As the Leaves Change Color So Does Your Love

I opened my eyes, blinking furiously. Taking in my surroundings, I realized where I was and what I had done. Draco’s slender figure lay on the couch underneath me, his sleek white-blonde hair slightly ruffled and a serene look placed over his sharp, pointed features. My body lay on his, but he seemed like a hundred or so pounds were not on him. I was still naked, but he had slid on his jeans, leaving only his chest exposed. Slightly embarrassed, I got up and shook him awake, snatching up my clothes and putting them back on. He rubbed his eyes, opening one and looking up towards me. Smiling more to himself than to me, he closed them again, snuggling against the couch.

“Draco,” I mumbled into his ear, leaning down to press my lips to his ear. “Come on, get up.”

I sat down with my legs crisscrossed on the ground, inclining my back against the sofa. I leaned my head back and rested it on his bare chest. He brought down a hand and played with my hair gently, twisting a random strand in circular motions. As I basked in the relaxation of just sitting here with him, my mind dwelled on several different things.

First of all, I wasn’t a virgin anymore. Having had sex, I realized I wasn’t as pure as I was before. But I was glad it was with Draco, even though he seemed to have much more experience than I’d expected. It was like heaven, as I connected with him on a deeper level than I had with any other guy. I knew it was the wrong moment because he wanted to stay away from me to protect me, but I had thought fast and at the time, sex seemed like a good idea. Another thought produced itself in my head and my breath caught in my throat when I grasped the fact that I just made the biggest mistake of my life.

“Draco!” I turned around and shook him frantically. “Draco! Oh my god. Oh my god.”

Hearing my panicked tone, he opened his eyes and looked at me like I was a bizarre creature. “What is it, Rahenna?”

“We didn’t use protection!” I cried, already panicking. I repeated it over and over again hysterically and after I said for about the tenth time, he got up looking worried and wrapped his arms around me reassuringly, pulling me up to sit beside him.

“I pulled out before anything…” he trailed off, looking at me expectantly.

“Are you sure?” I whispered as a tear slipped down my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb and rubbed my arms soothingly. I put my head on his shoulder, breathing in his sharp, earthy scent, mixed with my vanilla-infused one. Suddenly, he pushed my head off his shoulder and got up, looking towards the piles of books to his right. Beside it was a Vanishing Cabinet that he’d been by earlier when I’d walked into the room. I’d only seen one exactly like it in Borgin and Burkes when my father had taken me with him to buy something he needed. Not that he’d found anything, as he quickly realized the shop was rather strange, full of Dark things.

“You should leave,” Draco said, bringing me out of a trance.

“We will see each other again, right?” I asked hopefully. I clasped my hands together, praying he wouldn’t leave me hanging.

“Rahenna, I have to keep you safe,” he looked at me intently, shaking his head.

“But I need you,” I whispered, looking down at my hand.

“No,” he said adamantly. “I love you, but we can never be.”

“So you just used me for sex and now you’re going throw me away like a rag? I bet that’s what you do all the time with Pansy, but her bloody idiotic brain doesn’t understand anything. No wonder you get along so well with her. I bet that’s why you’re so experienced and you probably thought I was childish. I lost my virginity to you, Draco Malfoy, and now you’re telling me we can’t be?”

I knew the words stung and I knew he was more true to me than that, but I was desperate. I’d go to any measures to keep him by my side. He wanted to stay away from me for my life, but I wanted to stay with him as long as I lived.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” he sighed, frowning at me. He took a step towards me and leaning down, he brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my forehead softly. He reached for my wrist and pulled me up out of my seat. After he put on his shirt, he silently led me out of the room, where the doorway had appeared once more. I followed him mutely, unable to form any words through my mouth. Once outside back in the corridor, I looked out through a window and realized it was nightfall.

“Just go back to the common room before you get caught,” he said. “It’s past midnight, I think. If you ever need to come back to this room, it’s the Room of Requirement. It provides you with anything you need.”

“Will it help me get you back?”

He exhaled loudly in frustration. Without another word, he walked away and out of sight, most likely to the dungeons. I let my legs carry me to the common room and then up to the dormitory. Everyone was already asleep in their beds. I walked to my four-poster bed by Eve’s and lay down without changing my clothes. For the first time, I was sore in places I had never been in before. However happy I was to have shared that intimacy with Draco, it pained me to think about the situation we were in now. He was so difficult. Why couldn’t he just be happy with me until something did happen? I wasn’t scared of death. Mum always told me being scared of death made you scared of living. I couldn’t go everywhere being afraid that Voldemort would be awaiting me around the corner.