Uncharted

I had never been to Jonny's townhouse.

We had been sitting in his living room for the past ten minutes, and all I found myself doing was looking around the place, trying to take it in. It didn't help that I was still slightly tipsy form the mass amounts of rum I had poured down my throat earlier in the day. Jonny had excused himself to change or...something. I didn't quite catch what he had said before he disappeared into a hallway. Seeing as it was now taking him much longer than I expected, I forced myself up and began to walk around the spacious living room. I had to admit, the place was amazing. Littered around were pictures of Jonny with friends and family. My eyes travelled to a particular photo that I couldn't help but smile at. Jonny and Kaner holding the Stanley Cup.

"Sorry it took so long."

The words made me practically jump out of my skin, which also caused me to almost lose my grip on the picture frame in my hand and sent it to the floor. Thankfully, I managed to catch it, somehow, and save it from utter disrepair. Setting the photo back in its place, I turned around to see Jonathan standing in front of me wearing nothing more than a pair of basketball shorts, and I would assume boxers. However, my eyes weren't on his body. They had landed right where they normally would, right on that winning smile that always seemed to be on his face...at least when I was around.

"It's okay. I was just...looking around," I smiled wide as I strolled back to the couch and sat where I had originally been.

It didn't take Jonny long to walk over and take a seat directly next to me. There was literally not an inch of space between us, and I was okay with that. I felt his arm slip around me, and my head instinctively went to his shoulder. Even though I was in a place that I had never been before, I couldn't have felt more at home. I felt my eyes flutter shut as we sat on the couch. The moment before I drifted asleep, Jonny' voice awoke me again.

"I've missed you," he whispered into my ear.

My eyes opened slowly as I took in his words. I had been so consumed in my almost sleep that I didn't notice Jonny's hand running through my hair slowly. That would explain why I was so close to sleeping in such an uncomfortable position.

"Amber didn't fill the void?"

It was meant to come out as a joke, but my tone was much harsher than I had ever intended it to be. Everything that happened between Jonny and Amber wasn't some huge secret. There were pictures and headlines publicizing the entire love affair to the city of Chicago from the moment they stepped off the plane. Before I left the Bahamas, I had told Jonny that we needed a week away from one another completely. As soon as I saw that picture, a week turned into much, much longer.

He didn't speak. Instead, Jonny sat up, causing me to almost topple over onto the couch, and scooted as far away as he could. It felt like he was on the opposite side of the planet now, and all I wanted to do was bridge the unnecessary gap he had just formed between us.

"You know Amber doesn't mean anything to me," Jonny started, his eyes not meeting mine. Instead, he was pulling a trick I normally would, looking at everything he could find but me. Finally, his eyes rested on a photo that I had apparently missed in my initial sweeping of the room. The only reason I knew that's what he was looking at was that I stole a glance when I got the chance. "We just...I don't know. It was a lapse in judgment I guess."

"A lapse in judgment that lasted how many months? All I kept seeing was her hanging all over you. It took everything I had not to buy all of those magazines and burn them." The words escaped before I could stop them, and now I was the one looking away. My fingers and begun to fiddle with the hem of my jeans, which was tattered and frayed from years of dragging them along.

"Her hanging all over me," Jonny pointed out. I felt a bit of movement on the couch, but I was too scared to look up in fear that he had gotten up off the couch. I didn't know why, but I felt the more space he put between us was more ground that we'd have to make up. "She wanted the fame. I've told you this. It didn't matter what I looked like to her as long as my last name was Toews, and I'm captain of the Blackhawks." His hand fell upon my cheek and gently forced me to look up. As much as I didn't want to, the will to fight him had all but left me.

Then again, who was I kidding? Fighting Jonny on anything was a losing battle and I knew it. There was something about him that made me give up. He would always win with me, and that scared me in a way. I have always been the time to back down and back off. In my life, other people always won, mostly because I didn't care enough to fight. This was different. I cared. I wanted to fight him, but I just...couldn't. I melted the moment those eyes fell on me and my will was just gone.

"So why did you keep it going?" I reached up to push his hand away, but before I could, he grabbed mine firmly. Again, any power I had to pull my hand back was gone, and it didn't help that I was beginning to feel nauseous.

"Because it wasn't worth the fight." His tone changed. Jonny had gone from warm and comforting to sad and cold in a matter of seconds. "Amber wasn't going to leave me alone, and it didn't seem like you wanted anything to do with me. You wouldn't answer any of my calls, texts, emails. Nothing I did seemed to get through to you. I told myself that it was just your job, and that you were just busy, but when it kept happening, I just thought you were done and over it."

"How could I just be over that?" The words escaped before I had a chance to stop them. "Never in my life have I fallen so quickly, or so hard for a guy. You weren't just some man I found on vacation to have a good time with. You've always been something more."

"Then why avoid me?"
"Because I was scared."
"Of what? What is there to be scared about? I thought I made it pretty obvious that I liked you too."
"You did but...I've been doing nothing but jumping from one relationship to another. I needed time alone, to figure out what I needed more so than what I wanted."
"And what do you need?"
"...You."

I felt him squeeze my hand as the last word came out of my mouth. Looking up at him, Jonny was back to the warm and caring person I had met so many months ago. Strong arms wrapped around me and he pulled me in for the type of hug I had done nothing but miss since I returned to Chicago. Returning the embrace, I buried my head into his shoulder, closing my eyes slowly. It felt right. This was where I was supposed to be.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there, but once he pulled away, his lips fell squarely on my forehead, giving me a soft kiss. Not a word was spoken as he lead me to his bedroom. As soon as my tired body hit those soft sheets, I was fast asleep, back in Jonny's arms.