Let's Drink for Memories We Shared

And you thought it would be funny to keep me hanging in suspense
Then I'd run over to your house and I'd scale the chain link fence
That borders your back yard and then I'd climb through your window
And I'd whisper that I love you as you fall out of your clothes

And we'd lay there in the darkness like this dream of you I had
Where we captured all the fireflies and knew what time we had
Could be counted on our fingertips and that almost made you cry
But you let me hold you tightly as we said all our goodbyes
May I say I loved you more

And it must've been an hour that I clutched you in my arms
And I must have said the right things because you instantly felt warm
And you heard my heart stop beating and you wanted not to cry
As your sympathetic whispers they told a tale of bad goodbyes

You swore you heard me laughing and I swore I saw you smile
AS the time we've spent together was meant to last us quite a while
As I take this piece of you with me I'll carry to my grave

And knowing that for someone you're an angel sent to save
(Keep Breathing my angel, if you go down I go with you)

May I saw I loved you more
So let's drink to memories we shared
Down one for all the hopes and cares
Here's too for being unaware that you're gone
Because before too long you'll be a memory
(let's drink to memories we shared)
Before too long you'll be a memory
(down one for all the hopes and cares)
Because before too long you'll be a memory
Here's two for being unaware
Because before too long you'll be a memory

Those song lyrics stood too true; for me at least. Where was life planning on taking me when I was just wallowing in memories. I lived by those lyrics.

Every night I would lie in bed just looking back and thinking of all the memories. We shared so many, Katie, there's not nearly enough hours in a night to replay them all. But I remember them all; every single one in vivid colored detail.

But every morning, I wake up and feel the pain; the loss of you, and that you're just a memory now. Nothing more, not even a person now. You were at one point in time and history, but now you're my angel and memories.

Brooks says I drink too much now, but it's to relieve the pain. The night haunts me, though, I need something that makes me feel numb and forget. I won't let myself live anymore, it's not worth it because one day the guilt will kill me.

But I guess so will the alcohol. As I sit here, writing this, I realize more and more that you'd want me to go out an live rather than just trying to stay with you; when you already left me. Katie, you'd want me to be happy, but I'm unsure of how to be happy without you down here. We had so many things planned, wonderful plans, but then that terrible thing happened.

Brooks doesn't like leaving me alone, he believes I'm going to do something completely irrational, but even I am not that idiotic.

I can't say I miss you enough, but I suppose I'll stop pitying myself, something I've never done before. I've never felt so broken and useless, but I have a purpose in life, we all do. I'll finally listen to your dying words, don't kill yourself over it, be happy.

I'm going to fix myself for you. No one's over your death and I don't think those closest to you will ever be, but well must proceed and try to move on.

Love you my angel,

- Derek

PS: You go down, I'll go with you