How To Write A Naruto Fanfiction.

How To Write A Naruto Fanfiction.

Let's start on the OC's, shall we. The one thing that bothers me more than anything, is this:

Example: She's got the perfect face, the perfect body, everyone in her village is after her.

See my point? Does that not sicken you? (This is where I become cranky) What kind of effing human being are you to write that? Have you not been taught that 'Beauty rests only in the eye of the beholder' ? It's impossible for anyone to be wanted by everyone around them. As much as you would like to fantasize about it, it's still impossible. Everyone has their own tastes and preferences, and to one person you could be drop dead gorgeous but to the other some fugly creature that crawled out of a swamp. It's a common fact, learn to live with it. Perfection doesn't exist amongst living beings. Everyone's got strong points and flaws.

And now that we're on the subject, what's with the unlimited power? Oh! Or the, "I'm a vampire/cat demon/angel/goddess due to a strange mix up between my parents. Oh and, I have the sharingan." You're the worst. And then going around, "I'm going to exterminate all the Akatsuki's! Except my love interest. Yeah. I'll go do that. Hey look, it's Orochimaru!! I think I'll go kick his ass first." You should all be stabbed in the eye with a really hot french fry.

And don't go around being powerful enough to beat Tsunade or Jiraiya. Nobody likes an all-powerful OC. Why? Because, what happened to the "damsel in distress" themes? Not going to happen with Xena ninja reincarnate here. -____-

If your OC's love interest is in the Akatsuki, I highly advise you to stay away from giving her a Tailed Beast. It's useless. They track 'm down and extract their tailed beast and the host dies. PERIOD!!

Let's move onto the Akatsuki, actually.

Sasori: He's a puppet. Get it into your head. He's a human puppet. And he's actually quite old, around 30. Did you know that? Obviously not if you give him a childhood friend who is 17. >.> Nevertheless, he's incredibly strong, and intelligent. (geniiuuss) Don't pair him up with Sakura reincarnate, either. And just to make it clear, he did not kill his parents. His parents were killed by Kakashi's father.

Itachi: The Uchiha. He's a complicated character, I'll admit. But, whatever you do, do NOT give him your own reason for killing his clan. Just don't. And he doesn't really find much joy in violence or combat, despite his status. He prefers to avoid battle, if not, end it quick without using too much effort. Yes? He's not some maniac flaunting with his Sharingan. Don't pair him up with a girl who can defeat him in 5 seconds. Not going to happen. Don't pair him up with his own reincarnate, or some childish OC. Why? Well, would you honestly enjoy being followed around by a boy who acts like he's 8 years old? No, you wouldn't. Don't you dare say you would! *holds up french fry* >.> Yeah. I thought so.

Deidara: Here's an interesting one. Deidara. Why does everyone insist on making him a happy-go-lucky guy? He's intelligent, and somewhat cocky. But he wasn't in the Akatsuki on his free will. Spoiler: He refused to go with the Akatsuki long ago, but took the challenge to combat with Itachi. Deidara lost, thus had to go with them. (Deidara maintained a deep loathing for Itachi from that point further and became determined to defeat him) He's not all that childish either. He admired Sasori. And sure, Tobi did piss him off every now and then, but he still kept Tobi out of harm's way. In case you're wondering why I'm using past verbs, the manga readers will understand.

I think those guys are most popular amongst the Akatsuki... On to the popular good guys.

Sasuke: Ugh. Ok. Ok. I despise this guy because he's just angsty, cocky, and goes around flaunting that he's going to kill Itachi and whoever the hell he wants to. But I'll include him anyway. He always gets paired up with some girl who is angsty and cocky like he is, or a girl who is Sakura reincarnate. And the worst pairing I've seen is with Naruto's 'sister' >.> Sure, it would make sense to a degree, but in that case you might as well just turn your Yaoi-vision on and start writing a NaruSasu fic. No? Sasuke is just as complicated as Itachi in that aspect, the difference being that Sasuke is mentally unstable. He's not going to fall head over heels for someone just by their looks or strength. If anything, he'd just become competitive to defeat that person. Yes? Are you seeing where I'm going? Alright, good, then I can carry on.

Kakashi: Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Well, if anyone has read Kakashi Gaiden, you'd know Kakashi was very similar to Sasuke. Except not headstrong on killing anyone. The death of his friend made him cold and distant, therefore making him another character who is hard to portray. Creating an OC with XXXXXL boobs might give you the impression he'd like that, since he loves his perverted little books... But you're wrong. Like I said, he's like Sasuke. Tough exterior, people. And do not give him a Sakura reincarnate either. He's already had a team mate similar to Sakura, her name was Rin, and did she get him? Obviously not. So don't even try it.

Neji: Neji, he's arrogant, you have to love that. I have one word for you. Destiny. And don't come with an OC related to Tenten!! >__> Or an OC with a childish personality. The boy is mature, and not in for babysitting. Enough said.

Shikamaru: The lazy genius. Well, he's not hard to pair up. Given the right plot and 'encounters' you can make a brilliant fanfic with him in it. Just make sure he's in character.

Gaara: Another one of the more complicated characters. You can not get your OC close to him within 5 chapters. It's impossible. If anyone can relate to his past and what it changed him into, you'd know the boy is very hard to get close to. And remember, he doesn't sleep. Why, you ask? Because Shukaku might take over when he's asleep. Got it? Good! If it's Gaara after the timeskip, it would make him a bit easier to approach, and if he doesn't have his tailed beast anymore, all it takes is a good plot. Just don't make him lust after your OC instantly for having 'good looks', alright? Alright!

