Damn the Day I Met You

I did end up changing my plans. After a perfect night with Lucy and an even better morning with Tristan, I couldn’t help it. I screwed up, I was taking blame for that, and now I was going to fix it. With the help of my parents of course. This is where my change of plans came in. Instead of heading straight to New York I made a quick detour to visit my parents. If anyone could knock some sense into me it was them.

They weren’t as happy to see me as one would think. Both of them wanted me back in Italy pronto, not understanding why or how I could leave. I on the other hand was not about to go back to Italy and admit I was wrong. Sure, I want to win him back, but he’d never let me live that one down. My pride, once again, was getting in the away of my decision making.

Currently we were standing in the airport discussing whether I should buy a ticket to Italy, or take the jet to New York. “Then just go back to New York, get readjusted, and go on from there. You haven’t even unpacked yet. So if you won’t hop onto a plane to Italy, at least hop onto one to New York.” My dad tells me, practically handing me my packed bag.

“Fine. I’ll head home for a bit and figure this out on my own. No thanks to you two.”

“Just to be sure, you’re not pregnant are you? Because that changes—”

“NO! Oh my god mom, no I’m not pregnant. That wouldn’t be possible.”

“It’s only 99%—”

My dad interrupts her and changes the topic. “Take the jet, it will be faster.”

“Of course it will dad.”

“And if you want us to come with you to unpack, tell me now.”

“I’ve got it dad. Goodness, I’m not that much of a mess. You don’t need to show up at my doorstep every time something goes whacky.”

He just smiles and hugs me, “come on, that’s exactly what dads are supposed to do.”

My mom pulls me into a hug, “I’m sorry there’s nothing more we can do sweetie, it’s just this is something you need to figure out on your own. You have a life here in New York and I would hate for you to throw that away just because of some guy. Then again, you don’t find a guy like Tristan very often; he sure is one to keep around.”

“Wow, you’re even worse at giving advice in a time like this. I’ll just head out. See you both in a month or so right?”

“Maybe sooner. We’ll see when we can make it down there.” She kisses my cheek, “Call me when you get home.” I nod and wave to them both before heading off in the direction of our jet.

It didn’t take long after landing to have my mom call me. She always had this habit of calling and asking why I hadn’t called yet, the obvious reason being that I wasn’t home yet. For some reason this didn’t connect in her head.

“You know what we never thought of?” She asks with an overly sweet tone to her voice.

“What mother?” I groan and lean back in the cab. This was so not the way I wanted to spend my ride home.

“Well, Ben is American.”

“Ben? Tristan’s’ father? Why are we talking about him?”

“If Ben is an American citizen, sweetie, that means Tristan and Lucy are too.”

“So? Mom, Tristan would never leave everything behind in a time like this. There’s too much risk involved. Maybe if we were getting married things would change. But right now, in the midst of this craziness it just wouldn’t happen.”

“I’m just saying, it’s an option neither of you discussed.”

“Because there was nothing too discuss. I’m not asking Tristan to do that, just like he isn’t asking me to. We’re going to try this long distance thing out. I did a lot of thinking on my flight and realized that I was kind of love blind during the whole time in Italy. I didn’t think once about my life over here until the very end. It was like I was in paradise, but eventually that had to end. It will be good to get back to reality for bit. This time a part will allow us to actually think about what is important for us.

I could practically hear her shaking her head, “Like I said, don’t write anything off before you look at all the options. Maybe this dual citizenship you both have could work in your favor. Makes paperwork easier, that’s for sure.”

“Fine, I’ll think about it okay?” Knowing that’s the only thing I could say to get her to shut-up. “I need to go now though. Love you and I’ll see you soon.” I hang up before she could go into another lecture on love. I pull my bags through my door and stop to look around. The apartment, which was kept up by a few friends, looked exactly how I had left it a year ago. The only things missing were of Zach’s, and I couldn’t be happier to see them gone. I leave my luggage at the door and walk through the apartment a bit, slowly getting used to everything again. Stopping at my office I jump slightly when my eyes notice someone reading the newspaper.

Figuring that the only person in the world I know who is commonly found at my desk reading a newspaper is my father, I was more than surprised to find him here now. Of course, he and mom easily could have made the trip quicker than me simply by jumping on a friend’s jet and leaving before mine. And I’m sure they both figured I needed more help once I actually got home. “Dad, I already told you, you didn’t need to come over.”

