I Hate To Be The One To Bear The Bad News

He's so lost, like a puppy that was left with no one or no where to turn.

I stroked his hair while his head laid in my lap. I never thought I'd find myself laying in my bed stroking Max Green's hair while he cried himself to sleep. But, here I am. He needs someone, and so do I.

We talked for a long while about his problem with cutting. About his life, about everything. He's been cutting since 8th grade on and off. Ronnie helped him with it, but he keeps going back to it. When Ronnie got arrested, he said that was all he could think of, cutting. He says it makes him feel, even if that feeling is pain.

After talking to him for what seemed like days, Its like I knew him my entire life. Like I grew up with him, spending my days with him. I know it seems awful considering I've been hibernating for two weeks because of Ronnie's arrest but, I don't feel guilty for needing someone's company.

He loves music more then life itself. He's never been in love. He's a mystery I need to solve. I always thought he was just Ronnie's best friend, who never left his side. Goofy, happy enough. But I was wrong.

--

I traced his face with my finger, from his forehead, to eyes, to nose, all the way down to his neck. His skin is so soft, like a babies. I know it doesn't sound right to compare Max's skin to a babies skin... but it really is that soft.

I feel, attracted to him more then I ever have been. Not sexually, but emotionally. I've always found him cute, but there's this weird attachment I felt when I first saw the cuts, and now I don't want to let him out of my sight.

He snores. But its not annoying or loud, its almost soothing. Did I just say his snores are... soothing?

Snorts and giggles slipped from my lips, uncontrollable snorts and giggles I might add. Shit I'm going to wake him up.

I slapped my hand onto my lips and shut my eyes super tight trying to keep from laughing. Why do I have to be so god damn funny? To funny for my own good.. sighh.

Still grinning from my awful humor, my eyes drifted from Max's beautiful skin and snoring, to my window. It was snowing, of course. This winter has been brutal. Its snowed in Vegas what, ten times before? Its been snowing for two days straight. light snow, but its still snow. I grew up in New England with my dad, where it snows until January, so I wanted a break from all of it. I ended up in Vegas, with my mom.

I wonder what time it is, or how long we've been laying like this. I moved my head ever so cautiously to look at the clock sitting on my nightstand, 6:30 pm. Not to late.

I sighed heavily. My throat was extremely dry from crying, and not having anything to drink all day.

God I'm thirsty, just if I can reach over to the same nightstand that my clock is placed on, I could drink the cup of water my mom left for me yesterday..

"Please don't wake up please don't wake up" I whispered as I reached over to the cup;
Just a little farther...

My eyes went from the cup to Max about three times until I finally reached my goal, WATER.

"Mmm, Delia?"

--
Max's POV;

I rubbed my eyes and looked up seeing her frozen holding a cup of water

It was probably the funniest thing I've seen all day. Her cheeks were all blown up from the water she was holding in them

We both busted out laughing

"What on earth-h are you doing?" My eyes were watering from laughing!

"I was so thirsty oh my god you have no ideaaa!" She was still catching her breath from chugging the water down and leaning back over the place the cup on the nightstand

"You're very thoughtful trying not to wake my ass up" I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled my face into her stomach. She smelt so amazing I had to breath in when my nose touched the fabric

"I am! " I could sense her smiling as she tucked a stray clump of hair behind my ear. I haven't felt this comfortable with anyone in ages.

"Is this wrong of us, to be like this?"

There it was. The guilt, I knew it would come out eventually.. but looking into her eyes was like looking into heaven. I couldn't get over how they naturally sparkled. They were a light hazel brown, occasionally they get darker.

She sighed heavily while tracing my lips with the back of her finger. Her skin is so soft. It feels so right against mine

"I love Ronnie, more then I love my own life, saying his name hurts more then you could ever know, but he's not coming back for four entire years. I still think about him from when I wake up to when my head hits the pillow, that will never change. But, you. I need you, Max. I don't want to leave you. Not now."

I've never known how it feels so be loved, before. No one has ever told me they overall needed just me. It felt amazing

"I need you. In anyway I can have you. I've never felt so warm, and safe then I do, laying here in your arms, Dee. I'm not going anywhere. Not now."