Can't Finish What You Started

I Can't Explain. I Need to Be Alone

"But...I don't really want to be in love with Frank... I don't wanna mess around with him or fuck him or any of that shit... I don't even know what's going on anymore, or where all these crazy thoughts are coming from. I- I don't know... I think I'm losing it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you, or waste your time or-"

At this point of our discussion, I was crying. "I'm so sorry, Gee. I-I didn't ever mean for all this to happen." I paused, sobbing with increasing volume. "I mean it was just supposed to be a joke. A stupid fucking joke and now its become this...this crazy confusing mess!"

"What are you talking about, Marrissa?" Gerard asked.

"I-I don't know how to explain... I don't think I can, and I don't know what would happen to you or any of the others if I even tried. I- I'm sorry, Gee..." I ran away from him, choking back more tears.

Making matters worse, I knew next I had to go find an equally confused and probably pissed off Frank.

But instead I bumped into Justin. "Whoa, man, what's wrong?" he asked, immediately concerned.

"I've ruined everything!" I answered.

He looked confused and oddly uncomfortable. I don't think he likes it when things get really serious. All the same, he tried to be comforting in his own socially inept way. (Which actually made me feel better than a non-Justin approach would have.)

He awkwardly hugged me. I put my arms around him and buried my face into his shoulder. Ugh, crying on shoulders is sappy and unlike me, and I didn't want to, but at this point I couldn't stop myself.

At that moment, I think he may have given up on words. They seemed to fail him. Damn, I must be in it pretty bad if words fail Justin Pierre.

I didn't want it to ever end, but, of course, it had to. I heard an arguement starting up in the other room and I had to go.

"Dammit, Frank! I'm sorry, it just seemed like the thing to do!" I heard Gerard cry.

"Gerard, we both have girlfriends!" was the reply.

"I know. I- I don't know what's happening, but I wish it wasn't. I miss us just being friends."

"Well, how do you expect us to be "just friends" if you keep acting like that?!"

"God Dammit, Frank! I said I was sorry!!" was Gerard's final plea.

"Justin, I- I gotta go solve this somehow, if at least temporarily," I said, reluctantly breaking the embrace.

"Marrissa, what's going on?" Justin questioned, finally regaining speech.

"I can't explain...at least not now. I'm sorry, Justin," I almost spilled out the phrase "I love you" at the end but I stopped myself. The last thing this messed-up story needed was more confusion. (Especially considering that I never fancied myself in love with Justin Pierre until that moment.)

As I walked away I saw Billie Joe randomly appear behind Justin. "Waffle?" He said, offering a plate with miscellaneous breakfast items on it.

"Not now, Billie," Justin answered, for once becoming the most serious person in a conversation.