You Planned It, You're a Bandit

I was paranoid that Jack was going to flip out at me. He told me to be home before midnight, and now it's quarter passed two. I needed that night out though; it was a relief from all this stress he'd recently put me under.

Rain began pouring down on me, hard; my little cheetah print dress was about to become even more spotted. My stilettos clicked furiously against the concrete flight of stairs as I made my way up to the door. I was sure Jack would be asleep; at least I hoped so. We'd been on good terms for the passed few days, I hoped my late arrival wouldn't set him off.

I unlocked the door, and made my way inside. I set my purse down on the coffee table, switching on the light. Jack wasn't crashed on the couch trying to wait up for me all night. I smiled maybe he wasn't mad and just decided to go to bed,; and let me do something for once. I felt very warm and happy, he trusted me even though I should be the one not trusting him.

I crept through our bedroom, into our bathroom, and eventually reaching the grand walk-in closet. The lace pumps were kicked off, and placed in their box. I slipped out of the tiny, wet, speckled dress, and into comfortable black short shorts, and a long sleeve pull over sweater like shirt. I pulled the fake colored extensions out of my naturally tawny brown hair and pulled my sloppy waves in a fitting sloppy bun.

Deciding it was a good idea, I tried my hardest to sneak into bed. I pulled myself under the warm comforter, and tried snuggling up to Jack, only to make a realization, he wasn't in bed. If he wasn't crashed on the couch, or peacefully asleep here he was in the basement, his man cave.

Back in the living room, I called out his name several times but had gotten no response. I didn't suspect anything except for maybe Jack fell asleep in the middle of an Xbox live session playing Black Ops with Alex or someone. When I began be descend down the stairs, I noticed something was wrong and it worried me. The sound of a feminine squeal of delight was ringing clearly up the stairway. It obviously wasn't my squeal or anyone I knew personally.

I tried not to fret too much. Jack loved me, he would never hurt me in that way.

I walked in on him pelvic thrusting nude into some girl. My mouth was agape in utter disgust and horror. I lied to myself without knowing; Jack would do anything behind my back. It proved he didn't love me, and I gave him the best of me. My heart was in my throat instead of usually being worn on my sleeve. It was beyond repair for now. I stumbled up the stairs but their moans covered the small thud of my fall.

I rushed into my room taking little. A suitcase with, a book, and all the storage cash in the house. I messily scribbled a note for Jack when he wonders why I left. I'll be sure to give him a better goodbye letter after I get settled to wherever I may be heading. With car keys in hand, I made my way out the door and into my Avalon. In the dark night, I just backed out and began driving.

I didn't have a destination except to get out of Baltimore until I couldn't see signs pointing towards it anymore. Why stay in a city where all the memories now will bring you pain? No one knew where I was going, or for how long and I felt that was a little unsafe. I called the one person who wouldn't scold me for always taking back a groveling Jack.

Alex.

I knew driving and talking on the phone wasn't the safest, but I had a headset, and I was really desperate for someone to comfort me. Slowly with a shaky hand I punched in the ten digits, and hoping he'd answer. I kept my breath held.

The dial tone stopped, and a groggy voice was on the line.

"Andy?" He said, sounding a little disorientated.

Much relief filled me, but the heartache still overwhelmed all. It swelled up with such sadness that my eyes welled with tears. There will be no more running back into Jack's arms. I was done with making that mistake and getting hurt and broken over it.

"Thank god, Alex, you answered," I couldn't help it, the tears spilled over, and my voice choked up. It was hurting to keep the tears in for any longer.

He cleared his throat, and spoke in a calm gentle voice. Alex sounded much awake now. Concern flooded over in his voice. "Andy, where are you? What happened?" He sounded so earnest and worried, and out of everyone Alex was the only who actually cared about my break down rather than telling me I was stupid and should've listened. I already knew I was foolish, and right now, I would rather not be told that.

My words came out in a jumbled mess of mumbles and broken sobs. "Jack, ch-cheated. I'm leaving. Going as far away as possible."

"Andy, don't be irrational about this," Alex started, but I interrupted. I expected him to be more understanding than this. He out of all people should have been able to relate. Him and Lisa went through the same deal.

"Alex, I have to. Being here is only gonna cause misery," I slurred through the tears. Pushing my car through the rainfall.

"It's late, and you're driving in the pouring rain. I don't want you to get into a fatal car wreck because you're not thinking clear,"

"I'm thinking just fine! I need to get away from Baltimore, Alex."

"Please, Andy, for me, come on over here, just for the night,." Alex started, trying to get me to stay. I was planning on interrupting but then he mentioned, "In the morning we'll talk, and if you still want to go, I won't stop you."

The next thing I knew I was pulling up Alex's long windy driveway, and throwing my broken self into Alex's arms. He was standing outside in a zip up hoodie and embraced me as I just cried allowing countless tears to slither down my face. He gently escorted me inside, supporting my dead weight as I held onto him for comfort.

Before I knew it we were in his room, lounging on his bed. The tear production seemed endless even when my eyes felt sore and dry. Alex was holding me against him, and I was literally crying on his shoulder. He'd whisper small words of comfort but nothing worked, my heart was gone, down the drain, and through a shredder. How could you love someone so much, you even love them after something as horrible as this? Regardless of how my heart is in shambles I will always love Jack Barakat. I'd never go back to him, but there will always be instilled inside me a love for him until I die.

"I know the feeling, it's hard but you'll move on. You'll have to." Alex kept telling me. I already knew though. It was only obvious.

