Through the Afterglow

I stare at the test results in my hand from Jazlyn's blood test, shaking my head and chewing on my lip. Aggravated and on the verge of tears, I turned up the radio in my office, blaring “Melrose Diner” by The Wonder Years and tugging on my hair.

I was getting so fucking sick and tired of babying Jazlyn. I mean, she was my best friend in the whole world, but the pain that rippled through my body at the face she made when I came into the room with the needle, with the ultrasound cart, with anything. It was like I was killing her by continuing it. Honestly, I had been one of her doctors the first time around, and goddammit, there was nothing left. We had killed it because we caught it early.

The pens on my desk were on the floor before I could even grab the ringing phone in my desk drawer, not bothering to turn down the music that surely was waking patients. Whatever. I could deal with complaints. I was the fucking head of the diagnostic department here. “Dr. Stephens,” I growled, and I heard Brian chuckle on the other end, and I almost died. I had answered my cell phone, not my desk phone. God, today was getting more and more stressful.

“Rough morning?” He asked, and I gave a dark chuckle, turning down the radio and picking the pens up off my nicely carpeted floor. I had probably the nicest office in the entire hospital, which an entire wall dedicated to windows looking over the the courtyard, surrounded by the hospital itself.

“You have no idea,” I said, looking down at the blotter on my desk and realizing I had to call and tell Jazlyn the good – and expected – news. She wouldn't understand, would request more tests. This time I was going to put my foot down. I couldn't do this forever. Because one day, I was going to get one back and my worst fears would be confirmed, and it would be all my fault. Again.

Brian chuckled again, and I heard him yell something at Jess before the silence turned up and the noise left the other line. “How'd you like to grab lunch? I mean, unless you're swamped at the hospital.” I looked at the chart on my laptop, and saw that I had a case briefing at noon, but that was still an hour and a half away. I chewed my lip, weighed my options, and decided that if worst came to worst, I was really good at running in heels.

“Sure, if you wanna pick me up like, now,” I said, blushing furiously as Brian chuckled and set his voice down a few tones and I could just see him winking in that adorable way he did, still a tad bit awkward.

“Anything for you, princess.” Brian's voice was sweet, delicate, like he was scared that his words were going to hurt me. I smiled, and hung up, began shuffling papers back to my desk and tugging on my hair before deciding that it belonged in a messy bun on top of my head.

Brian was standing in the lobby, arguing with the security guard to do see me. I gently touched Dave's, my favorite guard here, arm and smiled up him. “No worries, Dave. He's with me,” I said, and my lips nearly fell off my lips as I looked at Brian, wearing loose skinny jeans and a Glamour Kills shirt, sunglasses hanging from the neck as he gently kissed my cheek, grabbing my hand and leading me towards his car.

As he opened the door, he beamed. “Look! I cleaned it!” He said, clearly proud of himself. I smiled, and as I slid into the car, grabbed his face to kiss his cheek. Brian had yet to kiss me for real, told me he wanted it to be perfect. And I respected that, though I was really craving a Brian Dales kiss.

As he drove, I studied him. Blonde-brown hair that was covered by a beanie. Stubble on his chin that I normally hated on guys, but was cute on him. His hazel eyes that shone from the bright sunlight and those white teeth that were pulled into a smile as he held my hand, every so often rubbing his thumb over my hand and his smile grew. I could see myself loving him.

Hell, I was almost sure I already did.

We stopped at a small cafe where Brian used to take Chelsea. That's another nice thing about almost being with Brian. I knew about how much he had loved Chelsea, and he knew about my string of exes. It wasn't awkward or weird, because we knew that we were with each other now.

As he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close, he kissed my cheek, whispering in my ear. “Can you wear your doctor clothes more often?” He whispered, and I knew he was joking, which caused me to shove him playfully, and he just pulled me closer. “Nu-uh, you aren't going anywhere, love!” I laughed, and he gently pulled out the chair for me. I smiled, and told him to grab me a coffee, which he did with a gentle kiss on my cheek.

I loved being with him. I loved his smile and his laugh, and I loved the way he wrapped his arms around me like he was going to lose me. I loved everything about him, and honestly, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, knowing he'd be not only a great father, but also a great husband.

And that scared me.