to my boyfriend."

"What does that even mean?" he asked, still staring at the wood floor.

"You stopped being my friend went we started dating again, Connor. You and the guys stopped talking about crude things in front of me and we stopped going to parties. You won't even push me over anymore," I ranted, emphasizing with my hands. "That's why I liked you in the first place, and now you're completely different."

"So now you've turned to Jacky for the relationship we used to have," he deduced, and for the sake of this conversation, I nodded. "I guess that makes sense." It does?

"Okay," I said, lifting my head and putting my arm around his shoulders. "So what do you think?"

"I don't care if you hang out with Jacky on tour," he said, brightening as he hopped up. "We'll be surrounded by people and you can't be stuck alone anyway. And I'm going to push you over for making me cry, you big jerk." He helped me up so that he could shove my shoulder and make me fall down again. I laughed at him and he let me get up on my own.

Bus call was in a few minutes and we were lucky we didn't miss it. We had roadies now, so we didn't have to load up our own things. Connor went straight to sleep after he grabbed a bottle of water and Dakota and Vinny followed suit. I sat up alone in our crowded van in the front seat, lurking on Jacky's Facebook and looking through his pictures as Dakota's older brother drove us to our next destination.

I shouldn't have said anything to Connor about why our relationship wasn't working; now he was going to be perfect, and Jacky and I were never going to be more than just friends. I hated that no matter what I did, I was cheating someone out of something. I allowed myself to date Connor, and I flirt shamelessly with Jacky when I know he likes me and is single again. I was either a horrible girlfriend or a horrible girl. I plugged in my headphones and drowned out the world with some Greeley Estates. Perhaps they would give me an answer.