Taking Down the Sunrise

The knocking on the door was so insistent that Lily had to give in. She opened the door at the shouting of Severus’s words, “I didn’t scramble up that slide to talk to your door! I mean, come on, Lil, I-”

She stared at him with ice green eyes and crossed her arms. She did not have a word to say to him and it was clear by her posture that he was expected to speak first.

“Lil, I am so sorry,”

“Sorry doesn’t erase mistakes, Sev,”

He took a deep breath, reached for her and then quickly let his hand drop. “Shit,” he whispered, staring at her with desperate eyes, “Lil, it was stupid. It was a terrible, awful mistake that I let that word slip through my mouth.”

“And why wouldn’t it slip through your mouth? You say it all the time to other people. You say it to my friends, Sev! They wonder why I love you and I... I never understood why they asked that until now. I mean, how can you love someone who hates the very blood in your veins?”

“I don’t hate your blood,” he whispered, “That’s not how I see you. I don’t think of you as a... as that. You’re a brilliant witch with a great career ahead of you and-”

“And you hope I somehow escape the wrath of your Dark Lord?”

“What?”

“You worship someone who wants to kill me! Do you not understand that, Severus?”

Severus hesitated and for the first time he actually dared to take her hand. She tried to pull it back but he held it tightly. Their fingers intertwined naturally. Lily’s breath caught in her throat as his eyes met hers and that inevitable spark that they had suppressed for five years hit her once again.

“Sev, you’re not going to get out of this that easily,”

“Why not?” he whispered, leaning in.

Lily flinched as he came closer but made no move to struggle as his nose brushed against hers. Severus took his other hand and cupped it around her face. Their eyelashes grazed against each other as they blinked.

“Sev, I-”

He shut her up by pressing his lips gently against hers. He tried to put all of his love, all of his remorse into that one touch. Lily gasped against his mouth and he pressed her into the wall. Her hands found his chest, grabbed his shirt and at first he thought she was going to pull him in but instead she pushed him.

Severus stumbled back, caught by surprise. Lily fixed her hair and retreated as far as she could without going back into her room. She crossed her arms over her chest and whispered, “I think maybe it’s best if you leave.”

“Lil, you can’t mean that,”

“I do.”

“I love you. Lil, I love you more than anything in the entire world. I can’t live without you, you have to give me another chance. You have to forgive me!”

“I don’t think I can, Sev. I don’t think-”

“You have to!” Severus shouted. Tears were building up in his dark eyes as he continued, lowering his voice but keeping his passion level, “You have to because I don’t know what else to do! It was just a word, Lil. A stupid, terrible word and I swear I will never say it again! I will never say it again if you just forgive me,”

Lily sniffed and rubbed Severus’ shoulder gently. She let it fall down his arm and he caught it between both of his hands. His lips gently pressed against each of her fingers as she whispered, “I forgive you, Sev. I do, I really do. I forgive you,”

“Lil, you have no idea what this means to me. How much I-”

“But I can’t be with you,”

Severus froze.

“I can’t go on like this knowing that you, that you think of me that way and-”

“But I don’t, Lil! I really, really don’t!”

“You do, I know you do,” she whispered. Her fingers moved behind her looking for the doorknob as his eyes went through her. “I’m sorry. I love you, Sev, but-”

“If you loved me you wouldn’t leave!”

“I’m sorry. So, so sorry, Sev,”

Her whisper trailed off as the door behind her opened. She slipped through it, her head down and then let it rest against the wood. Severus’ shouts could be heard through the door. Lily breathed in deeply and then fell to the floor, tears streaming down her face like a waterfall.

Suddenly, there were arms around her. The warmth of the body coming up behind her and the soft lips cruising across her cheek bone made her feel safe. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“No problem,” James whispered, letting his lips trail down her neck.

“I just can’t be alone right now,”

“I’ll never let you be alone,”

And they sat on the floor together, James’ lips trailing across her skin as the shouts from beyond were finally lost. There was a bump, like he had slid to the floor, but Lily pretended it was something else as her shirt hit the floor and James’ lips finally met hers.

The End