Voices

This will take you nowhere.
I know.
Then why are you doing it?
It makes me warmer.
Go cover yourself up with a blanket.
I don’t want to.
Why not?
It doesn’t smell like me.
Well, it doesn’t exactly stink.
No, not at all.
So?
It’s too much.
And this is not?
Not yet. I know the right measure.
Oh really? In everything?
I’m afraid so.
You don’t have to be afraid if you know you’re right.
I never said I was right.
I don’t understand you.
Me neither.
I’m trying to, though.
Don’t.
Because?
You’ll never understand me.
You’re hard to understand, but not impossible.
Not to everyone.
Is anyone in your mind all the way? Seeing your thoughts, hearing your wishes?
You are.
You know what I mean.
Yes.
Then?
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe that’s too much. Maybe no one’s meant to understand me.
So, that’s what you’re afraid of.
No. Not of understanding. Of the actions that come with the realization. Of the sounds I’ll never hear again. Of the laugh that won’t come past the metal gate. Of all the dreams that may shatter only because I was too weak to leave them as they are.
But what if it turns out right?
It would be the best thing in my entire life.
And you still won’t try?
What do you know? You’re just a voice in my head.
How do you know I wasn’t put here by someone real, someone close to you?
Because you’re just a product of too much alcohol.
*
Hey, are you alright?
Yeah. Or I’ll be, at least. My head just hurts a bit.
Have you never thought of maybe, just maybe, just once, listening to that tiny voice in your head that knows what you’re supposed to do, and what not?
Yeah. I have.