Jumping Into Rivers

“Are you ready, Lou?” Harry called from the bottom of the stairs as he slipped his winter coat on. Behind him Niall was lacing up some fancy black shoes, his white shirt buttoned all the way to the top, making him look neat and tidy. “Yeah, hang on!” Louis’ voice was vaguely heard. Louis looked at himself one more time in the mirror, fluffing his hair and readjusting his suspenders. He smiled at his reflection and shoved his mobile phone in his pocket, ignoring the twelve messages that were waiting from him from various friends and family members. As he came out of his room he met Liam in the hallway brushing his own shirt down, making sure it wasn’t creased.

“We’re going for dinner, mate. Not an interview.” Louis teased as he began to walk down the stairs. From behind him Liam made a sarcastic face, but left his shirt alone anyway, before following Louis. “You look nice.” Harry spoke once Louis reached the last step. “Why, thank you.” Louis smiled, “As do you.” Harry smiled back, walking towards Louis and slipping his finger underneath one of Louis’ suspenders and giving it a small ping. Harry laughed with amusement as he looked into Louis’ eyes, smirking a little. Louis looked back, almost shy and perhaps a little guilty from making Harry so worried yesterday. Although from Harry’s glistening emeralds Louis thought maybe he was forgiven – only a little bit though.

Louis shivered as the front door opened, sending a cold draft in followed by the smell of cigarette smoke. “Taxi’s here!” Zayn poked his head around the door, the lights of the taxi visible in the dark. Niall and Liam pulled their coats tight and exited the house, their shoes crunching on the gravel as they made their way to the car. Louis was about to follow suit in just his thin shirt, but his coat was thrust in front of him. “Here,” Harry spoke, holding Louis’ coat out towards him, “It’s cold outside.” Louis smiled and gratefully took it, snuggling into the warm fabric as he did up each button.

Meanwhile Harry was trying to keep his attention far away from Louis’ long and slender fingers, twisting as they did up each button in turn. Harry swallowed thickly, blushing at the thoughts that entered his head without any means of warning. ‘Stop it, Harry!’ he thought to himself, ‘where on earth did those thoughts come from? You dirty, dirty little boy. It must be because Louis has such feminine fingers. So slender and dainty. Although his palms look so strong, and his grip so forceful – Stop it, Harry!’

“Guys? Come on, what are you doing?” Zayn poked his head around the door to be met with a confusing sight. Louis was doing his buttons up slowly, his eyes firmly on Harry, seemingly interested in the younger boy. And Harry’s gaze was fixated on Louis’ fingers, mesmerised by their movements. “Um, guys?” Zayn spoke again, after realising they hadn’t heard him the first time. Both of their heads snapped to look at him. “The car’s waiting.” Zayn said, before disappearing back outside and stubbing out his cigarette before joining Niall and Liam in the car.

Harry cleared his throat, “Ready to go?” Louis gave a gentle nod, his thoughts obviously somewhere else. He followed Harry outside almost automatically, still thinking about the moment before. He’d caught Harry staring, and wondered why the boy was watching his hands so intently. As they got in the car, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of awkwardness radiating from Harry, as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. “Where to?” the driver spoke. “The Connaught, please.” Liam said, taking out his wallet to make sure he had enough cash for the ride. “So, is this place that Simon booked us good?” Zayn said, switching his eyes from the window to Liam, who seemed to know the most about the restaurant they were going to. Liam shrugged, “I guess so. I had a look at the menu on the computer. It’s pretty expensive, about £100 per person. And that’s not even including the wine list!”

“I hate being seventeen.” Harry grumbled, crossing his arms in annoyance, although it proved difficult given how thick his coat was. “Aww,” Niall smiled, ruffling his curls, “Not long to go now, mate.” Harry just scowled, slumping in his seat. “Why is it always wine?” Louis suddenly moaned, “I hate wine! Why can’t they just sell vodka or something?” the car fell silent, causing some confusion to Louis – until Liam spoke, “I think you’ve had enough vodka for a while, don’t you?” Liam’s voice was dry and bitter, although he dared not look at the older member. Louis just kept his mouth shut tight, regretting his decision to even speak. It seemed as if the others hadn’t completely forgotten about last night.

