Uncharted
Confession.
The car ride home was completely silent. Jonny had decided to drive, since I felt like my anger wouldn't translate well on the road. Not a word came from my lips, and he was smart enough not to try and start a conversation with me. Whatever Amber was talking about was serious, and we both knew it.
Jonny pulled into the driveway of his townhouse and turned off the engine. "Wanna come in and get cleaned up?" He asked, not looking at me but instead at the steering wheel.
"Not really," I whispered, knowing he was avoiding the topic at hand. "I kind of just want to go home."
He nodded, opening his door and stepping out of the car. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew we'd have to deal with everything when it came to Amber. I knew that whatever secret he was keeping was a big deal, and it would probably upset me even more than I already was... so why not get it out of the way?
He was half way to the door when I emerged from the car. "What's going on?" I asked, leaning on the car door for support.
I could tell just by his actions that he didn't want to talk about it. Shifting slightly on the walk way, he turned towards me and nodded towards the front door. "You might want to come inside," he said before he continued his way to the front door and pushed into the house.
Taking another deep breath, I closed the door and followed him up to his front door. I walked in behind him, and found that he had disappeared. Searching around his townhouse briefly, I found him in the bedroom, his hockey bag thrown in the corner. In his hand was a wet wash cloth, which he quickly handed to me. I began to clean myself up, still a mess from the drink that had been poured over my head.
He didn't say a word, and I didn't want to push him. Part of me wished he wouldn't say anything, or he would tell me that Amber was just being a bitch. If that was the case, he wouldn't have been so serious about it all.
Finally, he just hands me his cell phone. Taking it, I held it firmly and rose an eyebrow his direction. "You want me to call her...?" I questioned, not sure what else he could want me to do.
"Look at the text messages," he said, floating around his room like a nervous butterfly.
Opening up his phone, there were a myriad of texts from Amber spanning over the last month and a half. Almost all of them read something like "plz txt me back," or some other poorly spelled string of words. Nearly all of them went unanswered, up until one texts message:
"I think I might be pregnant..."
It was that message where Amber decided to use proper grammar, and it was also that message that Jonny began responding to. I knew my eyes widened when I reached that message, and as if on cue, Jonny took a seat next to me.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before I exited out of his text messages and handed him back the phone. I felt like crying, but I wasn't about to let him see that. I wasn't about to let him know that I was hurt, though I'm sure he could read it all over my face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, looking at my hands instead of at him.
I could feel his eyes on me, but I still refused to look in his direction. Finally, I felt his gaze shift. "Because we had just gotten back together," he started. "I didn't know if she was even telling the truth, Bailey. When I ended things with her, she was insanely upset. For a while, she tried everything she could think of to get me to take her back."
I shifted on the bed, feeling more and more uncomfortable with every passing second.
"When she came up with this attempt, I tried to ignore her, but she kept pressing and pressing until I finally met her for lunch," he continued, his words getting softer and sadder. "She wasn't lying. Amber had missed her period and was freaking out. She told me that if she was, she was keeping the baby and that she wanted me to be a part of its life. I was mortified and didn't know what to do or how to tell you."
Even though I had been doing an amazing job of keeping my tears to myself, they finally broke through, spilling down my face.
"I took her to the doctor and he told her it was a false alarm," he sighed. "I was so relieved that it was all over and I'd never have to see her again. Of course she kept pressing for me to be with her, but I turned her down constantly. Finally, she just went away and I thought I was done with it. If I had known she would have been there tonight, I wouldn't have even tak..."
"I don't care that she was there tonight," I interrupted, turning my gaze towards him. "I don't care that she poured a drink over my head. Jonny, I don't give a shit about those things." Standing up, I ran my hands over my face slowly, wiping away the tears quickly. "The thing I care about is the fact that you never told me any of this was going on."
"I didn't want to lose you, Bails," Jonny offered, reaching for my hand. I pulled it back defensively, backing away from him. "I thought that if I told you what was going on, you'd leave."
I shook my head furiously. "I wouldn't have left you," I started, sighing slightly. "We all have a past, Jonathan. Some are messier than others. Anything with Amber is bound to cause shit, but that doesn't mean you can keep things like a pregnancy scare from me, and expect me to just shrug it off when you tell me over a month later!"
"Bailey, I..."
