Hidden Sadness

I watched as Tray Just stood there as still as a stone.

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to touch him, hold him, tell him that I was sorry.

How could I let myself get into a situation like this. Brenden used me to make Tray jealous!

I was caught between conflicting emotions. Should I be mad at my self for letting Brenden do that? Or, let my self be a bit happy that Tray likes me, as fucked up as that sounds.

I moved a bit closer and reached out to touch his shoulder.

“Tray, I’m so sor-”

“Don’t.” He cut me off before I could finish. “I told you this was a bad idea.”

I dropped my hand to my side. “No, you said no such thing! You hardly even talk to me much!” I yelled exasperated.

He just shook his head. “I think we should just… stop.”

“Stop?” I repeated, confused.

“Yeah, stop whatever you think this is between us.”

I felt my hear drop a little. “But-”

Tray abruptly walked out of the room and down the hall. I followed him unsure of what else to do.

“Tray!” I yelled a bit panicked. “Please just talk to me.”

He didn’t look back at me though as he knocked on a door just a little ways down from my room.

James opened the door in just his boxers, and rubbing his eyes but smirked when he saw me standing there.

“Hey sweet heart.” He licked his lips, taking all of me in before glancing at an angry Tray.

“Wheat’s wrong?” James asked him.

“Brenden says your in charge of the girls today, the rest of us are going out on a shipment run.”

James eyes widened before his mouth broke out in a huge grin. “Me? I’m watching the girls today?” He looked at me a laughed a bit loudly. “HA! Holy shit, what did you do?” He asked patronizingly, while staring at me amused.

Tray growled at James. “Just get Laura, Vic, and Frankie ready to go, will ya?”

Tray began walking away again, back towards Brenden’s room.

James stood in the door way arms folded across his chest, smirking.

“Careful,” He said as I looked after Tray. “Your playing with fire.”

I frowned at him and he chuckled before walking back in to his room.

Tray walked into a room that was right next to Benden’s. He didn’t knock so I assumed it was his room.
Sighing I walked over to the door and knocked but he didn’t answer.

“Tray, please don’t ignore me.” I begged.

I knocked again, a bit louder this time, but still nothing.

Why was he acting like this? Sure, Brenden used me to make him jealous but that doesn’t give him the right to straight out ignore me. Does it?

I sighed and decided the hell with it and just barged in but gasped when I saw a shirtless Tray under a basically naked, pleased looking Zoë.

“I- uh-” I couldn’t form any words.

Tray lied. He straight out lied to my face!

I felt a mix of emotions run through my body. Anger being the most prominent. I wasn’t only angry at him though, I was angry at my self. He must have thought I was so stupid. I cant believe I actually trusted him. I shouldn’t trust anyone here.

Zoë climbed off Trays lap and Tray got up to walk over to me.

“Nicole, what are you-”

“You lied.” I spat at him angrily.

He looked taken aback. “What?”

I walked out of the room and found myself opening my door.

I didn’t realize Tray had actually followed me untill I tried to slam the door and he caught it with the palm of his hand, looking angry and surprised.

I sighed and folded my arms.

“Get out.”

He brows pinched together. “Why are you angry?” he asked lowly.

“You lied to me.” I stated as if it was obvious.

“How?” he asked confused.

I glared at him not prepared for these games. “How?” I said in disbelief.

He stared at me expectantly. How could he act like he doesn’t know?

“You told me nothing was going on between you and Zoë.”

“There isn’t.” He simply stated.

I scoffed. “That sure looked like something to me!”

He sighed and took a step closer. “There’s nothing going on between Zoë and I.”

Frustrated, I yelled “People don’t just get half naked together when there’s nothing going on!”

“Its complicated with Zoë,” He sighed. “She does stuff like that all the time, but we’ve never had sex Nicole.”

I shook my head and turned away from him about to walk into the bathroom but Tray grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

“Hey.” he whispered. “I’m sorry I was mad before. I know you cant control what Brenden makes you do.”

I felt myself soften a little towards him.

How can someone I barley know make me feel so safe and calm.

“I’m sorry to, I should have pushed him away or something.”

He moved closer and he caressed my cheek. “Your so beautiful.” he spoke softly.

I felt my self blush and looked away. “No, I’m not.” I felt awkward. No one has really called me that, and meant it.

He lifted my chin up and forced me to look at him. “You are Nicole.” He said sternly.

I starred into his eyes and watched him glance at my lips before quickly looking back at my eyes.

I moved closer and brushed my lips against his.

I felt him suck in a sharp breath. My blood felt hot, pumping fast under my skin.

“We can't do this…” he whispered against my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. That must have been the breaking point for him because he moaned and crashed his lips against mine.

My knees began to get weaker as his hands roamed my body before slipping his fingers into my belt loops pulling me even closer.

Tray gently bit my bottom lip asking for entrance and I grinned allowing him access to my tongue.

I moaned against his mouth as his tongue moved against mine, encouraging his hands to slip down my thighs and pick me up.

My back slammed against the wall causing me to gasp. Tray groaned and attached his lips to my neck, sucking and nibbling hard on my skin.

“Fuck, Tray…” I moaned.

He pulled back a little and set me down.

“What’s wrong?” I asked confused.

“Brendens going to come looking for me soon if I don’t get going.” He sighed running a hand through his hair. “Nicole, you know no one can know about this right?”

I nodded a little recalling what James said. If Brenden found out I was pretty sure id be in fot he beating of my life.

“Where are you guys going anyway?” I was curious what they do when they leave the house.

“Just a business deal.” He answered not revealing any information.

“Why do you need Laura and them?”

He sighed. “I told you not to ask question you don’t want the answer to.” He moved away and opened the door. “Ill see you later. Ok?”

“Ok.”

He walked out and closed the door behind him, leaving me annoyed and confused.