We'll Outshine the Stars

The government lecture had me dying from boredom. I started doodling random things, and then for some reason I started doodling ribbons. Ribbons spiraling in on themselves, ribbons tied in bows, ribbons of all kinds. Then I saw the ribbons on my backpack and remembered why I was drawing ribbons. Embarrassed, I erased them all off my page.

Emerson played volleyball, and the whole volleyball team made these colorful little ribbons with their names and jersey numbers on them. Emerson gave me one. Well, I stole it and never gave it back because she never noticed. At our school, if you had a ribbon from any female athlete, that pretty much meant you were dating them. Man, I wish! The ribbon was smooth and black with white polka dots. Her name and number was written on it with some of that cool fabric paint that puffs up in electric green.


I tried to fight it, but I knew I was smiling already. Emerson could be a bit of an airhead. The amount of energy she always had astounded me, but she was one of my best friends…and that was all she would ever be, come the summertime when I left for Warped Tour with my band. That was a bit of a good thing, though. Girlfriends want to date musicians, but then they don’t want them to tour. Don’t cage the eagle, baby. The eagle will still love you from the sky. Emerson was a girl with a whole lot of heart, because she didn’t just have her heart, but mine as well. And she had no idea…

“Mr. Hurley, could you please define reapportionment in relation to politics?” the teacher asked, snapping me back to reality.

“Redistribution of representation in a legislative body, especially the periodic reallotment of U.S. congressional seats every ten years according to changes in the census figures as required by the Constitution,” I rattled off, feeling like a robot. The teacher looked so flustered when I answered the question correctly that it made my classmates laugh. He returned to the lesson, and I returned to thinking too much about Emerson.

I knew her before I knew Tay, and Mike, and Jordan, and Rob. Emerson and I grew up together. Well, she was the first person I met when we moved to New York. The first time we met, we were in sixth grade and she was crying because she burned off quite a good bit of her hair with the Bunsen burner in the science lab. I was in the office waiting for my schedule. She called her mom and was going home. She was more scared than anything. I talked to her a little bit while we waited in the office together. Her mouth ran about a million miles a minute… It was adorable.

Nowadays, Emerson only rambled when she was uncomfortable with the situation she was in…Or when she was drunk. Drunk Emerson was fucking hilarious.

The bell rang. “We’ll have a quiz on the vocabulary in chapter seven next class!” the teacher yelled after the teenagers that stampeded out the doorway. Once I was in the hallway, I headed for my locker…when Emerson jumped onto my back. “Cameron!”

“Emerson!” I yelled back with just as much energy, tightening my grip on her thighs as she wrapped her arms around my neck. This was normal for us.

“So,” she began in that tone that meant she wanted something from me. “The talent show is coming up…”

“Oh my god, Em, not that again.”

“Come on, Cameron, you’re so fucking talented! Have Tay sing with you! If you don’t want to do an original, you can just, I don’t know, cover something…”

“Emerson, you’ve asked me the same thing the same time of year every year since freshman year. What makes you think my answer will change? Why do you want me in the talent show so badly, anyways?”

“Because when you go, I definitely won’t get to see any of your shows,” she mumbled as I walked a little slower down the stairs, getting a better grip on her. I bit my lip, trying not to dwell on that thought. “Come on, Cameron, please? It’s our last year! Go out with a bang!” Emerson said excitedly, throwing her hands up in the air to imitate the motion of an explosion, but she ended up hitting a locker with her hand. “Ouch! Fuckery!” Em whined, rubbing her wrist.

“No dice, sunshine,” I told her with a laugh, letting her slide off my back when we arrived at her locker.

“Why the fuck not?” Emerson whined before she pouted and sighed in frustration. "Even if I'm the only person out of the entire student body, I will still stand and clap and scream and otherwise make a complete fool of myself for you...Does that influence your decision?"

I felt that way all the time, though – like Emerson was the only one supporting me in this whole process of making music as a career. And I knew she would do all those things, too. I shot her a sideways glance, shrugging and rubbing the back of my neck. “…Maybe just a little bit.”


I went home feeling like there was a weight in my stomach. I just signed up Tay and I for the talent show. I still had Emerson convinced that I wasn’t going to do it, and she was in volleyball practice right now, so she wouldn’t see the list until Monday - the day of the talent show. I was driving over to Tay’s so we could practice.

