Uncharted
Coffee
Our visit with Sara, Patrick and Avery was quick, yet perfect. I was able to hold the beautiful baby girl in my arms for a few minutes before I was forced to give her up to Jonny. Sara looked exhausted, and Patrick was slowly coming down from the adrenaline high he must of been on. After about twenty minutes, I stepped back out of the room, tears sliding down my cheeks.
I decided to not wait for Jonny before I started down the hallway. For one, I didn't care for him to see me crying. Then there was the fact that I doubted he even wanted to talk to me at this point.
"Bailey! Bailey, wait up!"
His shouts echoed down the long hallway. At first, I merely stopped, not willing myself to turn around just yet. I finally took a deep breath and forced myself to turn on my heels just as he reached me. "Yes?" I said, trying to act as civil and composed as humanly possible.
"Look, I'm...I'm sorry," he began, rubbing the back of his neck. "What I said earlier...I...I didn't mean it. I understand if you need some time. This isn't some tiny matter that can just be brushed aside, and I know that. I was just upset that I didn't get to wake up to you this morning. And then when Kaner called me, it threw me into a panic. I shouldn't have taken it out on you...and I'm sorry."
I wiped the tears away from my cheeks before tucking my hands under my jacket and looking at the ground. He was waiting for my answer, and I was trying my hardest to search for one. Maybe it was the excitement of the new baby, or the fact that I was more confused than ever, but there just didn't seem to be an answer.
"Take your time, Bailey," he said with a confident nod. "I'll be here if you come around."
I glanced up as he shoved his hands into his pockets as he made his way around me. Again, I stood in the hallway, frozen. When it finally hit me that he was walking away, I shot around. "Jonathan," I said as loud as my voice could muster. I still wasn't sure if he had heard me, but he finally stopped walking and turned around to face me. The sadness I could read on his face almost brought another round of tears to my eyes. "Would you like to go get some coffee?"
A smile and a nod were my answer before we left the hospital together.
-x-
"Avery is basically the most beautiful baby I've ever seen," I said, stirring my coffee slowly.
He nodded in agreement, sipping is own beverage with a smile. "Kaner does good work," Jonny joked, putting down his drink.
We had been in this awkward limbo since we had arrived at the cafe. It was just a few minutes from the hospital and the only place I could think of that had a decent cup of coffee. In all the time I had known Jonny, I didn't remember a single awkward moment...until now. It seemed as though this air had fallen over us, and we couldn't be ourselves. I absolutely hated it.
"I'm sorry I just left this morning," I finally said out of the blue. "I knew I had that wedding and I just...I didn't know how I was going to face you."
"What do you mean?"
I turned my gaze towards the window for a moment before looking back at him and smiling. "I'm scared," I said simply. It was the first time I was admitting it to him, but it was also the first time I felt like I was openly admitting it to myself as well. "I'm scared that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that I can't live without you."
The confusion on his face was completely obvious. "And that's a bad thing?"
"It is when you're me," I sighed. "Things never tend to go right."
"Bailey....what are you talking about?"
"I'm scared that you're going to find someone better! Just like David did... I'm scared that one of these days Amber is going to walk right back into your life and you're going to realize that she is everything you want."
He reached out for my hand, taking it in both of his own. "Bailey, I am never going to what anyone else..."
"But what if you do? What if I can't keep you? Then what? I'm tired of depending on people who seem to always leave me." These were things that I had never admitted before, not even out loud to myself. I knew I was full of insecurities, and this was the biggest one. Believe it or not, it was one of the reasons I had chosen event planning as a profession. People were always praising my work, and it was the one part of my life that I knew I was the best in. With everything else came doubt, especially relationships.
A slight laugh came from his lips, and I couldn't help but furrow my eyebrows. "What's so funny?"
"Bailey Monroe, there is not a single other woman on this planet that I want to be with. I told you once, and I'll tell you again, you are everything to me." I watching him closely as he slid from the chair next to me onto one knee. At first, I didn't believe what I was seeing, but it quickly hit me what was going on. "And I'm ready to prove that to you."
"Wh...What are you doing?"
"Now, I don't have a ring on me right now, but Bailey, will you please, please marry me?"