-

The boys finally arrived at their destination. As they entered the restaurant they saw the place was full of older, and upper class people. Harry couldn’t help but feel out of place despite his well groomed appearance. He was too aware of the judgemental eyes on himself and his band mates. He was able to read their expressions like a book, ‘why on earth are there teenagers in here?’, ‘what do they think this restaurant is? McDonalds?’ Behind them a young couple were waiting to be seated, the lady tapping her heeled foot impatiently as Liam spoke to the waiter.

“Uh, table for five, please. It should be reserved under the name ‘Cowell’.” The waiters’ expression instantly lifted into an eager, yet fake grin. “Ahh. Yes, yes. The five young gentlemen Mr. Cowell rang up about this afternoon. Please, follow me.” The waiter replied in a French accent. He grabbed five menus and led the boys past the tables. Niall could feel his mouth begin to water as he stared at all the plates as they walked past. Zayn, on the other hand was looking for the spare table that the waiter was leading them too, however every table he saw seemed to be taken. And that’s when he realised – good old Simon had bagged them a private table. And sure enough, there it was. A wooden table in the corner of the room, obstructed from view. Its varnished surface held five sets of polished knives and forks, gleaming wine glasses and a couple of fat candles, which the waiter quickly lit with the lighter that was in his pocket. “Here we are, sirs.” The waiter spoke, stepping to the side and extending his hand in welcome. The boys smiled and said, “Thank you.” Seating themselves around the table.

“It is a wonderful pleasure to have such fine young men in our company tonight,” the waiter bullshitted as he placed a menu in front of each of them, “And Mr. Cowell wished to inform you all that the meal will be paid for, all expense spared. As I understand the check will be sent to Mr. Cowell himself.” Liam seemed to choke at the news, coughing loudly until Zayn hit him on the back. He was surprised by Simon’s kindness. Niall’s grin just widened. “I will leave you to look at our fine menu. Please do not hesitate to contact myself, or any member of staff if there are any issues.” The waiter bowed a little before strutting away.

“Did he just bow?” Louis asked with an eyebrow raised, not quite sure to believe he was being treated with such superiority. “I think he did.” Zayn spoke, his laughter held back as he skimmed the menu. “I can’t believe Simon is going to pay for all this.” Niall said, also reading from his menu, making a mental note of all the food he liked. Which to be quite honest, was pretty much everything. “He’s really going to regret it after I’m done with this place.” Niall laughed, while Liam snapped, “Niall! Just because Simon is paying does not mean we shouldn’t watch what we have! That wouldn’t be fair! We can’t just have the most expensive thing because someone else is buying it-”

“Holy fuck! Have you seen the price of this wine? £2950! Just for a bottle of wine!” Louis interrupted, his eyes wide as he read the wine menu. He kept a straight face as he lowered it, looking around at every other member. “No.” Liam said, holding up one finger and pointing it threateningly at Louis knowing exactly what he was thinking. “No!” he said again, noticing Niall begin to giggle. “No! We are not buying that wine!” Zayn smirked and looked at the mature boy beside him, “If Simon wasn’t willing to pay, Simon shouldn’t have offered.” And before Liam could speak any word of protest as the waiter came back over, Louis spoke, “The finest bottle of your Château Lafite Rothschild, please, my good man.”

-

One bottle of ridiculously expensive wine and two courses later the boys were giggling as Harry told them the story of when he was head-butted by a horse. “It’s not funny! I don’t even know what I did to offend it!” Harry said, tears building up in his eyes as he laughed. Niall choked as he sipped from his glass, trying not to laugh as he coughed.

