I Hate To Be The One To Bear The Bad News

How is this happening. How is this even real.

Ronnie inhaled, causing me to tense up. I knew he was going to blow up on me, destroy everything in his way. I deserved whatever he said to me. Whatever he did to me.

I can't breathe. Wake up from this nightmare that I'm in.

"I'm done" Every organ in my body stopped. Not just my heart, it felt like my entire body, my entire being just fell apart from those two simple words people use everyday. I knew it was coming, but I didn't know it could feel this way..

I tried responding, I couldn't though. I even tried to just say okay but only a little gasp came from my mouth. He took my breath away, he took everything away that I could use to make myself feel a little bit better about this.

I watched as Ronnie wiped away the tears that flooded from his perfect almond shaped eyes I loved staring into so much. I'll miss that more then anything, waking up to his sleepy eyes staring into mine.

"I-I'm not going t-to say sorry because I k-know that's n-not what you w-want" The little pieces of my goodbye were coming from my trembling lips. I can't believe I'm saying goodbye, to Ronnie. We're done. Like he said, this is what I've been expecting. I knew this is how it would be the moment I kissed Maxwell Scott Green's pierced lips that craved mine so much. But it hurt, so fucking much.

Ronnie just stood there, bawling his eyes out. Waiting for my next sentence. His lips were shaking under his teeth that clenched down on the bottom lip. His nose was bright red already.

"But I h-hope you know I l-l-oved" soon as that word, that word I said everyday to him fell from my lips, that's when I broke down. Literally.

My tiny torso bent over my knees as I cried into my shaky hands. I didn't expect Ronnie to come over and comfort me, which he didn't. I knelt there, crying. Sobbing with Ronnie's weeps in the background. The music was so loud no one could possibly hear us, nor cared at the time.

Get up. Get up Delia. He needs to hear this, you shouldn't be crying. Be strong, don't act like the victim.

My self loathing words made me finally pick my limp body up, looking Ronnie straight in the eyes again. His tattooed hand was cupped over his mouth, trying not to cry as loudly as I was.

"I loved you every single m-moment I spent w-with you. And I w-will alw-ways love y-ou" The 'you' came out of me almost like a cry for help, a tiny scream. Crying while talking is the absolute worst. Nothing ever comes out correctly.

He looked away from me, hiding his loud sobs. He could barely breath now. I wanted to go over to him and just hold him until he stopped crying. but I know that can't happen. It's not an option anymore. He's not mine anymore.

We stood there for a while, crying and staring at each other. Not knowing what to say or do next. Should I leave? Should he leave? Should we sign papers? I've never been in this type of break up. I've been with Ronnie for years. This is so new to me. I felt like standing here was wrong. Everything was wrong.

"d-don't talk to me, ever." The raspy and choked statement that came from my former lover shocked me even more then the break up had. I also should have expected this.

Before I could even reply, tell him I wouldn't talk to him, tell him I respect his wishes, he flicked his middle finger up at me and walked out of the room. Leaving me in a puddle of my own, deserved misery.

Drowning in my shame. I couldn't face anyone, I could face myself. What will people think? I know that's the last thing I should be thinking about but, I'm an awful human being and everyones going to know what I did. Falling in love with two men isn't popular.

I need a fresh start. I need to go somewhere no one knows who I am, or who I've been involved in. I hate to run away from my problems, and from my fucked up mistakes but I can't do this.

Look at me, curled up into a pathetic ball on the floor. Crying. Should I go after him? Should I go run and apologize? Beg for forgiveness? No. It won't be the same. Nothing will ever be the same

My tear filled eyes fell onto the back door I snuck Max out of munutes before. The pounded music shook the floor I was pushing on, trying to gain my balance.

"Delia?" I looked behind me, hearing Maggie's voice calling my name. My eyes went back to the door.

Choose your fate

This is my escape.
--
Preview for the sequel:
My arms stretched as far as they could, I inhaled the fresh Massachusetts air into my lungs, and... maple syrup? I dragged myself out of bed, walking into the kitchen of my city apartment seeing Ashley.. baking.

"Baking pancakes?" I shived when I sat on the cold steel stool, leaning my elbows onto the island.

"Mmmhm, I was hungry as fuck. And yes, I'm making you some too" Ashley flipped a perfectly golden pancake onto its back, pressing lightly down. The smell of the cinnamon maple syrup flew into my nose, my favorite.

"You DO know what today is,right?" Ashley turned her head to me, raising an eyebrow.

"Should I?" My back cracked when I sat up, waiting for an answer.

"Today is officially three years since you moved up here dumb ass" She laughed at me sarcastically going back to her pancakes that were almost finished.

Holy shit. I didn't even realize it. It's honestly been three entire years since I left Vegas, since I left my old life. It wouldn't be old for long, though.

The brick walls of the kitchen sucked the smoke from the food into them. I watched the little clouds that rose from the burning hot pan as Ashley rinsed it under cold water.

"Yeah and in three weeks I'll be going back, not much of an accomplishment."

I slid my hand through the handle of my coffee mug, walking over to the soft green sofa. Our apartment was gorgeous, right in the middle of the city. Boston was absolutely lovely, I loved it here. We were on the top floor too, so we had a nice roof deck that over looked the city. But my mom misses me, and Ashley wants something different.

"You mean three weeks until we'll be going back" Ashley fixed her tied up hair before picking up the two plates of breakfast and bringing it over to us. The plates clacked against the long glass coffee table when they met.

"Three weeks until my past catches up with me.."

I gulped.

Three weeks until the people of my past catch up with me.