Decayed Orbit

The view from the Palm Woods’s roof was an unsung postcard, and a part of Kandi wished she could stay up there forever amidst the warm glow of the city lights, up where the sound of traffic on the streets below became a distant lullaby. It was some sort of out-of-body experience for her, to be able to escape the chaos of Hollywood while still remaining a part of the living, breathing, pulse-pounding city.

When she’d first discovered that the door to the rooftop of the apartment building was unlocked, Kandi hadn’t thought much of it. Curiosity drove her to venture out that first afternoon, and the awe-filled serenity she’d experienced from getting a bird’s eye view of the city, from finally getting some time to herself. It was something she’d been reluctant to share, but when she saw that her best friend was just as overwhelmed as she was, she couldn’t withhold her getaway from him.

At first, being alone with Logan had been easy because though they’d only known each other for a few months, they’d quickly become close friends. But time had a way of changing things, and the dynamic was beginning to shift in their relationship, but neither of them was willing to acknowledge the change. Both were desperately clinging to the way things were, before everything became so complicated, back when they were just a boy and a girl. Before they both became cogs in the fame machine, before the riptide pulled them under, turning them both into people they barely recognized.

With her wavy chestnut locks swept up into a messy bun piled on top of her head and her face free of any makeup, it was harder to recognize the girl that had graced the cover of dozens of teen magazines, the young, fresh-faced star of Varsity Vampires 3. In her flimsy white tank top and gray yoga pants, she was just another seventeen-year-old, waiting for her life to begin.

But none of those things anyone could pick out at first glance were what had made Logan Mitchell fall for her. Because it was her subtleties and mannerisms that made her shine, that set her apart from the rest of the Hollywood stereotypes that resided in their apartment building. It was the way she constantly gnawed at her lower lip, the way she rolled those big brown eyes without even thinking, how no matter how shitty of a day he’d had in the studio, her face still lit up whenever she saw him walk into the lobby, and all of his troubles suddenly seemed insignificant.

In his gray v-neck and navy sweatpants, Logan barely resembled the well-dressed, fair-skinned boy of the cover of his band’s debut album. As they sat opposite of each other, their legs crisscrossed against the rough asphalt, the illumination from above played across Logan’s skin, making it appear translucent and exaggerating the striking contrast of his espresso hair and deep brown eyes.

Beneath a night sky clouded with smog, catching the blues and lavenders from the streets below, Kandi couldn’t deny that he looked beautiful in some otherworldly way as her thumb trailed down the script in her hand. Every time her gaze drifted over the page, she caught a glimpse of his features and became even more confused.

She’d always cared about him, but it was nights like these when she wondered if she loved him in the more romantic sense of the word. Though she’d brushed off the idea immediately, she couldn’t help but realize how easier it had become for her to imagine being with him. It was as if all her emotions were turning against her, trying to deceive her in some way. All of these foreign feelings were beginning to make their way to the surface of the girl’s thoughts, shrouding her best friend in a new light.

An undeniable tension flooded the air between them, a heaviness that had gotten its start months earlier and was just now coming to a head.

Honey brown eyes pretended to skim the sheet in her grip, but the words on the page refused to sink in. It was a monologue she was trying to hammer out for some upcoming auditions, and Logan had offered to help her out with it. And so here they were, hours past their curfews and feet above the city, falling into their respective roles. Logan was big-time movie star Tad Hamilton, while Kandi was Rosalee Futch, small-town girl completely smitten after meeting her biggest celebrity crush. This was the scene near the end of the film, after Tad’s convinced Rosalee to move out to Los Angeles with him. Sounds like the perfect Hollywood ending, yeah? It would be, if Rosalee wasn’t in love with her best friend.

The air seemed to buzz with electricity as Kandi slipped her script to the side, her chest expanding slowly as she took a deep breath, trying to gather herself before she began. Normally, she could ease herself into a role almost instinctively, but there was something different about that night. Her own emotions were beginning to become too tangled with those of the character, the storyline hitting too close to home, especially since her rather recent (and immensely publicized) breakup with her costar Dak Zevon.

Anticipation seemed to hum around her as she vaguely listened to Logan recite the line before hers, that overwhelmingly strong feeling that she was on the brink of the unknown. It was a scary yet tantalizing sensation.

Like that night when her entire world as she knew it seemed to collapse around her in an instant. Kandi had been at Dak’s house, a contemporary mansion nestled in the Hollywood Hills, where he was throwing an afterparty to celebrate the premiere of Varsity Vampires 3, and on a whim, she’d invited Logan. It was the first time she’d hung out with both of them together, and needless to say, it was awkward.

Throughout the course of her and Dak’s whirlwind two-month-long relationship, Logan, a boy who spent most of his time fumbling for words, had no problem voicing his distrust of Dak. According to Logan, he couldn’t have been more wrong for her, and his intuition later became fueled those nights up on the roof when Kandi confessed the less-than-perfect way Dak treated her.

Logan was already on edge when he’d stepped through the doors, and Kandi was bouncing from the scant amount of cocaine she’d inhaled in order to calm her nerves. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

Instilled with temporary courage from the coke, she’d boldly walked across the room and smashed her lips against his. Logan was numb with shock, his lips fumbling against hers, unsure of whether to return the gesture or break away, while Kandi was buzzing, her movements forceful and unabashed. It wasn’t the silver screen kiss she’d longed for so badly, but she couldn’t walk away from it pretending not to have felt anything.

She had been on the verge then, and that same feeling was crawling beneath her skin as she watched Logan’s lips curl around each syllable, his voice blending in with the traffic like a distant memory.

Maybe all of this time she’d spent in search of the perfect celluloid romance with Dak had been wasted. Maybe her perfect leading man was right in front of her, in the form of an awkward member of a boy band.

It wasn’t until she actually said the line and heard her own feelings echoed through a simple bit of written dialogue that everything began to fall into place.

“Do you think it’s possible to love someone your entire life and never realize it until something happens that makes you see?”

As Logan’s thin lips parted to begin his next line, Kandi rocked forward, clumsily shifting her weight onto her forearms as she let her lips brush against his. Starting off gently, the pressure of her kiss increased as she regained her balance before slowly pulling away. Her gaze intertwined with his, as if her world had finally been set on its axis.

In typical Logan fashion, he replied, “Wait…that wasn’t in the script.”

Her eyes tilted slightly in a half-hearted roll, catching a glimpse of the city around them before returning to meet his bewildered stare. A faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she said the two simple words.

“I know.”

Because they’d spent their entire relationship teetering in two decayed orbits, missing one another with each revolution but coming together to form something ethereal.