Can't Help But Wish

I had to admit that I was pretty lonely without Zacky. We had been so close before he had gone on tour with his band. And now that I hadn't seen him in over two months, I was starting to lose my mind. I knew it would get rough when he was away but I had no idea it would be like this. I couldn't sleep because I was used to the feeling of his body next to mine in bed. Whenever I watched TV or some movie, I looked to my side, only to find that he wasn't there with me. No hugging, kissing, holding hands, nothing.

I knew I was making a big deal out of it. No one had died, for fucks sake. He would get back eventually and life could go on again. But... Something was going on. When he had left, he had promised to call me every day. And I expected that to happen. And at first it was like that... But then he would only call me once a week and then once a month... And I got it, I knew he would be busy. He couldn't spend all his time on the phone with me, of course not. But something was going on and I knew it. And I wasn't talking about cheating or stuff like that because I knew he would never do that, not to me.

Now that I was alone again in the house with Liam, I had to do everything by myself. I took care of the kid, cooked and cleaned up the house. I was glad that at least my mom helped me with some stuff. She would go to the store for me if I didn't have time to do it myself or she would look after Liam if I needed to go for a walk. I think we were starting to get along better again and I was happy because of that.

But... I was still kind of confused because of Zacky and his absence. So, as it was a Friday night, I decided to call him. I dialed his number and waited. I kept tapping the floor with my foot while I waited for him to pick up. And finally, he did.

”Hello?”

”Babe? It's me,” I said into the phone.

”Oh... Oh, hi. What's up?”

”Well, you haven't exactly called me today... Or this week... Or this month,” I muttered.

”But I did call you a few weeks ago... We've just been busy, that's all,” he said after clearing his
throat.

”Is everything alright?”

”Yeah, everything's fine. Listen, I really need to go now...”

”Can't we talk for a minute?”

”Chels, baby, you knew it was going to be like this,” he said with a sigh.

”Oh, so it's my fault that you haven't bothered to call me?”

”I didn't say that. Look, I promise to call you later, okay?”

”No, no! I need to talk to you right now, not later!”

”Geez, calm down. What? What is it now?”

”What is going on? Why did you just suddenly forget me?” I asked quietly.

”What are you talking about? We're going to get married when I get back,” he said.

”You have called me like five times in the past two months and yet you talk like everything is alright!” I exclaimed.

”Hey, hey. You knew it would happen. So don't blame me for doing what I love and trying to get money so that I could bring food to your fucking table,” he muttered.

”Fine. Whatever.” After that I ended the call and threw the phone away.

Well, that didn't go quite as planned, I thought as I laid down on the couch. Now it was bothering me even more! As soon as I had closed my eyes, my phone rang. I groaned quite loudly as I got up from the couch and grabbed the damn phone from the floor.

”What?” I hissed into the phone even though I didn't really even know who it was.

”Don't do that to me. Don't hang up on me.” It was Zacky.

”Well what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what you've been up to in the past two months. I know absolutely nothing about your life when you're away,” I muttered into the phone.

”Look, babe, this is stupid. I don't want you to get mad at me because of something like this. Let's just talk when I get home, okay?”

”What? No! You're coming back next month, that's way too far away!”

”What do you want me to do, then?” he asked.

”Let me talk to someone,” I said.

”What? Like who?”

”Matt. Or Brian.”

”Why?”

”Just because. I want to talk to someone,” I said.

”Fine...”

A moment later I heard Zacky talking to someone. Then the phone found its way to Matt.

”Hi, Chelsea. What's up?”

”I, uh... I hate to ask this, but, uh... Is Zacky okay? Has he been... Up to something?” I asked. I heard him laugh.

”What do you mean? If you're worried that he's been cheating on you...” Matt trailed off as someone grabbed the phone from him.

”Do you think I'm cheating on you?” Damn, it was Zacky again.

”No, no!” I exclaimed, ”You got it all wrong!”

”You think I'm cheating on you!” Apparently he chose to ignore me.

”I don't!”

”Why can't you ask me? Why do you need to ask Matt if it's true?”

”Listen, I didn't ask him if you were cheating on me. I asked if you were okay,” I muttered.

”Whatever.”

”Don't you whatever me.”

”For the first time in a while, I don't feel like talking to you. Bye,” he muttered before ending the call.

When did we turn out to be like this? When had we ever fought or shouted at each other? It wasn't us, nope. I hated it because I just hated fighting, especially with the people I loved. But what made me feel a bit better was the it wasn't anything we couldn't fix. A few apologies, some hugging and some kisses and everything would be okay again, right?