"But trust me, being his best friend, I'm gonna give him a lot of shit for this. You were the best thing that was ever his," Alex smiled gently, but his joke didn't make me feel better. I always felt like I was such low class for Jack, just a normal girl when he was in a band touring the US, having a blast. Jack could do better than me, why hasn't he yet; those thoughts always filled my mind. But maybe this whole two year stretch of being on and off, he had found many betters. I was only kept around for the big S on my forehead. S for sucker.

After a while more I began to lie down in his bed and snuggled up against his covers. Alex didn't seem to mind at all that I just came over, broke down for a good hour or so, and crashed in his bed. Actually even with the lights out, we were still next to each other, spooning nearly and cuddling. It felt wonderful. The things you could get away with when with a best friend.

"Alex, I love you.." I murmured and fell asleep.

The next morning, we didn't talk much. I didn't want to, again, my mind was just set on leaving. Alex wasn't going to stop me like promised and i was glad. The next step to just leaving was informing my parents who reside here in Baltimore. They weren't going to react kindly to their only daughter leaving on such a last minute, indecisive move.

"Be safe, and talk to me. Just don't forget about me!" Alex hollered playfully as I rolled out of his driveway. This was going to be an adventure for sure. I was planning on going as far as possible, which equaled to a road trip across the country. Cali was my destination; here i come. Be prepared for me California!



I awoke with labored breathing, and tear stained cheeks. It's been nearly nine months since I left, leaving almost everything behind and yet this memory still haunts me. I didn't understand why my brain liked to torture me so much. What was the point of replaying something I was trying so hard to lock up, and build a brick wall around?

I shook off the melancholy feeling and dragged myself out of bed. Morning hygiene was very important; brushed teeth, washed face, combed hair. It always made me feel refreshed and renewed, especially after repeating that episode in a dream fashion.

Afterwards, I continued on with my daily routine with checking my email just in case I had gotten any job offers as a photographer, or any emails from family and friends back in Baltimore. Opening my Mac laptop, I signed into Gmail to find several new unread messages, and messages from Jack I'm too scared to read. After all the distressed text messages he'd sent me without much of a reply, I would have figured he had gotten a hint.

I first opened the message about a potential job offering. I hoped it wasn't a scam because an free lance photographer, I seemed to be getting a lot of scam spam mail lately. This email was from something I had applied for, and they'd given a position to be a concert photographer. I was overjoyed because not only did I love music, concerts and photography but I was allowed to be up close and personal with the band. The more I read up on the information the more excited I was. My heart sank deep into the pit of my stomach when I read the band though.

All Time Low.

I'd be stuck with Jack for two months. Living with an ex boyfriend who had killed my heart. The only good thing coming out of this was constantly being around my best friend I hadn't seen in almost a year. Being assigned to All Time Low made my job less exciting for two reason; one, I had to see Jack, and two I was already up close, personal and VIP with them. I closed that email, and continued looking at the others, trying to find someone who'd cheer me up.

There was an unread message from one of my best friend's Charity, or Cherry as I call her but I wasn't in the mood to deal with her constant rants. Rather, I opened the new email from thee best friend, Alex.

From: Alex!<3; Prettyboygaskarth@gmail.com
To: Andrea; ohitsandy@gmail.com

Hey stranger;)

How you've been!? You haven't talked to me in forever. WHY YOU NO TALK TO PRETTY BOY? PRETTY BOY OFFENDED. YOU NO LOVE PRETTY BOY!!!!!! D: How could you best friend? I thought we loved each other...haha, I still love you not matter what, Andy. ;D Anyways, I'm getting off topic here, what's up in LOS ANGELES? Baltimore well, it's Baltimore, Maryland, nothing really new. Jack keeps bugging me about you, he still doesn't know what he he did wrong. No one's spelled it out to him, so I guess he still thinks you're still in the unknown. Are you ever going to tell him why you left? You wrote a sticky note letter to him saying:
Jack,

I love you, always. But I can't do this anymore. You've put me through enough. I still and always will love you not matter what, but I'm done. Goodbye.

Xoxo,
Andy

It didn't really explain anything to him, y'know? Anyways, off the topic of my broskii :P I have HUGE news. WE'RE GOING ON A COMPLETE US TOUUUR! Can you believe that? I'm stoked! If only you were her to share my happiness... gosh, I miss you! COME BACK. Charity misses you too! Everyone does, there's like a hole now in the social circle because YOU LEFT. Psh.. go away, I don't know you anymore... jk, I want you back here. Badly. hehe.

I'm done talking, write back you hoe.

Love your bestest friend that's a pretty boy;D

-Gaskarttthhh.

Alex was such a girl sometimes, I mean he was a little over dramatic when he joked around via email but it never failed to make me laugh. I simply replied back avoiding the Jack talk, and apologizing for not writing him sooner. I also added I would see him soon, not specifying how, but that I would, and he wouldn't be expecting to be seeing me this way.

I contemplated greatly over reading Jack's messages to me, or just deleting them, completely erasing any traces of him. us, from my life.

Today's agenda consisted of going down to the office and putting in my notice before I'm off to be a photographer. Being a concert photographer also meant I got paid fair enough, a way more than my cubicle job. After hitting up the boss there, I needed to coordinate plans for sending me off on this tour with All Time Low. I was going to have to talk to Sharon and Rick to see when I'd actually meet up with the boys, and where. I prayed to god they're weren't starting me off in Baltimore. i hoped I wouldn't place a foot in that city ever again, especially not with him there, the memories will come swarming back in a wave when they are immense enough.

While getting ready, Alex's words rang through my head as if he said them. He was right though, Jack as stupid as he was, and as obvious as the answer was, did deserve a reason behind my departure. And I'm the only person who should rightfully serve him that.

I wonder what Jack thought of that night, or what's going on his life now. But then again, I didn't care, or at least I shouldn't because he didn't deserved to be cared about. Yet I still did too much.