Been to Hell

By the time we were finally left alone for the first time today, we were in the back of the helicopter. To be honest, we weren’t really alone but it was as close as we are going to get. The only people in here with us were the two people who were in the front of the aircraft. One was flying the plane, and the other was the nurse who was to monitor us on our two hour ride to Florida. Of course she was to busy flirting with that pilot to notice anything, and the sound of the chopper masked our voices no matter how loud we talked.

“Are you feeling okay?” I questioned to Zane, who had his head tilted back so he could see out the tiny window. I had grown worried about him when I realized that he was normally the one taking care of me. He hasn’t been to the hospital in lord knows how long, He may never had a broken bone.

“Ya, I’m fine. I kind of feel high.” He whispered, not looking at me but reaching his handout for mine.

I allowed my arm to stretch away from my cot to interlace my fingers with his. But I also found it hard to look out the window, it made me feel nauseous. So, I just averted all my attention to the soft warm blanket that was coating me. It was a dull brown color and Charlie had said that it was cotton. He also told me that the stuffed dogs he had given me was actually a heating pads. On its belly there was a Velcro pouch that you could either place an ice pack or a heating pad in. He told me that I would probably get cold, so he thought of me when he found these before he want to the hospital. He had placed one at the small of my back, one behind my neck, and one underneath my knees. He offered Zane the stuffed cat ones that he had bought him, but Zane refused and said that he would feel stupid laying with a bunch of stuffed animals. But hell, I was already cold before I got here was thrilled to find out that Charlie got me a heated stuffed animal.

“Are you cold? I can let you use one of my animals.” This time he laughed at me question. I found myself blushing, what was so funny? He turned to me, his green eyes twinkling.

“No, I’m good. Don’t worry, your starting to act like me when your sick. Besides, do you think I am going to get caught cuddling with a stuffed animal?” He chuckled, tightening his fingers on mine. Just in case I was ready to pull away. But I already know that I was no letting go, I am already worried enough.

I smirked. “You are such a baby, besides the damn thing is soft. Not to mention that its warm. I don’t know about you, but without it I would be freezing.”

“You are always cold anyway.” He smiled. He was oddly happy, I was beginning to wonder if the further away from his step father he was; the happier he got. But, that would be a good thing on my part so why am I complaining? “How are you feeling?”

“Fine, pain pills are a god send.” I purred, turning to him as well. I found myself cuddling into the fur of the stuffed animal. He smiled once more then frowned a bit, looking back at hw window once more.

“They talked to me last night when you were sleeping, and I want you to think about what I am going to tell you.” He informed. I found myself frowning this time, I could already tell this wasn’t going to be good. But I was willing to consider it just because Zane asked me to, I wanted to make some sort of effort to hear him out no matter what it is. “They told me that it would be wise to think about joining the army. Just because jobs are hard to find out there.”

I found my heart breaking inside my chest. No, I could not live without him. Just thinking about a situation where he may never come back wounded me. I cannot live though a day with fear that someone would be walking to my door, a boxed flag in hand. I could already hear it now, ‘Emily Grands, your husband gave his life in battle. You have our sincere apology.’

My head shook. “Zane, no. That would be horrible. We have lived on the bear minimum, we can do it again. I’m okay with oatmeal every night. Please, I can’t bear to live without you.”

I could tell I sounded desperate, but can you tell me that you could live without your true love? I cannot bare to live without waking up to Zane, feeling his lips on mine ever morning. I couldn’t do it, I don’t think he could either.

“Do you really think we can make it with the bare minimum again? Cause if you think we can, I am willing to try it.” He shot a small smile at me and my fingers tightened on his once more. “Don’t be scared, I promise I’m not going to leave you unless I have to.”

“That’s good to hear.” I tried to smile back but I found it so hard that I couldn’t do anything but frown. I’m to scared that I am going to loose him.