Can't Help But Wish

”Mom, we need to talk to you about something,” I started and kept my eyes glued on the table. I didn't even want to see the look on her face when we would tell her that Zacky and I were dating again. She would freak out.

”What is it now?” she asked as she gave Liam another piece of banana.

”We're dating,” Zacky said straight away.

”I, uh... What? I thought you told me last week you weren't,” mom said and glared at me.

”Yeah, but... We figured it would be better if we were in a relationship,” I said quietly and shrugged.

”Better for who?”

”For Liam, of course!”

”And for us, too,” Zacky said quickly. I rolled my eyes so hard it started to hurt.

”I see. So you're not going to use her again, are you?” mom asked Zacky.

”What do you mean, use? When have I ever used her?” he asked.

”You got her pregnant and then left. You just wanted her to be around you for the rest of your life, didn't you? And by getting a child with her you got what you wanted,” mom spat. My eyes flew wide open.

”Mom! That is not what happened at all! Do you even think about how you make me feel when you say things like that? I care about Zacky!” I exclaimed.

”How could you care about someone who left you and your baby for almost two years?” she asked and I fell silent.

”She loves me,” Zacky said quietly.

”You better not say anything like that ever again,” mom muttered, ”She doesn't love you.”

”Who are you to say something like that?” Zacky asked, ”Huh? I see you haven't been in a relationship in a long time. You don't even know what love is.”

”Get out,” mom muttered, ”Right now. Get out.”

”I'd be more than happy to do that,” Zacky muttered as he got up. He picked Liam up and walked out.

”Great job,” I muttered and shook my head, ”It's about time for you to get a life instead of trying to ruin mine.”

”Get out,” she muttered and pointed at the door, ”And don't come back before you've made sure that he doesn't live with you anymore.”

”That's bullshit. I was your only family and now you don't have that anymore, either. Don't even think that I will let you see my son ever again.” With that, I walked out.

-

”Are you okay?” Zacky asked as soon as I'd sat in the car.

”She gets so annoying whenever she even hears your name,” I said with a sigh as he started the car.

”What did you tell her?”

”I told her that she's now lost me and her grandson,” I muttered, ”I don't even know her anymore. She's my mother! Shouldn't she be there for me, no matter what kind of decisions I make or who I decide to date?”
”She'll understand eventually what she's lost,” Zacky told me, ”Don't worry.”

-

Later that night I sat in the kitchen with Val and Liam. Zacky, Matt, Johnny and Brian were in the living room, talking about their upcoming tour.

”What exactly did you say to your mom?” Val asked, taking a bite of her pizza slice. We'd been talking about the incident at mom's place.

”I said, ”Don't think you're ever going to see Liam again.” Or something like that,” I said with a shrug, ”I don't know. She seems to hate Zacky.”

”Really? How could anyone hate him? I tell you, if I wasn't married to Matt, I would so date Zacky,” she said with a wink.

”Val! Oh god,” I laughed and looked at Liam who was just about to fall asleep in his little chair.

”Well it's true! Brian seems to be very serious in his relationship with Michelle and Johnny is... Well, Johnny. Zacky is pretty much like Matt,” she explained with a shrug.

”Ooh! Should I be worried?” I asked with a laugh.

”Ha ha. I'm happily married.”

”Good. Because I finally feel like Zacky and I could make this work, you know? And it's better for Liam if we're happy, right?”

”Right. Speaking of him, maybe you should take the little guy to bed...” Val pointed at Liam who was now asleep, resting his cheek against the table. I laughed as I picked him up. I started carrying him into his room. I put him to bed and turned off the lights before closing the door. Then I went into the kitchen, but Val wasn't there anymore. So I went into the livingroom where I found everyone.

”Oi, what's going on?” I asked as I walked to them.

”We decided to go to Brian's summer place in Miami next weekend,” Zacky said as he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me against his side. He kissed the top of my head.

”Yeah? Well I can't go,” I said.

”Why not?”

”Because I have a kid.”

”You do, really?” Zacky pretended to be shocked. I rolled my eyes.

”My parents can look after him while we're gone. Come on, Chels, everyone wants to have a good time before we go on tour,” he murmured to me.

”Hmpfh... Well, okay,” I said finally and shrugged.

”She's in!” Zacky exclaimed.

”She's in!” Val repeated and soon everyone was shouting.

”Shh! Liam is sleeping!” I hissed and the whole room went silent.

”We're gonna have so much fun!” Val whispered, ”It's gonna be like the old times!”

And that's how I felt, too. I felt like things were finally how they were supposed to be, like they had been over two years ago when we all were friends. As I stood there, surrounded by our friends, I was happy. I had a boyfriend, I had friends and I had the best kid in the world. What else could I need? Well, okay, maybe I needed to be able to be in the same room with my mom again but that would happen eventually. What I meant was that I didn't need to be married, I didn't need a job – because I had all I wanted.

And well, okay, maybe I knew that in the future my relationship with Zacky would change. But what the hell, why was I even thinking about the future? Whatever needed to happen would happen but like I said, that was in the future and I wasn't even going to think about it. Not yet.