Remembering the Ghost of You

October 10th, 1945

This is my first time in New York City and it’s more crowded then I imagined. Ever since the ship docked it felt like a dream. Most soldiers went immediately home, but I had other business to attend to first. I took a bus and then a cab to get to the small two flat that bore the address on the envelope. Esmerie spent time staring at the buildings and the people. It did look very different from the run down city she was used to.
I picked her up and rang the bell. Ray had tried to convince me to go home first, but I knew if I did then I’d never be able to come here. An old man opened the door slightly.
“Who are you?” he asked with a heavy German accent.
“Hello, I’m Gerard Way and I am part of the United States army. I was recently in Paris and later Germany.”
“I am here legally,” he told me and moved to shut the door.
“No! I have a letter for you from Greta!” I said and he stopped.
“Greta?” he asked his face paling and I held the letter out. He opened the door to let us in. “Where is she?” I felt my heart sink and took off my hat as I stepped in.
“She passed away in May,” I said quietly. He stared at me blankly. An old woman then came around the corner and he explained who I was in German. I saw tears in her eyes as she turned to me.
“Did they …?” the man asked and I nodded. I knew what he was asking.
“I found Greta there and I took her to Paris to take care of her,” I said and they looked shocked.
“He brought me a sister,” Esmerie said and the old woman motioned for is to take a seat on the couch. They then opened their letter. I hadn’t read mine yet, but I had read Esmerie’s to her. She now sleeps with it in her pocket or under her pillow.
“You took her to the ocean?” the man asked and I nodded.
“She uh told me she always wanted to see the ocean. I got permission to go and that’s where she passed away,” I told them and they were both crying.
“She was happy there. Don’t be sad. She told me that being at the ocean was one of the nicest things someone had done for her and it helped erase all the bad in the world,” Esmerie explained.
“Thank you,” the woman finally said. She then came over and wrapped her arms around us. “Thank you.”
“And here,” Esmerie said and pulled her drawings out of her pocket. “She drew this for you.” She handed the woman a drawing Greta did of her and Esmerie wearing my uniform coats back in Paris. She was fairly good at drawing. She had drawn me a similar picture. The woman said something in German to the man before taking the picture.
“I am Hans Swartzberg and we are grateful. You didn’t have to do that for her,” he said and I shrugged.
“I wanted to. I already took in one kid so another wasn’t a problem. I just wish I could have saved more,” I said.
“We can’t save everyone,” he said and I nodded. Mrs. Swartzberg returned carrying a necklace with the Star of David on it.
“This was Greta’s, but I think she’d want you to have it now,” she told Esmerie who nodded.
“Merci,” Esmerie said with a smile.

The rest of the afternoon I told them about the time I spent with Greta and Esmerie talked about the games they’d play. But then the time of our bus was drawing near and I was getting antsy. I hadn’t been home in eighteen months and this was it. I was going home.

“Why aren’t the buses running Gerard?” Esmerie asked as I paced the bus stop terminal. Due to the pouring rain and low temperatures the buses had stopped running for the night.
“The rain,” I said with a sigh. We were so close and now this. I sat back down on the bench where Esmerie was coloring. “What are you drawing?”
“A picture for Fighter when he gets home,” she said and I saw that she was drawing a picture of a bunch of dogs. “I already drew one for Michael,” she said and held up a picture of the ocean. I smiled and pulled blankets out of my pack.
“You should sleep,” I told her and pulled her close. She sighed and leaned against me. I had called Rebecca, who was getting us from the bus station when we got in, but there had been no answer. I assumed she’d be able to figure out that we weren’t going to be on the bus tonight. Esmerie yawned and I laughed as her eyes started to drift shut when her crayons were still clutched tightly in her hands. I but her crayons in their box and pulled her closer. We weren’t the only ones stranded in here and I was glad it was really warm. I’d had enough of sleeping in freezing temperatures to last me a life time.