“That can’t be as bad as when Niall walked into that glass door in the X Factor house. Remember that?” Zayn giggled, causing Liam to clutch his stomach at the memory. Louis lolled his head onto Harry’s shoulder, his laughter vibrating through Harry’s chest. Harry grinned and took the last sip from his glass, but jumped a little when a hand squeezed his thigh. Out of the corner of his eye Harry could just see a drunken smirk on Louis’ face. “Can I get dessert for any of you?” their French waiter asked his notepad at the ready. “One of each!” Louis sprung up from Harry’s shoulder, although his hand still placed on his thigh. The waiter blinked in shock, but nodded and wrote it down. Ten minutes later the five different desserts were placed on their table. Niall grabbed the fruit crumble greedily and stuck his spoon into it. Harry tenderly reached for the cheese cake and began eating a little more delicately than Niall.

“Nice?” Louis asked, staring at the boy next to him as he placed another spoonful in his mouth. “Mmm,” Harry moaned, his eyes shut in ecstasy, “Want to try some?” Harry opened his eyes and looked at Louis for his reply. Louis nodded enthusiastically and went to use his own spoon, but Harry held him back. Harry held his spoon to Louis’ mouth – Louis hesitated for a moment before gravitating towards it. Louis smiled as the cake melted in his mouth, making Harry smile. He lent back in his cushioned seat, his head warm and slightly heavy. He couldn’t believe how happy and relaxed he was in this moment. It was if yesterday never happened. As if there hadn’t been any tension within the band at all since the day they had got back. Louis felt the scab on his wrist, happy to find that it was healing. The source of the tension and arguments – and it was a silly accident. As he sat with his best friends it was if those depressive thoughts he’d had last night while walking in the bitter cold hadn’t even entered his brain. But then Louis felt himself frown, because he’d remembered what had happened, or rather what could have happened. He was so stupid. So stupid. He nearly jumped! And what an earth for? Looking around this table now he realised how completely pathetic his actions where, and for what reason such actions had even happened anyway. He swore to himself there and then that from now on, he would never think of that again. He even felt emotional thinking that what if he had? They wouldn’t be sat around this fantastic dinner table, laughing and spending Simon’s money for the hell of it. He would be dead, simple as.

“Is something wrong, Louis?” Harry asked. Louis turned to him, “N-no. I just need to go to the toilet. Be back in a minute.” He got up and made his way to the gent’s toilets. Inside he walked briskly to the sink and breathed heavily. What the fuck happened to him? What the fuck? And he would have done it to! Such a stupid, stupid boy! He had no reason! He is happy! Louis, you have a fantastic life! How vain and selfish of you to consider such a foolish thing. Just because a few people hate you, does not mean the rest do! Look at yourself! Family, friends, fans! So many people there to love you! Louis continued to take deep breathes as he clung to one of the sinks.

“I told you that you would have regretted it.” It was that voice again. Louis whipped around, only to find her nowhere. “Stop it!” Louis whispered to himself. He felt he was going mental. Who was this girl? Was she really there? Was Louis really losing his mind? He prayed to God he wasn’t, because this was not the time. He had to stay strong, for all of them. And Louis had no idea what was wrong with him. But there must be something. Because not only did he nearly leap into the Thames not twenty-four hours again, but he was seeing a girl no one else could see. There was something wrong with Louis, and only he knew it.

He looked at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair and wiping his eyes. “Pull it together, Tomlinson. Pull it together.” He told himself. His heart skipped as someone opened the door. And elderly man walked in looking the boy up and down in disgust before walking into a toilet stall. Louis sighed and turned back to his reflection, giving himself a nod of reassurance and exited the toilet to join his band.

-

“I think that was the best food I have ever eaten.” Niall said lazily, his arm slung around Liam. Liam was obviously having difficultly holding the Irish boy up, as his legs slowly started to wobble. “Here’s the taxi.” Liam said in joy once it pulled up beside them. He practically flung Niall into the car, rubbing his shoulder once the weight was off of it. Zayn and Harry followed, leaving Louis standing on the cold street, his head turned, fixated on something that was a little way away down the street.

“Lou?” Harry asked? Louis stood looking at Diana for a second longer before clambering into the car and shutting the door. “What were you looking at Lou?” Harry asked. “Nothing.” Louis lied, secretly wandering if Diana had been watching him this whole time.