I Hate To Be The One To Bear The Bad News

This is all so much. Driving to.. pick Ronnie up who has been in jail for three and a half months, right after the boy who I also love left me.

Why. why. why. why. why. The same word was running through my mind.

Why was this happening? Why did this happen? Why did I have to let Max come over that day? Why did Ronnie have to go to jail? Why was a so pathetic?

Why did I agree to have Maggie drive to get Ronnie after we had a fight.

I stared out the window, the sun was just starting to come up. It was 7:45am. Within these forty five minutes,I've called my mom, the jail had called me, I've called Max, Bryan and Robert have both checked in, and a bunch of other random friends who I barely remember. News travels fast I guess. Ronnie's release is already on four gossip websites. His name is trending on twitter. Jesus Christ. My phone hasn't stopped beeping for hours it feels like.

We drove through the huge gates of the prison, the tall fence was covered in barbed wire just like you see in the movies. We pulled into the huge parking lot. Everything suddenly got cold, not just cold as in temperature . But scary cold, dead cold. My stomach turned with nervous butterflies. Ronnie, I was going to see him for the first time in three fucking months. How am I going to explain everything

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I opened the car door, stepping out into the fresh air. Taking it all in. I looked over at Maggie who was staring at me. Her lips mouthed the words

"I'm sorry"

I nodded at her with sympathy. We both walked in front of the car, down to the doors. When we reached the two huge steel doors, our hands intertwined.

"Ready?"

I gulped. no

"Mhm."

--

"Fill out these forms." A women maybe in her late 40's sat behind a glass window. The bags under her eyes were dark purple. She had dark brown glasses that sat on the bridge of her pointy nose. She handed me a couple sheets of paper to fill out.

Name, age, all that jazz.

I filled everything out pretty damn fast. My writing might not have been really nice considering my hands were shaking like crazy, but she should be able to read it all.

"and you're here for.." Her mouth hung open, waiting for me to respond.

"Uh. I've never been here before.. but my, boyfriend is getting released I guess.. a guy named Daniel from here called me a little while ago, telling me to come in.." I let out a huge sigh when I was done. I could barely think straight. I swear drops of sweat were sliding down my forehead as we speak.

"Oh yes. him. wait here please."

Maggie squeezed my hand a little tighter, reassuring me everything would be okay. The sea foam green walls made me a bit uneasy. They were tacky. I didn't realize the color of brick could make me nervous... but it did. Everything about this place made me nervous and I was only in the waiting room.

"Everything's gonna be fine, Dee." Maggie whispered under her breath.

A man with short strawberry blonde hair walked into the room. He had glasses also, small and round this time. His shirt was tucked in to his blue jeans. He had a weird name tag thing, showing he worked for the jail.

"Delia?" He walked over to me, holding his hand out.

"Daniel, I'm guessing." I put mine in his. He looked me straight in the eyes and shook it.. pretty hard. He meant business.

"Follow me." He started to walk towards two big doors to the left of the room. Maggie gave me one last look, and sent me off with Daniel to meet Ronnie.

--

We walked through the long halls of the Las Vegas jail, the brick walls were painted white. Not newly painted though, they were chipping and had lots of random stains on them. You could tell this place hasn't been renovated in a long time.

"You're all he talks about, you know. You are very beautiful, just like he said." Daniel looked at me and gave me a small comforting smile. He could tell how nervous I was.

"Thanks." My eyes went back down to my feet. I had on Moccasins I bought last year, they were still in good shape considering I wore them the entire summer. My sweat pants dragged under my shoes, picking up all the dust that was on the dirty cream colored plaster floor.

We halted to a stop when we were in front of another big door, that led to some room Ronnie was in I think. There was a small window on the door, all I could see was wardens, security, and some other random people with suits.

He opened the door for me, I walked through first. My stomach was going insane. My heart sped up, I was scared to look around the room. Seeing Ronnie's face for the first time scared me.. I was so scared. I don't even know why. I should be excited, which I am but just... I don't know.

We stood in a long room, filled with windows that had phones hung to the sides of them. This is where you get to talk to the inmates I think...

"Wait here" Daniel walked through another set of doors. I sat on one of the little stools that were connected to the floor. I looked through the shiny glass, seeing my reflection stare back at me. I looked tired, and scared, I didn't look beautiful at all. My hair was plopped on top of my head, random stays falling from the bun. My eyeliner was smudged, my lipstick was faded. I didn't look beautiful. I wasn't beautiful.

My heart stopped when I heard the doors open again. Oh my god. I peeked over, seeing two men holding onto Ronnie's forearms. He was still handcuffed. His hair was a little longer, he looked gorgeous as ever.

He hadn't seen me yet.. considering I wasn't really showing myself and his head was down. I don't think they even told him I was coming here..

"Ronnie." I stood up, walking to the center of the room. My eyes filled with tears, Its really him.

"Delia!" My hands flung to my mouth, trying to hold the crying noises from escaping my trembling lips.

He bit his lip as tears fled from his beautiful chocolate brown eyes. The cuffs came undone and I ran into his arms, kissing him with more passion then ever before. So many emotions were running through me. I never wanted to let go of him, ever. He held me close to his chest, picking me up off the ground.

His hands ran through my hair, as mine ran through his. He spun me around in a circle and finally put me down. My hands still on his face, stroking his cheeks that were soaked with tears.

"You're really h-here" He whispered trying not to break down even more then he hasn't had. His hands hadn't left my tiny waist.

"I love you so much Ronnie Joseph Radke. Never leave me again, please."

"Never"