Caught Like A Fly

I loved to watch Falling in Reverse play. Okay, I loved watching Jacky regardless of what he was doing. Obsession was a very likely possibility if I was going to remain a faithful girlfriend. It's like my eyes were addicted to his presence, and I couldn't stare at him enough. Whenever Connor would ask about it, I would tell him that I simply missed him and couldn't believe that he was here. He seemed to be buying my stories more often than not lately, and I wasn't sure if I was worried or thankful.

Jacky and I had plans to go to dinner instead of partying, and once again Connor had shocked me by being okay with this. Maybe he was starting to understand, which in reality only made this worse. My motorcycle was in the trailer with our gear because I didn't trust L.A. at all, and it was extremely convenient to have around on occasions like these.

"Wow," Jacky said after we each made sure our guitars made it safely back where they belonged. I wasn't going to let anyone lose mine this time, because I was going to murder someone if it happened again. "It's shiny and black."

"Duh, I sent you a picture," I said, trying to brush off his comment, but it made my insides hum in satisfaction. I straddled my motorcycle and patted the passenger seat. "Come on. Get on the back."

"The back? I can't drive?"

"No," I said firmly. "Get on the back."

"This is backwards," he said as he put his arms around my waist. "It should be you doing things to me while I tried to start the motorcycle." This was the part I was excited about, but that nasty guilty feeling made it less enjoyable as Jacky kissed and nipped at my neck before I quickly put my helmet on.

"God, I'm going to rape you in a Denny's bathroom, stop it!" He chuckled as a shiver went down my spine. I kicked the motor to life and we rode down the street to the nearest twenty-four hour restaurant that was, ironically, a Denny's.

"So uh, does that threat still stand? Because you have the opportunity to follow through."

"Don't tempt me," I growled under my breath, and that amused smirk was plastered on his face even after we were seated. "Coffee, please." She took our order and Jacky eyed me with worry when she brought me my coffee.

"This late?" he asked, serious again. "You're going to have heart problems."

"I already have heart problems," I muttered irritably, but forced out a smile for the waitress. "I can't believe Connor is being so...chill."

"He's really not so bad," Jacky argued weakly and shrugged when I shot him a glare. "Alright, I don't like him. Happy?"

"Yes," I said, allowing a small smile. "What does your band think of this...thing?"

"They don't understand why you would pick Connor over me," he said, leaning back in the booth.

"I'm not picking Connor over you!" I protested, but knew it for a lie the moment it left my mouth.

"You are," he said, all traces of happiness gone. "Every day. Even right now."

"Jacky..."

"Andy," he said firmly, reaching over the table to take my hands. "Who do you want? Honestly."

"You," I blurted, and his hands prevented mine from hiding my face. I didn't like to blush. "I want you."

"Then take me, for fuck's sake!" he exclaimed, dropping my hands and throwing his own into the air in frustration. "I've been throwing myself at you, and all you can do is tease me with what I could have." My mind worked furiously, judging pros and cons so quickly it was a blur.

"Wait until this tour is over," I said after a full minute of silence, only the clinking of plates and cooks talking and laughing with the waitresses to be heard. "I can't jeopardize my band's reputation. When we get home, I'll break it off with Connor." All talk of relationships stopped when our food arrived, and we ate in uncomfortable silence.

What was I supposed to do? I wanted Jacky, I really did. Connor had proved he was going to stick around, even if I didn't want him to. What if Jacky decided to go back home? I can't fly to London on a whim, money set aside. I couldn't leave my band for something like that. I didn't want to believe that he would be the boyfriend I never saw, but I simply didn't know. One look at him set my conscience reeling. I don't care. He could be gone for months and I'd still be happy knowing he was mine. I can't handle "what if..." He's worth it, isn't he, Andy?

"I'm sorry," I said halfway through our meal. I wasn't hungry anymore. "I keep...leading you on and it's not fair. Between you and me, Connor and I are over. Right now."

"Now?" he asked, his fork hovering above his plate. He looked a little surprised. "First you're all worried about Connor and now this?"

"Yes," I said confidently. This felt right. "All we have to do is keep this under wraps until this tour is over."

"I can do that," he said, smirking and setting down his fork. He must not have been hungry anymore either, because he asked for bill, we fought over who paid and ended up splitting it and rode back to the busses. Thankfully, we made bus call, and they were only headed to the nearest gas station anyway. When I got into our van (we weren't important enough for a bus yet) I saw that we had a surprise visitor.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked, confused. A girl that could have been my age but probably younger was sitting next to Dakota in the front. Connor usually sat in the front just behind me, which was what initially threw me off. She had black hair with a rainbow of different colors scattered throughout and you could have scraped off her makeup with a spoon.

"Chill out Andy, geez," said Dakota, putting his arm around the girl's shoulders. "This is Ally Benton. She's going to be our merch girl."

"Oh," I said, feeling a little bad about being so rude at first. Only a little, though. "Well, then I'm going to ride with Falling in Reverse."

"Oh my gosh! You know them?" Ally exclaimed, her mouth making a perfect 'O'. "I'm like, super jealous!"

"Um, yeah," I said, flattening my lips into a line. She couldn't see that I didn't like her. At all. "See you guys tomorrow."

"Andy, wait!" Connor said from the back, crawling over Vinny and the other two to get to me. "Don't let her get to you. She really admires you and she's just nervous."

"Dude, seriously?" I asked, an eyebrow lifted to show how I felt about that. "That just means she'll keep me up all night asking me stupid questions. Let her excitement die down first." He paused for a moment before nodding.

"Go ahead," he said, nodding his head in the direction of the Falling in Reverse bus. "I'm sorry I haven't been very understanding of your connection with Jacky. It's obvious you guys are just friends."

"Thank you," I told him, and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

We exchanged our goodbyes and I felt like I was floating towards their bus. There was something up with Connor. There had to be. My luck was never this good, but I didn't want to start questioning it if that was the case. When Jacky saw me, my heart leaped at the confused but delighted expression on his face.

"What are you doing? Your van is gone," he said, the little smirk giving away that he already knew what I was up to.

"We've acquired a new merch girl and she's annoying."

"You poor thing," he said, setting his hands on my shoulder and rubbing my upper arms like one would do to a child that had been stuck in the cold all night long. "Do you want to come with us?" Ronnie sniggered at Jacky's tone and he led us up the steps.

"Man, we need one of these," I said to myself. It was just like an RV with bunks instead of full-sized beds. Jacky and I split off from the others and I was led to a bunk that was in the far corner away from the other bunks. "Is this where I'm sleeping?"

"Well, that's my bed, so yeah," he said, sitting down. I sat next to him and the moment I was settled the tension thickened instantly. This was the first time we had been alone with no possibility of Connor interrupting, and I was sure his band mates were going to remain far from this area. Our eyes only had to meet once before his hands went to the sides of my face and our lips went straight to each other. It wasn't cute or romantic at all. An entire year of waiting, longing and lust wasn't going to be pretty. I don't think sleep will be an option.