Can't Help But Wish

I don't think I had ever had a fight like that with my boyfriend. And I think I never wanted to go through anything like that again which is why I had decided to leave and break up with Zacky. For the first time ever I felt like I wanted to leave my hometown and go somewhere else. Maybe to England or Italy or Australia. It didn't really matter, I just wanted to leave it all behind. And honestly, what if Zacky had been sleeping with that gorgeous bitch? Of course he wouldn't tell me about it. I couldn't know if he was lying to me.

It was the loneliest Thursday night I had ever had. Even Liam wasn't there to cheer me up with his fist pumping. It was just me and my thoughts in the empty house. I felt pathetic as I laid on the couch and stared at the white ceiling. I had been playing with the ring on my finger, my engagement ring, and thought that funny how it obviously didn't mean anything to Zacky. Funny how he had changed so much in such a short time. Funny how we were going to break up. I mean, come on, did anyone expect us to be together anymore? Well, maybe Zacky's parents but I was sure that he would figure out what to tell them. I mean, I was pretty sure that he wasn't going to say anything about sleeping with other people.

Actually it didn't even matter if Zacky had cheated on me or not because I would break up with him anyway. There was no point in being together if he lived in a different house and we saw each other like once a month. Obviously I couldn't help but feel a little sad, knowing that the life we had built together would be coming to an end soon. All our memories, pictures, the nice words he had said and done to me and most importantly the time we had spent together meant nothing now.

My eyes shot wide open as the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. It took me a while to find my phone and when I did, I answered without checking who the caller was which was obviously stupid because I knew it would be either Val or Zacky.

”What?” I mumbled into the phone and rubbed my eyes with my hand, only to realize that my mascara would end up being smudged.

”Come outside. I'm at the front door.” It was Zacky. Ugh.

”No, I look horrible and I just woke up,” I muttered.

”I don't care what you look like,” he said with a sigh.

I ended the call and forced myself to the front door. I pulled it open and looked at Zacky.

”Hey,” he said quietly and smiled a little.

”Wipe that smirk off your face,” I muttered.

”Can I come in?” he asked.

”Nope.”

”Come on. It's the middle of the night and it's fucking freezing!” he said.

”I can't help but wonder who's taking care of Liam...” I muttered.

”Val. Don't you trust me at all?”

”Not really, no,” I admitted with a shrug. He looked like I had punched him in the stomach or kicked his teeth in.

”That's fucking bullshit,” he muttered while shaking his head.

”I might as well give you your ring back...” I trailed off as I started pulling the ring off my finger.

”I'm not taking that back,” he told me, ”It's yours.”

”No, it actually isn't. And I want nothing to do with this ring or with you,” I said.

About a whole minute passed by as he didn't say anything.

”I need to explain some things to you,” he said finally.

”Oh, really?”

”That woman you saw at Matt's place earlier, well, she was a wedding planner. She was planning our wedding and it was supposed to be a surprise but since you misunderstood some things and apparently are trying to break up with me now, I figured that a surprise isn't worth losing you,” he told.

Well, fuck. Now I felt like an ass. I definitely had not seen that one coming...

”You have to be kidding me,” I mumbled in shock.

”Oh, but I'm serious. I was going to marry you.”

Was going to? WAS? Well, I mean, maybe I wouldn't have married myself either if I were him. Not after what I had said to him, and yeah... Oh man, I hadn't felt that bad in a while. And I couldn't really blame anyone but myself, which obviously sucked.

”I'm going to go now and sleep and yeah...” I mumbled and was about to close the door but he stopped me.

”Oh, you want the ring. Here,” I said quietly and handed it to him. And he took it. Oh so now we were officially done. Great. I was a single mother once again.

”Why would I want it back now?” he asked suddenly. I didn't even bother to try to hide the tears that were now rolling down my cheeks. I had just ruined my relationship.

”Because you're breaking up with me,” I mumbled and shrugged. I sniffled and rubbed my eyes.

”What? I'm not breaking up with you. Why would you think that?”

”Because I'm horrible. I accused you of cheating on me. And because after all this, I really don't deserve you,” I whispered and let out a cry.

I couldn't even look at his face. He didn't say anything and I assumed that he agreed with me. Then he grabbed my hand and put the ring back on my finger.

”Maybe you overreacted a bit but I still love you,” he told me. I felt his hand on my cheek as he wiped away the tears and forced me to look at him. I swallowed and bit the inside of my lip.

”But I feel really bad,” I whispered.

”I know you do. But I can't really comfort you if you won't let me. And, let's be honest, I was pretty sure that one day you would completely lose it and freak out and react like this,” he said.

