Taking Down the Sunrise

Severus stared out the window of the Astronomy tower and down onto the lake. He was trying hard to steady his hands. After his encounter with Sirius, he was having serious second thoughts about going on a date with Lily. But he had held his ground when facing the Gryffindor sludge so surely he could hold his ground while he was alone.

But he had no idea how hard it would be waiting for Lily to come. He had been late himself and he was beginning to worry that Lily had shown before him, waited and then left. It was odd for him to think this way since he had known her for years and knew she wasn’t impatient, but the thought crept up on him anyways. Other even more out of character thoughts slid into his mind as well. Was she going to stand him up? Had she been playing with him this whole time?

Suddenly, there was a sound behind him and he turned. Lily looked distressed for someone who was about to start a date with a boy she claimed to love. Her hair was in order, but had clearly been messed up earlier. Her lipstick was freshly reapplied and even though she smoothed down her dress, it still seemed rumpled. Severus frowned.

“Are you alright?” He asked, concerned.

She nodded.

“Did James try anything? Because Sirius was-”

“Shut up,” Lily interrupted, her body but calm but her eyes wavering. She stepped towards him, the room seeming suddenly longer, and placed her hands gently on his cheeks. Their noses brushed gently. Her brilliant green eyes reflected in his black eyes making it seem as though they had become one.

Lily leaned in and kissed him deeply. His hands easily found the contours of her waist and he pulled her closer with a natural ease. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he backed her up against the tower wall. She moaned in delight as he pulled on her hair, fit his body effortlessly with hers and kissed her as if the world would end tomorrow.

His love blossomed in his kiss. He didn’t try anything that any other guy would when alone in a room with a girl. He gave her a chance to think about every move he made and when she didn’t object, he continued. She wanted more from him than what he was giving her, but his hands stayed firmly at her waist and in her hair. She thought about pulling him in, telling him it was okay, but instead she roughly pushed him away.

Severus stumbled slightly, blinked and looked back at her as if he had just been harshly reprimanded. He looked so ridiculous that Lily had to smile as she thought, I made the right choice leaving James behind. She stepped forward and pecked Severus lightly on the lips.

“Now what were you saying about Sirius?”

“He, umm... nothing. It’s really not all that important,” Severus replied, “Are you sure nothing happened that you want to tell me about?”

She shook her head, “I’m messy because I’m nervous. I’m sorry I don’t look better.”

“Lil, you’re gorgeous no matter what.”

She felt like laughing. There was no conceivable way that anyone could be better than the boy standing before her. How she had ever thought such a thing was so incredibly beyond her at that moment that she felt it hadn’t actually happened. The entire memory of making-out with James seemed like a dream. Or more like a horrible nightmare.

The two sat down side by side on the picnic blanket Severus had laid out. He opened the basket and took out a bottle of Butterbeer and two slices of chocolate cake. “I figured since we already had dinner, dessert would be better at this time of night.”

“Well, cake’s always a good choice,” Lily replied.

Severus smiled and handed her a fork, “Dig in.”

They ate cake together, sharing stories they hadn’t yet told each other and inside jokes that went so far back they weren’t exactly sure how they started. Crumbs were soon all that was left on the plates and yet the two continued to talk. They were the kind of people that never got bored of each other or ran out of topics.

“What about Voldemort?”

“You really shouldn’t say that name,” Severus responded quickly.

“Why not?”

Severus shrugged, “He’s a fantastic wizard and he’s getting quite a following. I mean, you can’t deny that eventually he will be very powerful. It might be useful to be on his side.”

“Sev, he wants to kill Muggles and Muggle-borns,” Lily countered, “Namely, me. You can’t want to be sided with someone who wants people like me dead.”

“He’s an extremist, Lily. He won’t actually kill you,” Severus replied, “I’ll make sure of that.”

“It’s a stupid idea and I won’t let you be part of something like that!” Lily exclaimed.

“Calm down. I’m not suggesting that I’m going to drop out of school and go follow him around the country hunting down people he doesn’t like. I’m just saying he does have a good standing. He was a Slytherin, you know.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“It is a good thing.”

Lily paused, “Why don’t we just drop it?”

“Brilliant idea.”

Dead silence followed this proclamation. For a split second, Severus wondered if he should apologize, but all he had done was voice his opinion. Lily also considered taking back what she had said, but she had been defending people like her and most importantly her family.

After hours, which were in reality seconds, Severus said, “Should we call it a night?”

“Yeah,” Lily replied coolly, “Let’s.”

Severus packed up the picnic basket while Lily watched the stars out the open windows. They seemed to be spinning a microscopic pace but she knew it was really the world that was turning. Severus cleared his throat and she turned.

“I’ll walk you back to Gryffindor tower.”

She nodded and they started their walk down the halls. It was creepy in the old building late at night. Their steps echoed and any sound they made bounced off the walls. Lily shivered, not because it was cold, but because she was scared. Filch could be anywhere. Mrs. Norris could be anywhere. They could be caught.

About halfway to the Gryffindor common room, Severus made a risky move and took Lily’s hand. To his surprise she didn’t pull away or even flinch, she just moved closer to him. Maybe it was the ominous ambience in the school after two or maybe it was that she didn’t really want to fight with him, but she found that she didn’t want him to leave. And when she realized this the journey to the tower felt shorter than it should be.

The two stopped before the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was fast asleep. “Goodnight, Lily,” Severus said and he leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

But Lily moved faster than him and caught him on the lips. She pulled him in hungrily and backed herself into a wall. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she drew back slightly and whispered, “Touch me.”

“What?”

“Touch me,” She murmured softly, “It’s alright.”

“Lily, I think I should leave.”

“Please don’t.”

Severus held his breath and counted to ten in his head, “Lily, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but I know you’re not in your right mind. Maybe you’re scared, maybe you’re tired, I don’t know. What I do know is that this is not what you want.”

“You don’t know that. You can’t read my mind.”

He shut his eyes. Carefully, he removed her arms from his neck and took a step back, “Goodnight, Lily. I’ll see you in the morning,” And then he walked away.