Damn the Day I Met You

I stare at the brochure for study abroad. What would be so bad about spending junior year in another country? Nothing at all. But all my friends were going to Italy. It’s not that I have anything against Italy. I love the country. I just don’t know if I want to live there for a year.

And then there’s my parents. They like it when I visit my family. Well, my dad really likes it when I visit the family. Living there though? I don’t know what they would do. Probably move out there, that’s what they’d do.

At the same time though, they might be supportive. Why not? It’s not like I’m going to a foreign country. I visit there often, have family and friends there, and even speak Italian. So why am I so hesitant about this?

Zach. That’s why. Maybe this would be the sign that we should break up. There’s no reason why I should feel hesitant to be spending a whole year in Italy with my boyfriend of two years. But then I’d be just be questioning myself too much. Zach’s a great guy and even my parents like him, which can be quite a rarity when it comes to guys. And since he is going on the study-abroad, I can’t exactly say no. how would that look? Me saying I don’t want to go on a trip he’s going on? Yeah, bad signals right there.

Now though, it’s like I’m following a boy across the world. Who in their right mind would do that? Definitely not someone like me. Like I said though, it’s expected of me to go. At least by my friends and professors it is.

Plus no matter how much my mom freaks out, I’ll just ignore her like always. That’s probably part of the reason I want to go; because she wants me to stay. And I totally understand her reasoning too. She doesn’t want me to get drunk, pregnant, and drop out of school. Though like I’ve told her many times before: I’m not her. Also, if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t exist right now. So thank you Italian wine!

And I know Italian. It wouldn’t make sense for me to go to some country where I don’t know how to speak the language. At least in Italy, I’ll be able to take classes and understand what they’re saying.

A pair of arms wrap around me and I smile seeing Zach in the reflection of the window. “don’t tell me you still haven’t signed up.”

“sorry, but I’d have to tell you that.”

He groans and lets go of me, running a hang through his hair, “we’ve gone over this a lot Katie. Didn’t you already decide to go?”

“yes…and then I thought about it again. I don’t know, it’s just a big commitment.”

This is about the time a fight usually happens between the two of us. “commitment? At least you have the money to waste. That deposit I put in is what I saved for the trip. I’m going no matter what.”

Zach grew up with a life opposite of mine. His mom left when he was just a toddler and he was raised by his dad. Luckily, his dad wasn’t into drugs or alcohol, but still, there wasn’t much money for them to just spend. Along with that, there was definitely no tv appearances, media following him, or as I’d like to call it, privacy invasions. In my mind, I’d much rather have his life, but he feels the other way.

“I know Zach. But don’t be complaining too much about that. I offered to pay for it and you said no. Don’t act like you didn’t have access to the money.” I didn’t really enjoy talking about money with Zach, better yet fighting about it. It made me feel like we were going to get married or something.

“you know I could never accept money from you.”

This also was a common sentence of his. I don’t know why he keeps saying it. I have money to spend and I might as well spend it on my boyfriend. I know he would do the same if the situation was switched.

“okay, I’ll go down and add my name to the list, happy?”

“ecstatic,” he answers sarcastically.

I glance back down at the brochure, looking over the pictures that were so obviously digitally redone. In two months I’d be there in Italy, and this time I’d be staying a whole year.