”I thought you wanted to split up.”

”Why would I want to break up? I love you Chels,” he said and smiled at me. Aww, he was too good for me.

”Uhm...”

”So, can I come in?” he asked and grinned like a fool.

”Sure,” I mumbled with a nod. He walked in and I closed the door.

”So, are we getting married on Saturday? Everything's ready,” he said as I followed him into the kitchen. He went to the fridge and took out a bottle of water which he handed to me.

”I, uh... Do you want to be married to me? Be honest.”

”Of course.”

”Well, I guess we will be getting married then...” I mumbled and shrugged,

”But I don't have a dress!”

”Yes you do. Val took care of everything. Don't worry,” he said and took a step toward me. He rested his hands on my waist and he looked down at me.

”Oh, okay...”

”Come on, babe. Let's forget what happened earlier and move on,” he said quietly and moved my hair away from my face.

”I'm sorry, Zacky. I feel horrible,” I admitted quietly.

”See, that's exactly why we won't think about it anymore. I forgive you and I'm not mad at you, okay?”

”Okay.”

”Good, now, I'm pretty tired. Let's go to bed,” he said and started pushing me out of the kitchen.

”Are you sure?”

”Of what? That I want to go to sleep? I'm positive,” he told me.

”No. That you want to do this? Even though I said all those things...” I mumbled as we walked into our bedroom.

”Hey, shh. I thought we agreed that we wouldn't talk about it anymore,” he said with a laugh.

He stopped me and looked into my eyes with a smile.

”Make sure you listen to me right now. I love you, Chelsea. I want to marry you and I am going to do that on Saturday,” he said. I nodded.

”Okay,” I said quietly.

”Now, smile for me.”

”Ugh.” I forced a smile on my face.

”That's my girl,” he whispered before he leaned in to kiss me.

"Your lips are really soft," I whispered against his lips.

"Oh, I know."

We hugged for a while before we got in the bed and fell asleep holding each other.

The next morning we drove to Matt and Val's place to pick our kid up. As Val opened the door and saw us holding hands, she furrowed her eyebrows.

”Chelsea. Zacky,” she said and looked at us. She seemed to be confused.

”I thought that you thought that Zacky was cheating on you,” she said to me. Suddenly she looked somewhat amused.

”Oh ha ha. Stop it,” I said and tried not to laugh as I felt really embarrassed. Zacky wrapped his arm around me and held me tightly. He kissed the top of my head.

”But I see that all is well now,” Val said and smiled at us, ”You two belong together. Everyone knows that so don't even try to break up.”

”She was actually trying to leave me last night. She tried to give me the ring back and she was crying and being all miserable,” Zacky told her with a laugh.

”Can we not talk about it?” I mumbled. My cheeks were like on fire because I was so ashamed.

”Of course, babe,” Zacky said. I looked up at his face and he gave me a quick kiss.

”Okay this is getting too sappy,” Val mumbled and let us in. She led us into the livingroom where Matt and Liam were laying next to each other on the couch. Matt had his arm around the kid and I'm pretty sure they were both asleep.

”Looks like someone has stolen our kid,” I said with a laugh.

”They've been like that all morning,” Val said quietly. The three of us just looked at the two boys on the couch.

”They look really cute, though,” I whispered, ”Don't you think, Zacky?”

”Uh, no, not really,” he said with a shrug.

”What? Yes they do!” I looked back at Matt and Liam and noticed that Matt was waking up. His eyes wandered around the room before they focused on the three of us.

”Oh, hey,” he mumbled and rubbed his eyes, ”I think we fell asleep.”

”We came to get my stuff and the kid,” Zacky told him.

”Oh. So you two are, you know..?”

”Yeah. Still getting married on Saturday,” Zacky said and pulled me closer to his side.

”Oh, so she knows about the wedding? Okay,” Matt said and nodded.

He sat up straight and Liam seemed to be waking up, too. He rubbed his eyes with his little hands and looked around the room, just like Matt had done a few minutes before.

”Morning, dude,” Matt said and patted Liam's head. The little boy grinned and wrapped his arms around Matt.

”I'm pretty sure that your kid loves me more than you,” Matt joked as he stood up.

”Liam? Honey, are you ready to go home?” I asked as Liam climbed down from the couch.

”Yep!” he exclaimed and started walking to us.

”Go pack your bags,” I told Zacky as I picked Liam up from the floor.

”Oh, they're already packed,” he said, ”I was sure that you'd let me back home.”

”Oh... Okay. Well... Let's go then.”

”Let's,” he nodded. We thanked Matt and Val for looking after our kid and then we went back home as a happy family.