Separated

A month and a half passed and the leaves began to fall off the trees, Hale’s friends still had yet to show up. This was, technically, Hale and I’s senior year, I mused, we had all the requirements, and more, that we needed to graduate. So we graduated this year. But anyway, back to the month passing, one day it began to snow. I was all mad because it’s not supposed to snow until all the leaves are gone. Hale just laughed at my ranting and hoped into the car. Our birthdays were in 3 days, which means we get to take our driving test in 3 days!

The chuffer dropped us off at school and we started to walk to class. Then Hale had to, quote, ‘pee like a mother’, so we stopped at the bathroom and I waited outside the door. Luckily, no rumors or anything had started about us. To the rest of the school, I was a shy sibling that needed the guidance of the strong and silent sibling, and we both just happened to be gay. End of story, apparently…

“Hale!” Someone called, it sounded like a girl. I didn’t even look, we had already explained to everyone that we won’t answer if you don’t call us by the right name.

“Hale! Hale! Hale!” The voice got closer. Don’t they get it? Have they not been here for a month? I’m not Hale! Well, sometimes I am, but that’s only when he doesn’t want to answer a question in science, and the teacher never calls on me…

Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder and another one pulling up my face. I found myself face to face with a girl who had died her hair white blonde on top and black on the bottom. She had her septum pierced (nose ring), the cartilage of her ear, and her eyebrow.

“Hale, you better listen to me when I talk to you!” She waved a finger in my face. I stood there, motionless, and completely freaked out.

“Who are you?” I asked, wide-eyed and fearful.

“Ha, you’re as hilarious as I remember, Hale!” She was about to say something else but her eyes started flickering back and forth between me and something else. I looked over and saw that Hale had come out of the bathroom.

“What is going on?” The girl shouted.

“W-who is this person?” I said, in a much softer tone.

“Hillary.” He said only answering me. He walked over beside me.

“There are two of you, which one is which? Or are they both the same?” She started babbling to herself.

“Hi,” I smiled at her. “You kind of scared me at first, but I’m Raine.” I stuck my hand out to her. She just started at it until I slowly lowered my hand. Then she started spewing nonsense.

"Obviously while I was gone the real Hale joined a scientific experiment and got cloned!" She said it like it was an 'aha' moment.

"Not, quite." I said and she gave me a funny look. "I really am his twin brother."

"I would have known he had a twin if he did." She scoffed and rolled her eyes. I looked at Hale for help.

"Hillary, I didn't even know I had a twin myself, how was I supposed to tell you?" Hale said gently.

"I don't believe, Hale would never call me that." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. I looked around and noticed that a crowd was forming around us. Hale seemed to notice as well.

"I don't wanna." He whined. "There's so many people, and you know, I would never call you that, in public."

"I won't believe you until you do." She held out 'do'.

"Fine." Hale grunted and sighed. Then he looked down at his feet and blushed. "Hillary is the queen of everything and controls my every move... Happy?" That wasn't that embarrassing, was it?

"Mm-mm" She shook her head. "That's not all of it."

"But Hillary!" He stiffened and blushed even more. "You told me I'd never have to say that! Ever! And look at all the people."

"My best friend doesn't care what people say or think about him." She looked him in the eyes. I was curious as to what he was going to say, but she was just being rude now. So, for the first time in my life I stood up for someone, everyone in the crowd was taken aback.

"Well then you don't know you're best friend, as well as you thought then." She looked startled at my tone of voice. "He's not your puppet, and he can do what he wants. If you don't really believe what he says then you aren't a good, friend now, are you?"

"I don't know if it's really him." She tried to stand up to me but my voice got even more menacing. I didn't even know I could sound like this, but I didn't let that get in the way of what I was saying.

"Really?" I scoffed. "Hale hates science and he would never risk his life to get a clone. Especially since everyone mixes us up, and who's really shy and usually needs help when he talks to people." My voice lowered into a murmur. "I'm really just a burden. I can't do anything special, and I still grieve over my parents. And he has to deal with it everyday, I shouldn't even be here." My revelation caused me to run out of the school. I felt everyone's eyes on me but I didn't care. I had to get out of here. I was just a waist of space; a problem that nagged at everyone.

"Raine!" I heard Hale call after me, but I didn't stop running. He was just going to comfort me and tell me everything is okay, which he shouldn't have to do. He should still be an only child who gets everything he wants and not some broken twin he's just met. My eyes became blurry from the tears spilling down my cheeks and I stumbled blindly into the woods. After ten minutes of crying and tripping I finally found a small clearing. I laid down in the middle of it and pulled my knees to my chest, I didn't care I was laying in the snow; I deserved it.

Tears poured out of my eyes. While everything people had said about me, and my low thoughts of myself started flying around my head. Flash of my past I had locked away started playing in my head. I had locked them all away because I wanted it to be different this year. I didn't want to have to hate myself. I used to cut and try and kill myself. I tried to look happy for my parents sake-they were really nice people- but everything everyone said about me hurt more than I let everyone see.

I'd thrown my razor away 6 months before my parents died, and the scars actually disappeared. They were so proud of me. They said that they'd always be there if I needed to talk about something, because they didn't want me to fall down to that level again. They lied. But I promised-for their sake-I wouldn't start again.

Yet all I can think is 'I need something sharp'. I tangle my hands in my shirt, trying not to allow them to pat the ground and find a rock. I have a new family; a new life. I can't go back to how I was. I almost died.

"I can't do it." I whimpered to myself. "I promised, I promised." I started shivering.

But they're dead, they can't do anything to stop you, don't you remember how good the pain felt? I started talking to myself, fighting an inner battle.

"I've made it a year and a half I can't go back I...can't...." I wanted to so bad. It used to feel so good.

"No!" I shouted. "Never again...never again."

"Raine?" I heard someone call as they exploded through the bushes on the other side of the clearing.

"Raine!" The shouted and suddenly they were next to me. It was Hale, of course I would cause him to waist more time of his life finding me. I'm so stupid.

"Go away." I muttered. "I've wasted enough of your time." He knelt beside my crumpled for and pulled my face up so I looked him in the eyes.

"Time spent with you is never waste." He said seriously.

"Yes it is, I'm broken, worthless, and a burden. I waste your time and you know it." Once my depression starts it's nearly impossible to pull me out of it.

"Raine, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'll never think you're a waste of my time." I didn't believe him.

"You're lying, they all do." My parents, my 'friends', and everyone I've ever known promises to stay but ends up leaving.

"You're parents didn't leave by choice." He said, reading my mind. "I'm sure, if they could, they'd be here right now. But then I'd never get to meet you, and see how perfect you are and how much more you deserve."

"I don't deserve anything." I believed him about my parents, they would never have left by choice.

"You're so sweet, and you just try to be nice to everyone. You even tried to stick up to Hillary for me. But then you think you're worthless, that no one wants you and that everyone leaves you on purpose. You deserve to be loved, and spoiled rotten, not have everything taken away from you all the time." He smiled weakly at me. "I can only do one of those things for you, now, though."

"And what is that?" I said, feeling a little bit better.

"Even though we've only known each other for a month...I love you." He told me. I was taken off guard.

"I-I love you too." I said, feeling much better now. He slammed his lips to mine, and I cherished every moment of the kiss.

He's the only one who's ever been able to get me out of my depression without pills, and really quickly. He was amazing.