Kiba: Dog boy! He's not very hard to portray. Same with Shikamaru. Work on the plot, encounters, and you're in. Even an Hinata reincarnate would work.

Did I have all the popular good guys, now? And no, I didn't put Naruto in, because... Well... He's the bloody main character of the entire show, how can you not get his personality on paper? O.o

Now, here's the part we all hate. Out-Of-Character. The only reasonable explanation for this is the people who lack imagination and talent, or the people who never even bothered to watch the fucking series! Like, Itachi being sweet. Sasuke running after girls. Sasori who killed his parents. Deidara who screams like a girl. Hell, Deidara who grew a fucking vagina. If you're going to discriminate Kishimoto's hard work, you might as well just create your own male characters and be done with it. Honestly. I at least study the character I want to write about before I go and put his personality on paper!

Back to OC's. Your character can't be all in one. She can't be cold, yet loving, trusting, distant, multiple evil personalities, gentle, cute, funny, sarcastic, angelic, have angel wings, love blood, yet doesn't want to kill, but is a masochist, but would never hurt someone purposely unless she's one of her other persona's. You know what you get out of that? A twitching, foaming, total NUTJOB. Getting driven away by men in white coats and dumped in a pillowy room. Stick to one personality. Okiii? =3

Oh and, if she has an original demon in her, give the demon some brains. Don't be all, "Oh no! The demon is coming out!" *demon mode* "Demon mad. Demon kiilll." And then goes on a rampage killing everything in sight, leaving her love interesting to stare at the track of dead bodies, which somehow manage to include Tsunade. She's the hokage for crying out loud. And then the love interest finds her crying in a dark corner "Oh noes, I killed everyone!" Yeah. Then comes the incredibly retarded romantic scene. She gets kissed, told it's 'ok' and everything will be alright and they shall run away together. But on the way runs into Kabuto and gets PWNED. Yeah. Nice.

Oh! Oh!! And the Authors among us who insist on saying, "50 rates and messages or I won't update!" who in the name of Hitler do you think you are? Do you really think that people will be all, "OMG! I MUST RATE! OR SHE WON'T UPDATE!! D:" Uh, no. Actually. It's rather rude and conceited. And I've noticed that most of you insist on placing your entire life story in the memo before you read the story. Do we give a fuck about you and your insanely boring problems, or highlights in your life? No. We want to read the friggin' fanfiction. Not the story of your life, because, honestly, nobody gives a rat's furry ass. Don't we all write so people will read, and maybe, appreciate it? Do we have to force appreciation out of them just because we all like to know what happens next? And the irony is, because some actually give them their 50 rates, their pathetic stories get on the Highest Rated list.

Want me to mention a name for this? Fate-x from Quizilla.com. She applies to most of these DON'TS. But I doubt she'll ever take the hint. But, go ahead, abuse people's curiosity. Not like the real writers amongst us aren't talking about how pathetic you truly are. And I've actually read through your so-called fictions. You have a tendency to repeat your phrases after every 5 sentences. And now, if Fate-x were to read this, I'm quite sure her reply will be something like; "A least I have popularity, you're just jealous because I actually get on the HR, and I can actually write!" Quite the opposite. You don't have popularity, JK Rowling, my dear, has popularity. Am I jealous? No. If I were jealous I wouldn't be able to criticize your writing, but instead, would criticize your personality. Am I doing that? No. I rest my case. You insist on bossing people around, have them do stuff for you just so they can read your poorly written fanfics to burn some time. Yet, god forbid someone has some critique on it. Hypocrit. Anyway, moving on.

Now, I just have to criticize some Authors that don't appreciate constructive criticism on their fanfics. Some of them, even start cursing on you for trying to help them with something CONSTRUCTIVE. Meaning, HELPFUL. I can understand if someone says, "you suck, stop writing" that it's just wrong. Yes. You may curse at them for saying that. However if they do give you some points like; "you're not using the paragraphs correctly, and the comma either, I suggest you do it more like this..... Blabla" isn't that good? I mean, I'd appreciate it a lot. Sure, I just said a load of things about Fate-x, but I am not going to correct everything and giving her examples. If she has a pair of brains, she could figure it out.

Actually. I just gave you a lot of DON'TS and just a few DO'S. But I think you can guess that the opposite of the DON'TS are overall good O.o And don't worry, your OC doesn't have to be a freak of nature who fails at everything. Just don't make her all perfect and flawless. Give her some flaws.

Another thing I would like to throw in here are titles of stories. If it's from a song, in other words, the lyrics... That's fine. Except everyone is using it, and I wonder, why? Did thinking of a title become so hard that we need songs for it now? O.O If you have an original title, make sure everything is spelled right. Your story needs to be a polished gem stone, and if you're like me, you will not rest until every little corner of your story and every little word is perfect. Banners? Don't ask for those right away. Maybe for the first chapter, make your own banner? Just a suggestion, nothing important. Everyone loves banners, but it's not the end of the world if you get none.

Yes, I expect to get some hatemail for this. I expect flaming. And I welcome them with open arms, because I know, I'm a foul mouthed criticist who rants. But at least I'm helping someone who might be reading this right now and is planning to write a Naruto fanfic in the future.

I don't attack anyone personally, however, if you decide to attack me personally, be prepared for the consequences.
Consequences: AKA : Ashley chasing you down with a flaming squirrelkebob and shooting its nuts up your ass and out through your nose, which will in turn rupture every spinal vertabrae and nerve in the way, leaving you a wiggly wavy pile of shit. =)