“Let’s fly-y-y-y-y-y,” Tay sang, but her voice cracked when she tried to go too high. “Shit,” she muttered before clearing her throat and drinking some water. “Why did you pick this song again, Cameron?”

“I found a cool cover online and I thought, ‘hey, Tay can totally do this.’ So, yeah…”

“Tay totally can’t do this,” she mumbled, yanking her beanie off. “Seriously, why this song of all songs to cover?” Tay rolled her eyes when I was silent. “This is one of Em’s favorites, isn’t it?” I laughed nervously, feeling a blush invade my face. “I knew it! Emerson and Cameron, sitting in a tree…” Tay trailed off, but I hit her with one of the pillows of her sofa. It didn’t help that our names somewhat rhymed, as well. “Why have you never made a move, Cameron?”

“Tay, Em’s my best friend,” I coughed awkwardly, playing the bar chords again. “Let’s try it from the top again…” Tay sang the chorus while I sang the verses. I wanted this song to be perfect for Emerson, because she was right – after the end of the school year, we would hardly get to see each other, maybe never again. I’d be touring with Tay and the guys, and Emerson was off the Pratt Institute in New York City. I liked how we were both following our dreams, but I never dreamed we’d be so far away from each other. It made me so sad…

That Monday, I was eating lunch with Tay outside. After she figured out I liked Emerson, Tay wouldn’t let me live it down. I stood up to throw out my trash when Emerson jumped me again. “What the-?”

“You signed up for the talent show!” Emerson said happily, hugging me tightly.

“Oh, yeah…”

“What song are you guys gonna play?” Emerson asked us both when we sat down with Tay again.

Tay opened her mouth to speak, but I quickly kicked her under the table. “It’s a surprise,” I told Emerson with a smile, which got Tay rolling her eyes at me again.

Emerson looked so happy, though. “Ok, great! Well, I need to get to art class now. Bye, Cameron, bye, Tay!” she said cheerfully, leaving after swiftly kissing my cheek.

Tay just gave me this look of smug satisfaction when Emerson was gone. “What? She does that all the time,” I laughed nervously. Because that was the first time Emerson ever did that.

If I had my way, it wouldn’t be the last.


Emerson was helping out backstage, decked out in black skinny jeans, black TOMS, and a plain black Henley top. She stood next to me whenever she wasn’t working with the other stage hands. I wanted to say so many things to her, but we couldn’t talk when we were backstage because the crowd could hear us. When they announced our names, Tay and I went out on stage. It was actually easier playing for bigger crowds of kids in different states, than playing for our little student body in our auditorium, because we actually knew these people. I had a feeling Tay and I were either going to get booed off the stage or a standing ovation. And I doubted we’d get the latter.

I saw Emerson watching us from sidestage, the biggest smile on her face when Tay and I started to sing. Tay was just singing, but I was playing guitar too. We were starting to get into the high part of the chorus…so, Tay’s voice inevitably cracked again. She tried to shake it off, but I could tell the girls laughing at her in the front row really got to her.

I made it to the first verse when Tay suddenly dashed off the stage. Emerson hugged Tay tightly, and I could see Tay shuddering with sobs. I kept singing, even though everyone was softly laughing at what was happening. I glared at Tay, trying to tell her to come back over here with my eyes, when Tay shoved Emerson out onto the stage. Emerson got that deer in headlights look on her face, but she scuttled over to sit beside me and take the mic, just in time to sing the chorus when I finished the first verse.

Tay wiped her tears away and gave me two thumbs up. I would have to thank that crazy bitch later.

…I never knew Emerson could sing like that. One more thing for me to miss about her when I went on tour, I guess.

When we finished, Emerson’s volleyball buddies stood up and screamed and clapped and whistled like crazy for her, so the rest of the crowd slowly did the same. Emerson was grinning and blushing so badly as she pressed her face to my chest. We stepped off the stage, still hugging each other. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I just did that!”

“I can’t believe the crowd’s still clapping for you,” I teased, putting my guitar down and sitting on the floor by one of the old play props. I scooted over so she could sit beside me.

“They’re clapping for you, too, you rockstar,” Emerson teased, snuggling into my side and lifting up my arm so she could wrap it around her waist.

“Bitch, please, we’re so much better,” I told Emerson with a laugh, leaning down to kiss her like I’ve wanted to since eighth fucking grade. She kissed back just as enthusiastically. “We’ll outshine the stars.”