Status: Second Frerard, be patient with me. I'm trying to write this well.
You're Never Gonna Fit In Much, Kid.
24
Frank's POV
After turning around, I remembered a question I had asked Gerard the day before. Or maybe two nights ago. I can't remember what day.. Not that it matters. But the question I asked him does.
"Gerard, you never told me why you drink."
"I just do."
I sighed, "Gerard.. that's a lie. There has to be a reason."
"Well.. I had trouble fitting in when I was in high school."
"Doesn't everyone?"
He turned down the music, "When I was in high school, I thought I would be cool if I was drunk or high all the time."
"You did drugs?"
He nodded, "I still do."
I felt something in my chest break. I swear, it was my heart.
Gerard continued, "Well, it didn't make me cool.. I never got involved with the wrong people or anything.. I just started drinking because the wrong people, to me, seemed like the right people at the time. They weren't."
"Well then why do you still drink and do drugs?"
Gerard sighed deeply, "I realized that it made me feel better about being a fucking loser... Not permanently better, I mean.. Every time I drank more, or smoked more, snorted more.. looking to feel like I did the first time. Nothing is ever as good as the first time. You go looking to feel like that again. And you never do.. It fucked me up."
"High school does that."
Gerard smiled, how could someone smile after that? I still don't understand him.
"Yeah, it does.. I'm still searching for that high, you know? But something healthy. Something that will make me feel better. I won't need it again. I'll get better, though."
"Promise?"
Gerard turned into the Belleville exit, "I promise."
After turning around, I remembered a question I had asked Gerard the day before. Or maybe two nights ago. I can't remember what day.. Not that it matters. But the question I asked him does.
"Gerard, you never told me why you drink."
"I just do."
I sighed, "Gerard.. that's a lie. There has to be a reason."
"Well.. I had trouble fitting in when I was in high school."
"Doesn't everyone?"
He turned down the music, "When I was in high school, I thought I would be cool if I was drunk or high all the time."
"You did drugs?"
He nodded, "I still do."
I felt something in my chest break. I swear, it was my heart.
Gerard continued, "Well, it didn't make me cool.. I never got involved with the wrong people or anything.. I just started drinking because the wrong people, to me, seemed like the right people at the time. They weren't."
"Well then why do you still drink and do drugs?"
Gerard sighed deeply, "I realized that it made me feel better about being a fucking loser... Not permanently better, I mean.. Every time I drank more, or smoked more, snorted more.. looking to feel like I did the first time. Nothing is ever as good as the first time. You go looking to feel like that again. And you never do.. It fucked me up."
"High school does that."
Gerard smiled, how could someone smile after that? I still don't understand him.
"Yeah, it does.. I'm still searching for that high, you know? But something healthy. Something that will make me feel better. I won't need it again. I'll get better, though."
"Promise?"
Gerard turned into the Belleville exit, "I promise."
♠ ♠ ♠
I just edited a bunch of chapters. You don't really have to read them or anything, I just felt like they could have been better.I'm going to write a shitload this week, but I'm not updating again until Thurday or Friday. Maybe later if I can't find time. It's hard to let you guys know when I'll update, so..
Anyway, am I doing a little better now? Some background on Gerard, I guess.
*edit*
I accidentally thought this was 25. I changed it to 24. Fail.