I swallowed hard at his words. My hand flew instinctively to my mouth, covering it quickly. There was no way I was going to be able to speak, but with a nod, I had just accepted a marriage proposal from Jonathan Toews.
I decided to not wait for Jonny before I started down the hallway. For one, I didn't care for him to see me crying. Then there was the fact that I doubted he even wanted to talk to me at this point.
"Bailey! Bailey, wait up!"
His shouts echoed down the long hallway. At first, I merely stopped, not willing myself to turn around just yet. I finally took a deep breath and forced myself to turn on my heels just as he reached me. "Yes?" I said, trying to act as civil and composed as humanly possible.
"Look, I'm...I'm sorry," he began, rubbing the back of his neck. "What I said earlier...I...I didn't mean it. I understand if you need some time. This isn't some tiny matter that can just be brushed aside, and I know that. I was just upset that I didn't get to wake up to you this morning. And then when Kaner called me, it threw me into a panic. I shouldn't have taken it out on you...and I'm sorry."
I wiped the tears away from my cheeks before tucking my hands under my jacket and looking at the ground. He was waiting for my answer, and I was trying my hardest to search for one. Maybe it was the excitement of the new baby, or the fact that I was more confused than ever, but there just didn't seem to be an answer.
"Take your time, Bailey," he said with a confident nod. "I'll be here if you come around."
I glanced up as he shoved his hands into his pockets as he made his way around me. Again, I stood in the hallway, frozen. When it finally hit me that he was walking away, I shot around. "Jonathan," I said as loud as my voice could muster. I still wasn't sure if he had heard me, but he finally stopped walking and turned around to face me. The sadness I could read on his face almost brought another round of tears to my eyes. "Would you like to go get some coffee?"
A smile and a nod were my answer before we left the hospital together.
-x-
"Avery is basically the most beautiful baby I've ever seen," I said, stirring my coffee slowly.
He nodded in agreement, sipping is own beverage with a smile. "Kaner does good work," Jonny joked, putting down his drink.
We had been in this awkward limbo since we had arrived at the cafe. It was just a few minutes from the hospital and the only place I could think of that had a decent cup of coffee. In all the time I had known Jonny, I didn't remember a single awkward moment...until now. It seemed as though this air had fallen over us, and we couldn't be ourselves. I absolutely hated it.
"I'm sorry I just left this morning," I finally said out of the blue. "I knew I had that wedding and I just...I didn't know how I was going to face you."
"What do you mean?"
I turned my gaze towards the window for a moment before looking back at him and smiling. "I'm scared," I said simply. It was the first time I was admitting it to him, but it was also the first time I felt like I was openly admitting it to myself as well. "I'm scared that I'm going to wake up one day and realize that I can't live without you."
The confusion on his face was completely obvious. "And that's a bad thing?"
"It is when you're me," I sighed. "Things never tend to go right."
"Bailey....what are you talking about?"
"I'm scared that you're going to find someone better! Just like David did... I'm scared that one of these days Amber is going to walk right back into your life and you're going to realize that she is everything you want."
He reached out for my hand, taking it in both of his own. "Bailey, I am never going to what anyone else..."
"But what if you do? What if I can't keep you? Then what? I'm tired of depending on people who seem to always leave me." These were things that I had never admitted before, not even out loud to myself. I knew I was full of insecurities, and this was the biggest one. Believe it or not, it was one of the reasons I had chosen event planning as a profession. People were always praising my work, and it was the one part of my life that I knew I was the best in. With everything else came doubt, especially relationships.
A slight laugh came from his lips, and I couldn't help but furrow my eyebrows. "What's so funny?"
"Bailey Monroe, there is not a single other woman on this planet that I want to be with. I told you once, and I'll tell you again, you are everything to me." I watching him closely as he slid from the chair next to me onto one knee. At first, I didn't believe what I was seeing, but it quickly hit me what was going on. "And I'm ready to prove that to you."
"Wh...What are you doing?"
"Now, I don't have a ring on me right now, but Bailey, will you please, please marry me?"
I swallowed hard at his words. My hand flew instinctively to my mouth, covering it quickly. There was no way I was going to be able to speak, but with a nod, I had just accepted a marriage proposal from Jonathan Toews.