“Hey Katie,” I almost faint when I hear the little girls voice and my eyes snap back to the desk in front of me, “Did you know the president holds his own science fair.” Lucy asks, setting down the paper and smiling up at me.

“Yes-I’ve heard that.” I pause trying to focus my mind, “What are you doing here?”

“It took us about 30 seconds after you left to realize we didn’t want to lose you.”

“We?”

I jump for the third time in the last minute when a pair of arms wraps themselves around me. “We,” Tristan says, his breath tickling my skin.

I turn in his arms, looking up at the man I left just days earlier, “Tristan…” We just stand there and stare at each other. Words weren’t necessary right now, just the acknowledgement of our future. When I finally broke the gaze to blink I notice that Lucy had snuck out of the room.

“She’s with your parents.” Tristan answers my silent question. Though it still left me as confused as ever. “I—we—couldn’t do it without you.”

“Tristan, I—” by now the tears were free falling and I couldn’t hold back. “I-I can’t. Not now. We agreed to long distance.”

He drops my hands and swears under his breath. “I spend all of my money to fly out here and pull an over the top romantic gesture out of your favorite movie. I’m standing here, in front of you, taking care of your biggest fear of being like your parents. I’m giving up literally everything to be here and you can’t?”

“Tristan, you guys are in Italy. I thought we agreed to wait the year. That I would visit as much as I could and we would see where we were in a year. Right now I need to unpack. I need to sign up for classes. I need to get back into the normal, drama-free life I have here.”

Tristan slides against the wall to the floor, confusion and surprise evident on his face. “Do you have any idea what ‘everything’ really means?" I shrug, not having an answer. “I quit all of my jobs, Katie. I sold my car. I kept the house only because I didn’t have the time to put it up for sale. I dropped out of school. I took Lucy out of school. I signed away my rights to the one girl who has always had my heart. All to stick by one woman who has always had my heart.” He laughs a cold sad laugh, “And for what? You can’t mess with people’s emotions like this Katie. I know you’re not this cruel of a person. I know you’re scared. But this, this is not okay. I can’t wait around forever until you’ve decided to face your fears.” Standing up, he lets out a sigh and leans against the wall. “You know what is totally twisted about all of this? In some messed up way this is how you show you love me. You didn’t treat Zach like this. You weren’t scared of that relationship because you didn’t think it would last. It was safe, yet you weren’t emotionally invested. But us, you run for the hills every time it gets serious. You say you’re scared of ending up like your parents, yet whenever I show you that won’t happen you do everything to make sure it does.”

I couldn’t help but cry in both happiness and pain. His words were true and they hurt. I didn’t want to be left behind so I continued to be the one to leave. Only problem is that I never wanted to leave and we both knew it.

“This is the last time Katie. I’m here in New York for you. I am currently enrolled at NYU, Lucy is going to be adopted by your parents, and there is a ring in my pocket waiting for the right moment. But if you tell me to leave, I will. I will walk out that door and I will never turn back. The ball is in your court now.”

He was staring at me, I didn’t look up to prove it, but I knew. Never had a silence been as painful as it is right at this moment. He knew the truth, the truth that I was hiding. He knew absolutely everything there was to know about me and yet he still loves me. How can I say no to that? Easily it turns out. Because even though everything seemed to be perfect, it wouldn’t stay like that. And who enters a relationship so fast like I did? It’s called a rebound for a reason; you’re not supposed to keep it on that side of the court forever.

I don’t know if I was silent for seconds or minutes, but however long it was, was too long for Tristan. He pushes himself from the wall, “Well I guess there’s my answer.”

“Wait.” I shout after, finally finding my voice. He stops walking but doesn’t turn to face me. Silence once again fell over us.

He slightly turns to me, his eyes dark and glaring unlike I’ve ever seen them before. “For what? What am I waiting for Katie?”

I wanted to say me. I wanted to tell him I love him and that I was trying to change. I wanted to acknowledge everything he gave up for me, ask about what was meant with the adoption, with school. But nothing would come out and I was left there staring at the empty spot Tristan once was. He left and for good this time.