‹ Prequel: ***tangle
The Real ***tangle
Chapter Five
So I know I said I wasn't going to post any more updates. Well, I read over this whole thing just now and I feel that there is a little bit more that I'd like to put down here.
I'm about 90% sure nobody even reads this anymore, but I'm going to put it out there anyways.
Right now, Mike and I have been together for 1 year and roughly 8 months. Everything's really great between us. We have our moments of discord, but so does just about anyone. We're living together with Allison right now actually, and although I was worried about the whole "cohabitation is bad for relationships before marriage" thing I kept hearing, I've seen nothing to hint at that becoming true for us. I have a hard time looking too far into the future. I was never the kind of girl that fantasized about having kids or getting married. I don't know if either of those will ever happen to me. I don't know if Mike will be a part of any of that. It's not that I don't want him to be; it's that I don't care to think about it because it's so far into the future right now. It's not something that seems reachable where I'm at right now, so it doesn't serve me to spend time thinking about it. So I don't know if Mike and I will be together forever or anything like that. But things between us are really awesome right now and I couldn't really imagine where I'd be without him by my side right now.
Onto Graham though. I don't really feel any of those pangs anymore when I think about him. Or if I do, it's only spurred by emotional music that I listened to while we were together. There's an entire playlist that I can't listen to without being transported back in time. But that's beside the point.
I haven't spoken to Graham since I quit the place we worked at together. That's been close to 7 months now, actually. But around a month or two before I left, I started noticing a change in him. He was handing out with some of the "unsavory" people we worked with more often than ever. His attitude towards people started changing and he had no problem being unnecessarily mean or just plain rude. He was turning into an asshole, from what I saw. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, although I was secretly a little worried as to why he started changing like that. It probably had to do with his family. There were always lots of issues there. But I eventually realized that I didn't need that kind of toxicity in my life, especially when I had so much stress of my own, but also my own source of light, to be super cliche. I also realized that it wasn't my place to be worried about him anymore. I was pretty sure he was still with Sarah (not so sure anymore though, to be honest). He had his own friends. We hadn't had a decent conversation in many months. It simply wasn't my job to be worried, and I didn't need his asshole attitude in my life, so I closed the door that had been left cracked open for close to a year.
I think fondly of our relationship now. I loved him, and maybe it took me a long time to get over him, no matter the convincing I did otherwise. But I no longer felt pain at what ended and what could have been. I simply look back at what we had, glad that we had it, and then look at what I have now. I am so much happier now than I have been since...well, a long time. I was happy with Graham. But I am infinitely happier with Mike now. Mike is where my energy is focused now. And Graham is simply a fond memory of what a person (that I'd like nothing more than to never see again) used to be.
And that is where this story really ends. This is my happy ending.
I'm about 90% sure nobody even reads this anymore, but I'm going to put it out there anyways.
Right now, Mike and I have been together for 1 year and roughly 8 months. Everything's really great between us. We have our moments of discord, but so does just about anyone. We're living together with Allison right now actually, and although I was worried about the whole "cohabitation is bad for relationships before marriage" thing I kept hearing, I've seen nothing to hint at that becoming true for us. I have a hard time looking too far into the future. I was never the kind of girl that fantasized about having kids or getting married. I don't know if either of those will ever happen to me. I don't know if Mike will be a part of any of that. It's not that I don't want him to be; it's that I don't care to think about it because it's so far into the future right now. It's not something that seems reachable where I'm at right now, so it doesn't serve me to spend time thinking about it. So I don't know if Mike and I will be together forever or anything like that. But things between us are really awesome right now and I couldn't really imagine where I'd be without him by my side right now.
Onto Graham though. I don't really feel any of those pangs anymore when I think about him. Or if I do, it's only spurred by emotional music that I listened to while we were together. There's an entire playlist that I can't listen to without being transported back in time. But that's beside the point.
I haven't spoken to Graham since I quit the place we worked at together. That's been close to 7 months now, actually. But around a month or two before I left, I started noticing a change in him. He was handing out with some of the "unsavory" people we worked with more often than ever. His attitude towards people started changing and he had no problem being unnecessarily mean or just plain rude. He was turning into an asshole, from what I saw. I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, although I was secretly a little worried as to why he started changing like that. It probably had to do with his family. There were always lots of issues there. But I eventually realized that I didn't need that kind of toxicity in my life, especially when I had so much stress of my own, but also my own source of light, to be super cliche. I also realized that it wasn't my place to be worried about him anymore. I was pretty sure he was still with Sarah (not so sure anymore though, to be honest). He had his own friends. We hadn't had a decent conversation in many months. It simply wasn't my job to be worried, and I didn't need his asshole attitude in my life, so I closed the door that had been left cracked open for close to a year.
I think fondly of our relationship now. I loved him, and maybe it took me a long time to get over him, no matter the convincing I did otherwise. But I no longer felt pain at what ended and what could have been. I simply look back at what we had, glad that we had it, and then look at what I have now. I am so much happier now than I have been since...well, a long time. I was happy with Graham. But I am infinitely happier with Mike now. Mike is where my energy is focused now. And Graham is simply a fond memory of what a person (that I'd like nothing more than to never see again) used to be.
And that is where this story really ends. This is my happy ending.