Love Game

Jacoby's P.O.V.

Two months. That’s how long it’s been since the last time I saw Jordana, and it’s been fucking hell. I can’t believe I was actually stupid enough to let her go. After everything she had said, telling me she was willing to make it work if I left Jess. Somehow I had trouble believing that I could be a good dad without marrying Jess. And now I realized how stupid I sounded when I said that Jordana and I could still see each other. God, she must think I’m a giant dick. And there wasn’t any point in going to her. She did everything she could to keep me away, and she wouldn’t believe me if I told her I left Jess. She knew me enough to tell when I was lying.

Jess was around a little bit more, but the more she was around, the more I realized I couldn’t stand her. I wouldn’t necessarily say I hated her, but I hated every second I was around her. How the hell did I expect a marriage with her to work? The kid’s life was going to be a fucking hell.

“I don’t know why you’re even trying to pretend,” Jerry commented.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. The guys and I had gotten to work on some news songs that we were fixing to start recording.

“Please, everyone can see you’re fucking miserable,” Tobin said. “Why stay?”

“Got to. She’s having a kid.”

“So?”

“Dude, you love Cate, not Jess,” Tony said. “Why punish yourself?”

“I think she made it clear that she didn’t want to see me again.”

“But she’d probably be willing to talk to you if you would just leave the bitch that you’re only with because you think it’s the right thing,” Jerry replied.

“No one likes seeing you like this,” Tobin added. “Makes things hell.”

“I don’t miss her,” I lied.

“So who’s the love song about?” Tony asked. “Can’t be Jess because you’re looking for every excuse to not be around her.”

“Can you guys just shut up and mind your own damn business?” I snapped. “It’s my decision.” They fell silent for a few moments.

“What would you do if you knew that Cate was just as miserable, if not more, as you are?” Jerry asked. I snapped my head towards him.

“What do you know?” I demanded.

“Not much. Just that she’s not her usual self anymore.”

“You can see it in the more recent ads that she’s featured in,” Tobin added. “Not the same look in her eyes. More sad and lifeless.”

“I wouldn’t know,” I replied. And I didn’t. I avoided anything that she’d be featured in.

“Maybe you should get over yourself and realize that your decision affects more than just you,” Tony said. I stood up and stormed out, not wanting to hear anymore. I was trying so damn hard to forget about Jordana, and they weren’t making it any easier.

“Hey, honey,” Jess said as I walked inside the house and kissing my cheek. I wanted so badly to hear Jordana’s voice saying that to me.

“Hi,” I replied.

“So this whole being a mother thing is going to be great,” she gushed. “There are so many things out there. I’m getting so excited.” I nodded, not really listening. “And you want to know what the best thing about this pregnancy is?”

“What’s that?” Why wouldn’t she just go away?

“These hormones make me really horny,” she whispered in my ear, nibbling the lobe. I sighed. I didn’t want to do it, but I did. I couldn’t help but think of Jordana though. Jordana could do things to me in bed that no other woman could do. Hell, everything Jordana did in bed was different than any other woman. She’d take control, take risks. Jess just kind of laid there, making her noises and shit. The only thing that helped me was imaging that I was with Jordana, not Jess.

I almost slipped up. I almost said “I love you.” I don’t. I only love Jordana. I don’t think I ever had those feelings for Jess. I just didn’t know it until I met Jordana and managed to completely forget about Jess.

Once Jess had her fun, I got up and took a shower. I wanted every last remnant of her washed off of me. It didn’t feel right. I wanted to just go away. What the hell was I thinking? Here I was, getting ready to marry some girl I couldn’t stand, when I really wanted to go back to L.A. and tell Jordana how much I missed her and never let her go again.

Why was I so fucking stupid?