Remembering the Ghost of You

September 26th, 1944

I was just about to remove Eserie’s when Bob ran in screaming and tackled me. I’d never seen him like this before and I was worried until he shoved a picture in front of my nose. Susan was holding a tiny baby.
“She had it! He was born on the first! I’m a father! I’m a father! I’m a father!” he screamed and laughed and jumped around. Esmerie was laughing and I couldn’t help but smile.
“What’s his name?” I asked and Bob smiled and sat on the floor next to the pallet.
“Robert Bryar Jr,” he said as he wiped happy tears from his eyes. “I can’t believe it,” he added more quietly.
“Can I see?” Esmerie asked him and he leaned over to show her the picture.
“This is my wife Susan and this is my son,” he told her and she nodded.
“When you go home?” she asked him and I watched sadness cross his face.
“October 1945,” he told her.
“When is it now?”
“September 1944,” I told her. “Bob has over a year here.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because we are fighting the war. You know the bad people that were here?” I asked as I began removing the cast and she nodded. “They are still out there and we’ve got to make them go away.”
“Are they going to come get me?!” she suddenly cried and I shook my head.
“You will never see them again, I promise,” I told her and smiled. I hoped she’d never see them again. I’d do everything in my power to keep her away from them. I’d save her which was something I couldn’t do for Mikey.
“And he will. Gerard is good at protecting people,” Bob told her. She smiled and I forced myself to not think of Mikey.
“Ready to go for a walk?” I asked her after inspecting her leg. It looked much better and there was almost no swelling left.
“YES!” she cried and I stood and then lifted her up. I held her arms up as if I were teaching a toddler to walk for the first time. She stood on her good leg for a moment before putting the other down.
“I’m going to go find Frankie,” Bob said and I nodded. He ran off and I smiled. Robert Jr was adorable and I was happy for him. I wished he could go home sooner though.
“VITE!” she shouted as she tugged at me to let her go faster.
“You’ve got to go slower,” I told her and walked her to the entrance of the tent. I sat her on a chair and picked up a coat and pair of boots one of the nurses had brought in for her. “Now these might now fit well, but it’s better then bare feet.” I told her as I tucked her feet into the boots.
“Allons-y! Allons-y!” she called and I helped her up again. I was afraid to let her hands go not because I thought she might get injured but because I was pretty sure she’d try to run off. In a way it reminded me of Frank. I led her down to the church where I figured I might find him
Sure enough he was leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette covered in dirt from a day of digging holes. “Well look at you up and about!” he said to Esmerie and ruffled her hair. I smiled and picked her up.
“Have you seen Bob?” I asked and he nodded.
“I’m hiding from the crazy man. He jumped into the hole I was digging and tackled me to the ground. I’ve never seen him like that. I thought he was possessed,” he laughed and offered me a cigarette.
“Yeah he sure is crazy,” I added and let him light the cigarette since I was holding Esmerie.
“You got a letter,” Frank said after a moment and held out the envelope to me. I hadn’t written Rebecca yet and was surprised she’d written to me.

Dear Gerard,
Stop avoiding me and just write a letter. I’m sorry for the last one I wrote but I’m just so emotional right now. I’ve been invited to Chicago to see Susan and the baby though. I’m looking forward to that. Frankie wrote to me and said that you were doing okay and that made me glad to hear. God I wish I could just hug you. I miss you so much and I still can’t believe Mikey is gone. It doesn’t seem real. I long for both of you to just wander into my kitchen and steal peppermints from the dish on the counter. Just be safe Gerard.
Your mother is heavily drugged in the hospital right now and is so out of it. She keeps calling me Rachel, as if I’m her sister. She won’t talk about either of you or your father. The doctors said the shock has caused that part of her memory to temporarily shut off. I’m sorry, but I’m sure when you come home she’ll change. She wanted to see you both so badly. I wish you were coming home sooner.
I’ve still been conversing with Victor and he told me that he’s headed for Germany. Frank said that you were still in Paris though. I’m glad you aren’t on the front. I can’t lose you too. And I’ve heard you’re taking care of a little girl? She must be so sweet. I never thought of you as one to interact so much with children though. I guess it’s in your blood since you always looked after us and Mikey.
Samantha misses you too, but she’s been busy learning nursing stuff. I don’t want her to leave; none of us do, but like Mikey her mind is set. I wish I knew what I wanted to do in life. Everything made sense when I was younger and now I just feel lost. I want you back home. I want everyone back and just return to a time when things made sense in the world. I’ll probably spend more time with Susan once Samantha is gone. I can barely stand being in my house as it is. I’m glad I got to meet her. It’s nice to have friends in different places.
Don’t get mad at Frankie for writing to me. He just wanted me to know that you were still alive and just unsure of what to say to me. I’m taking good care of everyone here though. Don’t worry about us, just concentrate on staying alive and coming home to us. We’ve heard good things about the war. They said Normandy was a huge success. Perhaps this dreadful war will end soon and you’ll come home.
I can’t wait to see you again and I’ll always be waiting for your return. I pray for your safety everyday.
Love, Rebecca

My eyes watered as I folded the letter back up. “She’s going to see Susan and the baby,” I told Frank and he nodded.
“Who?” Esmerie asked me and rested her head against my shoulder.
“My friend Rebecca,” I said and pulled out the picture I had of us. “She’s older now though,” I added and Esmerie nodded.
“Mikey?” she asked and pointed to little Mikey and I nodded. “And you?”
“Yes,” I told her and then tucked the picture and letter away. “Thanks for writing to her,” I told Frank and he shrugged.
“Someone had to let her know that you were alive and just afraid to write to her,” he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes.
“Come on Esmerie, let’s go find Bob and tell him where Frankie is hiding,” I said and she smiled. I set her down so she could walk some more.
“You better not!” Frank warned and I just laughed.
“Bye Frankie!” Esmerie called as we headed back towards the medical tent.
“Bye Esmerie! Keep Gerard out of trouble!” he added and she laughed. Hearing her laugh made me smile more. I think if the world spent more time laughing there wouldn’t need to be so much blowing each other up.