"You screwed up," I said, cutting him off. "You didn't want to lose me, but that's exactly what you just did."
And with that, I folded my arms over my chest and made my way to the front door, not even looking back.
Jonny pulled into the driveway of his townhouse and turned off the engine. "Wanna come in and get cleaned up?" He asked, not looking at me but instead at the steering wheel.
"Not really," I whispered, knowing he was avoiding the topic at hand. "I kind of just want to go home."
He nodded, opening his door and stepping out of the car. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew we'd have to deal with everything when it came to Amber. I knew that whatever secret he was keeping was a big deal, and it would probably upset me even more than I already was... so why not get it out of the way?
He was half way to the door when I emerged from the car. "What's going on?" I asked, leaning on the car door for support.
I could tell just by his actions that he didn't want to talk about it. Shifting slightly on the walk way, he turned towards me and nodded towards the front door. "You might want to come inside," he said before he continued his way to the front door and pushed into the house.
Taking another deep breath, I closed the door and followed him up to his front door. I walked in behind him, and found that he had disappeared. Searching around his townhouse briefly, I found him in the bedroom, his hockey bag thrown in the corner. In his hand was a wet wash cloth, which he quickly handed to me. I began to clean myself up, still a mess from the drink that had been poured over my head.
He didn't say a word, and I didn't want to push him. Part of me wished he wouldn't say anything, or he would tell me that Amber was just being a bitch. If that was the case, he wouldn't have been so serious about it all.
Finally, he just hands me his cell phone. Taking it, I held it firmly and rose an eyebrow his direction. "You want me to call her...?" I questioned, not sure what else he could want me to do.
"Look at the text messages," he said, floating around his room like a nervous butterfly.
Opening up his phone, there were a myriad of texts from Amber spanning over the last month and a half. Almost all of them read something like "plz txt me back," or some other poorly spelled string of words. Nearly all of them went unanswered, up until one texts message:
"I think I might be pregnant..."
It was that message where Amber decided to use proper grammar, and it was also that message that Jonny began responding to. I knew my eyes widened when I reached that message, and as if on cue, Jonny took a seat next to me.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before I exited out of his text messages and handed him back the phone. I felt like crying, but I wasn't about to let him see that. I wasn't about to let him know that I was hurt, though I'm sure he could read it all over my face.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, looking at my hands instead of at him.
I could feel his eyes on me, but I still refused to look in his direction. Finally, I felt his gaze shift. "Because we had just gotten back together," he started. "I didn't know if she was even telling the truth, Bailey. When I ended things with her, she was insanely upset. For a while, she tried everything she could think of to get me to take her back."
I shifted on the bed, feeling more and more uncomfortable with every passing second.
"When she came up with this attempt, I tried to ignore her, but she kept pressing and pressing until I finally met her for lunch," he continued, his words getting softer and sadder. "She wasn't lying. Amber had missed her period and was freaking out. She told me that if she was, she was keeping the baby and that she wanted me to be a part of its life. I was mortified and didn't know what to do or how to tell you."
Even though I had been doing an amazing job of keeping my tears to myself, they finally broke through, spilling down my face.
"I took her to the doctor and he told her it was a false alarm," he sighed. "I was so relieved that it was all over and I'd never have to see her again. Of course she kept pressing for me to be with her, but I turned her down constantly. Finally, she just went away and I thought I was done with it. If I had known she would have been there tonight, I wouldn't have even tak..."
"I don't care that she was there tonight," I interrupted, turning my gaze towards him. "I don't care that she poured a drink over my head. Jonny, I don't give a shit about those things." Standing up, I ran my hands over my face slowly, wiping away the tears quickly. "The thing I care about is the fact that you never told me any of this was going on."
"I didn't want to lose you, Bails," Jonny offered, reaching for my hand. I pulled it back defensively, backing away from him. "I thought that if I told you what was going on, you'd leave."
I shook my head furiously. "I wouldn't have left you," I started, sighing slightly. "We all have a past, Jonathan. Some are messier than others. Anything with Amber is bound to cause shit, but that doesn't mean you can keep things like a pregnancy scare from me, and expect me to just shrug it off when you tell me over a month later!"
"Bailey, I..."
"You screwed up," I said, cutting him off. "You didn't want to lose me, but that's exactly what you just did."
And with that, I folded my arms over my chest and made my way to the front door, not even looking back.